Tell me it gets better

[getting_on_ok]

I've been in NC for about a month. The mornings suck for me!! I just dont know what to do. Recently I heard that my ex love me so much and she was asking about me. And that she missed me, then I hear she went to Vegas. What is going on, why wouldnt she call if she missed me so much.

[bentandbroken]

It's possible that she may miss you, but if your relationship was unhealthy ... it may not be enough to want to get back together with you. You sound like you miss her, have you called her?

I doubt she is just going to forget the relationship, and walk away without hurt feelings. She has to readjust to not having you, and she probably does miss you ... but the "no contact" thing is part of the "moving on" process. She is probably trying to move on, and it sounds like you should do the same.

What you don't know, won't hurt you ... I wouldn't try finding out if she's been checking up on you. You can't be desperate in the situation, just waiting around to see if she calls. Yeah it's going to suck, and break ups are never good. My advice is to get out, and try and move on with yourself.

Time definatly heals the pain, it's just that no one ever said it heals quickly.

[getting_on_ok]

I'm trying my hardest, but what does it mean when she keeps asking if she should call me or not. I dont really like who she is asking and I dont think this guy is a good man. Should I call her, and just say hello? Something inside keeps telling me to stay still.

[dimnickel1980]

it gets better

[white daisy]

It's my first NC day. And we broke up almost a year ago. Till yesterday we had contacts almost every other day, we even slept together and he told me I am the one for him, he missed me and all that crap. So I've decided to try this NC program. I fell empty, lonely and forgotten from all. Not just today, fell like that for months...

I wish I could tell something to make you fell better but.....

[getting_on_ok]

I was thinking about staying in contact with her. However, I am not going to be the backup plan. And now that I am looking at it, it seemed as if I was the backup plan during our relationship. I have learned a lot from a this relationship. It doesnt really matter how nice a person is or how much they say they love you, actions speak louder then words. And I am seeing more and more that love is not only a feeling but it is an action. I will never take someone's bull when they are staring at other men and really making me feel insecure. Even after you tell them that it hurts you. Life is too short I dont want to take someones crap.

[dimnickel1980]

^^^ you're right getting on ok. i promise.. it will get better. i was with my bf for 3+ years and loved/adored him. everything good until about the last month and he left out of the blue. found out later it was mostly bc of this girl two years younger than me.

 

if i can get through that.. you can get through this.

 

NC strong.

[getting_on_ok]

Yea one big difference is that I just turned 30, I really thought we would be together forever. Even if we fought, she would tell me that she was fighting for me. And I was trying my best to make it work. But when you have someone disrespect you over and over it gets hard. I wish i would of broke up with her ealier.

[getting_on_ok]

Why is it that I feel I need to know if she's with some one or not. Is it possible to say those things and be with someone else?

[KiNo]

Its normal for you to think that way, me too... at very 1st... but for my case, i was so pain because she left for someone else...

 

Still, you'll not thinking that way much as time passing on, stay strong and you'll be fine, I promise you that...

[getting_on_ok]

Thank you I am trying so hard not to contact her. When I pray I ask God if I should contact her and I hear this voice to stay still in the back of my mind, do you believe that everything happens for a reason.

[trnscndntlst]

What you feel is pretty normal. You are still in the process. You had a relationship with her and almost everyday you think of her. It's not like after breaking up, the feelings will just disappear. I wish it would. We are still emotionally connected to this person in one way or another. You can think of doing anything but also think of what the consequences when it befalls. We cannot undo what was already done.

I always think about him and what's going on with his life but if I try to inquire these things then I have to deal the consequences that I'll be hurt again coz he's ok and that he is starting to date or if he says he miss me or love me still but can't be with me. As what they say, what you don't know won't hurt you.

Give it time, actually a lot of time and one day you'll get better. Nothing heals overnight unless you're superman. ;-)

Try to think of other things that can divert your mind off of her even for just a second.

[gottafeeling]

This post has been very helpful to me.. I'm in Day 5 of NC and I want to call her soo bad... Getting On OK's messages made me realize that why would I want to call someone who was disrespectful to me and my feelings. She did the same things to me.

[dimnickel1980]

t doesnt really matter how nice a person is or how much they say they love you, actions speak louder then words.

 

don't forget this! if she really misses/loves you so much.. she will get a hold of you. don't move a muscle. if you're feeling lonely go hang out with family or friends.. even if you just sit there and don't say much.. it helps to be around ppl who love you unconditionally.

 

also, idk where you got the information about her missing/loving you from your original post.. but i'd really steer clear of that kind of information. it hurts more than it helps.

 

i also wanted to know if my ex had a new girlfriend, but for a good reason. i already suspected she was a big factor in the breakup bc she was in the picture before we broke up. i'm glad i found out. if your ex is dating someone new that you don't know anything about.. it's best to be left in the dark. my situation was a little different. try not to let your imagination go too wild.. whatever your thinking is probably not the actual truth and exaggerated. our minds are mean that way.