How to stop thinking about someone...please help

[Shikas]

Hi Iam shikas..I broke up with my boyfriend 4 months ago...but i still cant stop thinking about him. The month i broke up with him..inspite of my feelings for him... i got engaged to another guy who is in my country of my mums choice...but i think i love him..When i came back to Sydney..I started thinking about my boyfriend...and i kept calling him...just to hear his voice...I kept emailing him....and he never replied..I started my Uni this year...and its so hard to study because i keep thinking about him..and recently he started talking to me over the phone..and two days ago ..i met him after 4months. He kissed me....but unfortunately he doesnt tell him his feelings..and sometimes ignores.me..He is married...thats why he doesnt want to tell me his feelings. But i feel that i cant forget him..and when iam home..i just want to listen to sad songs and think of him...i miss him...but he doesnt care. I want to get on with my life..and totally not think of him..but my fiance...I just dont know how to stop thinking of him....Please someone tell me how..

[abcd1234]

Whenever you begin to think about him i think that you should do something to take your mind off it. Here are a few examples:

 

1. Go for a run

2. Listen to music, not the sad stuff you mentioned

3. Go out with friends

4. Call your fiance

 

Thes may or may not work for you but the most important thing of all is that you dont call or email him anymore. If this is hard then delete his number and email address from the address book.

 

By initiating this contact with him, you think about him more and it turn this makes you miss him more. Dont meet up with him again.

 

I know that all of this sounds really hard but you will begin to feel much better once you are into the routine of it.

 

abcd1234

[therethisgirl..]

yeah i agree, its hard to stop thinking about someone youve felt so close with, but you should think about others before yourself, your fiance must love you.. (well i hope he does) and the other guy is married (hopefully happily), its going to be hard but as time goes by it should be easier..

[Caldus]

I think you should be focusing on whether this is something that you are capable of adjusting to. You sound like you desperately want your old boyfriend back. Unless you take the initiative to get him off of your mind, you are most likely going to remain that way. Thinking of others is good. But sometimes you need to think about what you are going through and what you are truly feeling. Can you honestly say that you can spend the rest of your life with this new guy as opposed to the old guy? Can you honestly say that you even want to be married to anyone right now? I have no idea what you are truly going through, but I thought I might give you my insight on the issue. Hope this helps and good luck.

[ziggystar]

i think the problem is not a matter of thinking about him as much as it is what you think about him. as much as it is hard for you to believe, you can change that. your thoughts lead to your feelings and not the other way around.