How can I program myself to just let it go?

[Stella Sleepwalks]

I feel like the past two years have been consumed in negativity. Went out with a man who promised me the world and treated me like a dog, and not only did I go back to him, I let him abuse my kindness and treat me like I was nothing.

 

I have tried to do things for myself. I have travelled and met new people, and I have concentrated on looking after my mum and making her feel like she has things to look forward to in life. Investing in her, and me and our family, after neglecting us for so long and looking after people who turn around and spit in your face for the efforts you have made.

 

I feel like the last 6 months in particular, I can't even leave the house without being spoken to like dirt, or made to feel small. I get into spats with strangers all the time because I feel compelled to stand up for myself over the pettiest of things. I can't walk away from anyone who aggravates me or tries to beat me down, because I just can't let even one more person talk down to me and make me feel like I am the dirt beneath my feet. I just can't walk away from a fight..... I'm not saying that I go out looking for trouble, because I don't. I just can't back down. I feel like the stress of an argument is better than the stress of sitting back and thinking; "I've been knocked down again - you loser!"

 

I have been in a job which I love, but which doesn't reward me for the work I do, and I am going for a job interview on the 2nd September to try and kick start my career. I don't feel I can get it, even though I have been told I am the best candidate for the job, because I know I am coming off as being full of attitude and aggression. My mum says she doesn't see her daughter that often, because I come home full of frustration and anger. I find myself "sticking up" for myself over things that I should just roll my eyes at and ignore, but I can't let it go over my head. I have never been so stressed out in my life, and my reputation is getting tarnished because of it. I wanna be the bubbly, kind, take the rough with the smooth person I once was, but I just can't find my way back. How do I do it? How do I just let it all go?

[Esteller]

by realizing the truth in what you cant change and what you can.. seriously realizing the truth.. you will know when it happens.. and im was kinda that guy in your story but i really really dont want to be like that kind of person and i was never to begin with.. it felt like i was caught in something and i finally got out of it before it was too late... its prob that climax where you go back to your boyfriend hoping he changed... yea..

[Xetra Dax]

Very simple , don't be a doormat. If you let things go naturally people will walk all over you again and again if they know that you are kind to the point that you let yourself abuse. No more say, STOP to here and no further. Don't allow people to walk over and absuse you , from there your life will go a lot better.

[Stella Sleepwalks]

Its not really about him - he was just the final nail in the coffin. I have vowed that he is the last person who I let use me. I have done so much for people in my life. I'm always the one who gets depended upon, who runs around after people and neglects themselves, and I feel like after I have served my purpose, the only thing left to do is sit there and let them take all their crap out on me! It has flicked a switch in me, a very bad switch.

 

 

I am hot headed, but its like every other word I say is a swear word! I am so full of rage at the whole world that I have lost my ability to articulate how I feel in a way which respects the person I'm talking to and most importantly, myself. My friend physically shook me today. PHYSICALLY GRABBED AND SHOOK ME, and called me a * * * * * ! I have never had anyone do that before. That is not me! He sat me down and said that he doesn't recognize me anymore, and that he's scared that I am going to lose all the positive traits people love about me.

 

I just have no idea who I am or what to do.

[Stella Sleepwalks]

Very simple , don't be a doormat. If you let things go naturally people will walk all over you again and again if they know that you are kind to the point that you let yourself abuse. No more say, STOP to here and no further. Don't allow people to walk over and absuse you , from there your life will go a lot better.

 

But I have gone from one extreme to another.

[Esteller]

try this site about hotheadedness and anger.link removed hope it helps