Parents

[Nuffin]

I wasn't too sure of where to put this. So I'm sorry if its in the wrong section.

 

I need advice on how to get my parents and my fiance (maybe ex) to sit down and talk and get over fighting with each other.

 

This has been going on since we have been dating (almost 2 years).. it started when my boyfriend wanted to stay at my house so he could have the chance to start a new, get a job and have a life of his own .. His dad didn't like this and my mother didn't care .. The 1st time his father and my mother met was to talk about why he was staying at mine .. rather than his own house ..all i just remember a lot of un-needed commentary..one particular thing was .. My mother asked what my boyfriend was good at ..his dad replied " Hes good for nothing."

 

 

After awhile it became worse and worse .. when i cam over .. his parents took shots at me sarcastically and sly if you didn't think about it .. you wouldn't notice ... I have been blamed for him not being able to find a job .. for his drinking for his unhappiness .. when it is them... They have pushed him down so low its hard to pick him up and say " its ok.. I'm here.. don't listen to them"

 

Both sides are to blame for this continuous fighting ... It is now to the point where .. he is breaking up with me because of all of it .....His father today almost had me and my mother deported just because i visited him today .. and he did not go to work .. (which was not my fault but he thinks differently) I'm so upset about this i have been crying for days and cannot stomach any food .. it just comes back up .. I love him and I'm not ready for my relationship to be ruined and end because of this .. please help me ..

[Vet]

What does your boyfriend have to say about all of this? It doesn't really sound like he's in a place that he can be getting married. Sounds like he has a drinking problem, doesn't have a place of his own to live, isn't contributing to your household, and is depressed. Why the urge to rush into something where you'll ultimately end up being miserable? If he wants to break up with you because his parents are making him, is this really a man you want to be attached to?

 

Sounds like his parents don't really approve of you. Is is born of racism or are they just not happy with the direction his life has taken (and they see you as enabling it)?

[Cognitive_Canine]

The ball is in your boyfriend court. He needs to get out of his parents toxic home.

 

Only he can do that for himself. You can encourage him but push him too hard and he'll feel like you're trying to change him or tear him away from his family.

[Nuffin]

What does your boyfriend have to say about all of this? It doesn't really sound like he's in a place that he can be getting married. Sounds like he has a drinking problem, doesn't have a place of his own to live, isn't contributing to your household, and is depressed. Why the urge to rush into something where you'll ultimately end up being miserable? If he wants to break up with you because his parents are making him, is this really a man you want to be attached to?

 

Sounds like his parents don't really approve of you. Is is born of racism or are they just not happy with the direction his life has taken (and they see you as enabling it)?

 

Well they say they are trying to help him ... but they just dont flat out help him ..theres always stipulations to it ... they want him to have his own life, but dont allow him to do so .. .. Yes he does have a drinking problem it seems to get worse when hes with them .. They blame it on me even thought this has been going on before i was in the picture ... They control but say they dont .. driving me crazy