Confused about my situation

[Tryin]

My girlfriend and I just recently took a "break" about 3 weeks ago. We had been in a serious relationship for a year and had been living together for about 9 mo's. We spent every day together for that year. Before the break she started spending more time with her friends and family. I didn't mind at all. I had a business trip about a month ago for a week. When I returned things seemed different. We had our 1 yr. anniversary about a week later and we got into a small disagreement that carried over into the next morning.

 

She decided to stay with her parents for a while and for us to take a "break". We have spoken to each other quite a bit over the past few weeks and have seen each other a few times.

 

She came over a couple of weeks ago before going on vacation with one of her girlfriends and we had a great time. We told each other that we loved one another and I spoke with her a few times while she was there.

 

When she got back she seemed more distant and she needed time apart. I called her like everyday and she told me that I was driving her farthur apart from me. I didn't call her for a couple of days but I did send her a text message. She called me the past 2 days and I asked her if we could get together later this week. She said that she would call me later this week and we would see.

 

Does it sound like we have a chance to get back together? How should I handle the situation?

[Stefi]

Did you notice any change in her behavior before she started spending more time with her friends and family? (less communicative, dressing differently?, loss of interest in sex?)

 

I assume she must have discussed with you why she wanted a break. It's kinda hard to say if you have chance of getting back together without knowing the reasons she gave you for wanting a break. Let her know that eventhough you aren't happy about it, you're agreeing to take a break but that you need her to be open with you and let you know where she sees your relatioship going. After that, don't call her or send her any messages for a week or so. If she's a decent person, she'll call you and say what she needs to say.

 

I hope this helps a little.

[TrueHeart]

Sounds like your lady friend is confused with what she wants, and what she doesn't want. Perhaps the break was her idea of just needing to be with her friends/family more-- since you spent everyday with eachother.

 

But now, after your separation, she is starting to act like she's "by appointment only"-- then perhaps one can only suspect the worst... that she doesn't want to be with you, atleast right now. This isn't an excuse to "string you along" persay-- and I would suggest a nice talk with her... Try asking her again if she would like to join you for coffee or you would like to make her dinner at your house/apartment. You need to discuss your relationship, but try to avoid the blame game. Express to her that you feel the time you've spent away has been healthy for the both of you (always include yourself) -- but you were really curious to know how she feels about you.

 

I'm not ssaying this is the easiest way, or perhaps even the smartest way to approach that-- but use your best judgement. If you've only dated for a year, 9 months of which you've lived together-- can be pretty stressful, even if things were going great. Let her know that you agree with spending time away from eachother, especially with other friends and family-- its healthy....

 

I hope this helps a little bit, good luck!

[Tryin]

We had a great sex life. The reason for the break is that she said that she wasn't happy anymore. She said that it wasn't me, that she needed time to think things over.