Handling rudeness

[Celadon]

Hi everyone. I'd need some help in handling rudeness. I've always been a sensitive person, which has been a blessing and a curse. Part of the curse is that I don't know how to let rudeness just roll off of my back. Like this week, I got into a small disagreement with a co-worker and it really wrecked my concentration.

 

I put up with a lot of stuff growing up, for the sake of "getting along" with people. Maybe that's why I don't quite know how to handle things. Nowadays, I find myself either getting mad or depressed. I feel like there's either something wrong with the other person or something wrong with me.

 

I'd rather be able to say (and feel), "Eh, no biggie." But how do I get to that place? Thanks.

[falcon115]

THe trick is when people are mad they say things out of haste. Don't let anything anyone says when they are mad bother you. Really what other people think is not that big of deal. I'm the kind of guy who gets along with everyone I meet. I'm not the most popular in school but I get calls from the kids who are asking me to go ride motorcycles or snowboard and stuff like that. I've found over my 18 years is that if you can take an insult and not let it bother you people like that quality. Hope this helps.

[woopsydaisy]

hi katie, i think its positive to be sensitive, as you are carefull as to how you treat others.The only thing is as you have found out others arnt always the same.When i have been upset in the past i have had to take a step back and just think to myself alot of people make comments whithout thinking about what they are saying.I think we have all done that at one time or another.Thease comments ( at times) arnt aimed at us personally , we make them personal by looking into them to deeply, and think there are hidden meanings in them, ( unless they are blatantly directed at you).

In short we can not change other peoples opinions, and in a way the only way we can deal with those opinions, is to just accept them and dont take it to heart(easier said than done), and be happy they are not yours.

[woobiegirl]

Hello

 

I have found that in life that the greatest thing of all time is our memory, it's in our favor. It is the greatest thing why ? Because we all forget. So when people get mad, don't worry either way they soon forget. That includes what they said an what you thought you said. It does not matter because most have forgotten a long time ago. So why worry about it and get depressed. They are out at some club eating fish and chips and having a grog. Sorry about that, I just forgot my next sentence, gotta go. See what I mean.

 

Woobiegirl

 

 

[prelude93]

I agree with falcon. I'd have to say I'm exactly the same way as falcon. I've never really been picked on in school, but if I am i just shrug it off and it doesn't bother me. Now how to just shrug stuff of with ease, I really don't know how to tell you. I hardly ever get mad and if you see me mad it will be a once in a life time experience probaly. The main key is to have patience with people. remember that the person is not perfect and no one is perfect in fact. People make decision's in there life and even though it may be against you don't let it get to you. When every someone annoys me I just ignore em and they usually stop after doing it the second or third time, if they aren't making you mad then they'll stop because thats what they want, to make you mad. If someone is mad at me and get all pissy I just ignore the comments they say. If I get so fed up with listening or being around them I'll just leave, usually I'll make up some excuse to leave so they don't think I'm leaving because they are mad at me. But sometimes in a calm none mean voice I'll flat out tell em, "Sorry, but I don't really wanna be around you right now if you aren't gonna be nice." something like that.

 

O well, hope I helped. Good luck.

[mahlina]

Aaww..K8tie Kool,

 

Don't be so hard on yourself! I can see that you're such nice, sensitive girl...Don't worry, it's not your fault! Just keep on being that nice and wonderful person that you are, and eventually, you're bound to meet the same nice people as well. I agree with the other posters on people saying things out of maddness. Yes, sometimes people do say things out of irrationality, but if they're consistantly attacking you, then shrug it off. I'm serious. I'm like you sometimes. But, now that I see it, people are just different. Some people are less sensitive, thereforeeee, to a sensitive person, they are harsh, when they don't mean to be. However, if a certain person, or a group of people, continually make it a point to put you down and be rude to you in front of others, just realize that:

1. They are the ones with issues.

2. They are ignorant and live out ignorant lives!

3. Feel sorry for them.

 

I'm serious! Feel sorry for them, and let them roll in their own mud! It's sad you know? I don't know why people have to be so egotistical and put others down all the time. I think that it's just their personality. I don't see why people have to hate on each other, because underneath it all, we are all the same, and deserve that humane respect! So K8tie Kool, please don't be so hard on yourself. You deserve to feel better about yourself. Yay! When you're caught up in that kind of scenario, just think about it, think, "Okay, they're clearly, acting out on irrationality. If they can't use better judgement to communicate with me, in a mature and open-minded fashion, then they are NOT worth my time!"

 

You are such a mature young lady! A pat on your back! Continue on being yourself, don't ever let them change you, or get you down to the point of depression, because, in one way or the other, "What goes around comes around!"

 

Take Care Girly,

Mahlina

 

P.S.- I'm for less at for 'obnoxious' attitudes. I clearly do not appreciate Egotism. thereforeeee, I wish that more people like the Dalai Lama existed! Such a nice, gentle, human-being, just like you! You are a charm!

[Celadon]

Hi everyone -- I really appreciate you understanding and helping me out. You all have some very excellent insights, and I appreciated hearing how you handle things.

 

I'm starting to see that other people's behavior is not worth getting all wrapped up in a knot about, even though I have been reacting that way. I definitely have taken things personally, but I will try not to. Like you guys said, when people get mad, they don't always think (me, neither!) And I'm not perfect, so I won't let people tell me or make me feel I should be.

 

I don't know if I naturally have the patience of Falcon or Prelude, but I will try. Maybe instead of getting mad or depressed, I can just react by being perplexed instead. Perplexed I can handle (I think!). Cheers.