He likes me? Or does he? Can you have a read and tell me what you think?

[lindyloo]

I still like this guy who was a good friend a couple of years ago. I had no idea he liked me, he's really shy and it took him months to ask me out, on our 1st proper date I got a bit drunk and we almost had sex. we did stop, no protection! Things were awkward for a while after and I was convinced he must hate me.

I've been texting him about once a month or so, just friendly stuff, he always replies, and sometimes asks questions. Just lately he's been getting chattier again, but I'm not sure if he's just being friendly or if there is more to it. He really is one of those very shy types which makes him very dificult to read.

Anyway, I wanted to see him again, so I asked him if he'd do me a favour, he said yes before he knew what it was. So I asked if he'd have a look at my car for me,(he likes doing stuff like that) to see if I could figure him out a bit better face to face.

Anyway things seemed to go well, there was no awkwardness at all, he headed straiight to the car to see what was wrong!

I couldn't quite work out if the lack of awkwardness was because he sees us as just 'mates' and there was no pressure.

I did note he made no eye contact at all either, he was busy I suppose!

So instead of having 'balls' and asking if he wanted to meet up sometime I just said thanks etc and bye.

I sent him a text later that just thanked him again, said it was nice to catch up and told him I wanted to hear all about his holiday when he got back...He replied with 'no probs'.

(He'd said he's going on holiday next week)

 

Anyway after replying 'no probs' I wasn't sure if he would get in touch after his hols.

However, he sent me this text yesterday

'Hiya, how you? I'm off west tomorrow, hope it stays sunny! Don't mind about the weather really, will have fun either way!'

I just replied that I was sure the sun would come out just for him, and to enjoy and that I was looking forward to hearing about it when he got back.

 

So he got in touch before he went away, you think thats a good sign?

Do I leave it up to him now to get in touch when he gets back, he's got me so confused, I don't know what to do.

[Maria Lisa]

Ah yes, sounds like he is interested, at least in being friends. Play it cool and don't overdo the texts, or he might get all weird.

 

Confusing men...yes. The guy I pine for never calls me back...although when I see him he tells me, "You need to get text! I never call anyone back." So. Good luck, I think you are just fine

[dontworrybhapp]

i didnt even read the whoel thing and already know what to reply. all i know isd if you go back to him hes gonna assume you wanna finish what u started i havent read the other posts so i dont know what people are replying but go ahead go back to him and look like a lil * * * * or jus keep him in the friend zone stay frends and never talk about almost banging ever again

 

problem solved. like i said if u go back to him hes gonna label you as easy and hes gonna tell his frends too.

[RomanticAthart]

if you almost had sex, then it sounds like he certainly wants to be more than friends! I would just keep being friendly.. and perhaps drop some hints that you wud like to go on another date..

[lindyloo]

Hmm, well he's back now. I thought he was away for 2 weeks but obviously not!

Anyway got another text just asking how I was, said I was ok, asking how the holiday was and he said he was back and asked what I'd been up to and also if I'd cleaned the car yet? To which I replied that i could do with a hand! Not exactly romantic I know but I just get a feeling sometimes that he wants to talk but has no idea what to say sometimes, howerever got no offer of help to clean car (I was only joking!)

Anyway we just went on to talk about work and me getting my holidays in a couple of weeks....

Should I just be asking outright if he wants do do something one weekend? Or will that be too much too soon?

If he didn't like me he wouldn't be texting at all, right?

I feel like we are back at the start where we were a couple of years ago but I don't remember thinking it was this hard last time!

[Knight of Hope]

Well, I'm 100% sure that he wants to be your friend. How strong he wants that friendhip to be is what's in question here. I can also tell you with a decent degree of confidence that he wants to be at least your close friend. Beyond that, I can't really draw any conclusions. And I don't really want to speculate, since I know how powerful a person's imagination can be. You can see feelings that aren't really there - or miss feelings that are there - and someone usually gets hurt when this happens. Instead of speculation, then, I'll offer some insight.

 

As I see it, there are two possibilities: he wants to be just friends, or he's interested. As a shy guy myself, I'm trying to put myself in his shoes. All I'll tell you from here on out is from that experience.

 

It could be that he just wants to be friends. If I said those things to a girl, I wouldn't necessarily be interested. Nothing about what he's said and done really jumps out at me and tells me he's interested.

 

But he could be interested, and just moving very slowly. From what you've said of him, that would be something he would do. This is why I think he may be interested: See, when I'm interested in a woman, I'll talk to her/text her/call her more often. If her response is positive, then I get encouraged and talk to her more often, showing my interest a little more each time. Key point: I usually don't directly tell the girl that I'm interested in her. That way, if it becomes clear she just wants to be my friend, I have a good friend without the awkwardness that comes from an unreciprocated crush.

 

He may be doing the same kind of thing. He's interested, and so he texts you more often. You're giving him positive feedback, so he's texting you even more frequently. He's going pretty slow, more slowly than I would, but he seems to be following a similar pattern. Keep it up and he may give you a clearer indication of his interest.

 

Or you could just ask him out and see what happens. I know it's more traditional for the guy to ask out the girl, but times are changing. As far as I'm concerned, it's perfectly fine for a girl to ask out a guy. If he'd be okay with a woman asking him out, then it might be worth a shot.

[lindyloo]

Well. Just occurred to me that since he fixed my car he's been the one initiating the texts and not me. Was the other way round till then!

I did think i'd been dropping plenty of hints, maybe I've been a bit too subtle?

Here is another thought.. Last night, as I do every Friday, I do a friend a favour, now he knows this and last night, in the pouring rain there he was walking his dog along the main road when he has loads of access to fields and dirt tracks just outside his house! Coincidence or not?

Anyway i'd driven past before I realised who it was, sent him a message to say hi and that I hadn't realised it was him or I'd have peeped. Have had no reply, didnt leave much to reply to!

I just get the feeling that he's dead keen some days and couldn't care less the next.

If i'm gonna ask him out, any ideas of things I can ask him to, is a one on one situation best?

[Symbolic]

Oh my god! Just ask him out. If he is shy you need to take the initiative. Shy guys are terrified of screwing up. When you think "am I asking too soon?" And all that, he is thinking the same thing probably times ten. He likes you, ask him out.

[Knight of Hope]

Shy guys are terrified of screwing up.

 

Agreed x100000000000000.

[lindyloo]

Well I asked him if he was busy this weekend, he replied he wasn't really and asked what was on. So, I said nothing was on, I just wondered if he fancied doing something, and I'm still waiting for an answer!! Ok, I've been waiting 2 days, but he usually don't take this long to reply.

I just don't get it, if he hadn't wanted to he could have made up some lame excuse!

Or maybe he's scared of me or something.

What now??!

[Brightest Dark]

I just don't get it, if he hadn't wanted to he could have made up some lame excuse!

Or maybe he's scared of me or something.

What now??!

 

Tell me about it! I know a shy guy and when I was visiting his area a couple of years back I wrote suggesting we met and instead of him coming up with a lame excuse he just didn't reply. I don't get that. It's really not hard to say 'I'm busy this weekend' instead of no reply. Maybe that's just how shy guys do things though... Maybe they put off replying so they don't feel as guilty as if they'd have had to give a fake excuse. Then they can say 'Oh I meant to reply, but...' later if need be.

[lindyloo]

I'm just so ticked off, i thought about it for days before asking and then just asked in a casual way so there would be no pressure on him etc....

Men!!