Dating my friend's ex

[MarcusLa]

I use to consider myself a good person until recently. My friend and his girlfriend broke things off after a long relationship due to the long distance. I was taking classes with his girlfriend for summer semester, and we became good friends. I'm not sure how things went from friends to more but it did. I'm currently in a relationship with my friend's ex, and I dont want to lose my friend over her. I've been seeing her for a little over a month. Its hard though because i have never been happier whenever im around her. I hardly get a chance to see my friend / friends anymore due to the distance. I still feel really crappy about doing this to him.

 

I always try and make everyone happy, and have never been put in a situation where I had to choose a friendship over a girl. However, I still talk to my friend and he knows about the situation, but he mainly just talks to my other friends about how he feels about things. I know things probably wont be the same even if i stop dating his ex. I'm just hoping time will help mend things back. I guess from all my rambling.. I know what I have to do, but I just dont know how end things with her. I tried to break up with her tonight, but i just couldnt do it. Please help.

[Esteller]

man what you really got to do is ask the ex whats the deal.. does he care you need to know how he feels so it could give you that extra push .. you know.. better prob you will find happiness again..

[bluexin99]

Do you want to be with her? or do you value your friendship with him more?

 

They are no longer together so don't feel so bad about it. If you want your friendship back, then to be honest, i don't think it's going to be the same again. There's going to be that 'wall' between you two. Good luck!

[Kantriakhor]

If your friend can't handle it and holds it against you then he's not being a very good friend. It's natural for him to feel awkward about it but remember, your happiness matters too. The Bros before H*** mentality is childish when it comes to these situations.

 

You said you're happy with her, enjoy it and don't flaunt it to your friend, if he forcs you to choose then you know he's not being a true friend.

[MarcusLa]

and don't flaunt it to your friend

 

Another problem with this is my roommate. He is a mutual friend to everyone i know, and he has been trying to keep it a secret that he's been telling my friend everything about his ex and i. It's the main thing that is actually causing a problem. I feel he is hurting my friend more by telling him everything. Its pretty much just making me feel horrible because everyone around me is disapproving of this relationship. Also thank you everyone for the replies.

[guynextdoor]

Sorry you are stuck in that predicament. I myself would not date my friends ex. I have alot of respect for my friends and if I feel the need to date my friend's ex I would definitely talk to him first. I think you broke the man rule#1.

My advise is get matters resolve with your friend first, man up and talk to him. Trust me it works out alot better this way. Hopefully your girlfriend would understand why you need to do this.

[MarcusLa]

I let myself get into this predicament. I've tried talking to my friend about it and of course he disapproves of it. I have made the situation worse by lying unintentionally. I have told him that I would rather keep the friendship, but I have not actually tried to end things with his ex until last night.

[jony1234]

i think if i really wanted to date a friends ex i would ask him.. i actualy had a girl like me that my buddie went out with.. he broke it off with her actualy.. so i just asked him what he thought about her... he said she was alright girl..not girl for him... he already had new girlfriend since then...