Ex girlfriend made contact, Help required

[SLBG]

Just a quick question,

 

I have been doing the NO CONTACT for over 2 weeks now. I was with my ex fiancée for 5 years and she broke things off with me just over 5 weeks ago. She is 20 and I am 23.

 

She sent me and email just over a week ago, all it said was:

 

"Hi, How r things going? How is the business coming along? Email me if you can"

 

I didn't reply as I have been busy setting up my own business and decided no contact was the best route to go.

 

Well that was over a week ago, she has not tried to contact me since. She moved out 5 weeks ago but didn't take all of her stuff. All she left was her passport, a few clothes and some other bits.

 

2 weeks ago she asked me for her passport back, she said she had no plans to go away but wanted it. I said I would find it and pack the rest of her stuff but later that day found this site and started the NO CONTACT rule.

 

From what I have heard she has found a new boyfriend after only 2 weeks of the break up.

 

What should I do next, I don't want to hold on to her stuff, it will be harder if she asks for her passport and she's going away with her new boyfriend.

 

Part of me wants to think that she is confused and does not want to burn all her bridges, so she has left some of her stuff, but on the other had she may not want it back (only her passport)

 

I don't know what to do, should I break no contact as she emailed over a week ago or should I wait and see if she makes contact again.

 

I will post my full story soon, just not ready yet.

 

Hope you can help, thanks in advance.

 

Regards

 

slbg

[Michael2]

What a cop out. A simple non detailed email. SHe wants to see if your collar is still tight. I would take it for what it is. An insincere email, I wouldnt respond to her, if she really wanted to see how you were doing why couldnt she just call.

 

By not writing back you are making her wonder what happened to you, where your life is going, things like that.

 

Make her think, and remember if she has a boyfriend, she may be playing games to keep you on the back burner. Sucks, but this is how some people are.

[SLBG]

Thanks for the reply Michael,

 

I dont want to contact her but I no if I dont make the 1st move she wont, or will she ????

 

When we was together we use to email each other ever day, I'm a self employed I.T guy so I'm always online.

 

If I didnt email her daily she would call and ask whats up, we went from being very close online (email etc) to nothing in 2 weeks.

 

I dont no how she can just switch off and not even send a proper email.

 

I think I am living in false hope, she is only young and wants to enjoy herself, I understand that. I dont want to stand in her way but I have invested 5 years of my life into the relationship.

 

Part of the reason she left was due to her being scared of the business, scared I would become successful and not need her anymore ??? worried I would buy a flash sports car and then drop her.

 

What she has failed to see in it all is that I was setting up business to provide for US and ensure we had a good income so we could have a proper wedding, start a family and be stable for our child/ren.

 

Ive had some really bad jobs in my time, im only 23 but realize that you wont get rich working for somebody else. Its not all about money though, if/when I have children I want to be able to watch them grow up, hear them say there first words and be a part of their life. Im not saying being your own boss makes that possible, all it means is If I work hard now, save and invest (WE) would be finacially secure. She had wanted children for about a year, didnt think I was ready.

 

Is that wrong, should I have given it up for her, got a 9-5 job, started a family when we could not afford to live.......

 

I understand that is must be scary when your partner starts a new business, I had been talking about it for 1 year, then I pulled my finger out designed a promotional flyer and had 10,000 printed and delievered.

 

When the flyers arrived I was over the moon, no mistakes, high quality and I was ready to go.

 

The flyers arrived on the 20th February, that night she walked out, my world fell apart, my drive and determination was lost and im still trying to pick up the pieces.

 

I cannot understand why she could not see that what I was doing was for us, I had no intention of building up the business and then breaking up with her, I got engaged to her, she told me she wanted me to be the father of her children? Why would I want to leave I LOVE her.

 

Well its her loss, I may not be the best bloke in the world but my heart is in the right place, I stood by her for five years through some of the hardest times and this is how she repays me. I dont want to turn my back on her, but what choice is she giving me ????

 

Still trying to think what to do next, I have a small amount of her stuff + her passport. Should I wait till she asks for it back or contact her?

 

Dont really want her contacting me in the summer asking for the passport tellin me shes going away with her new boyfriend, dont want to break the NO CONTACT, could really do with some advice.

 

 

Thanks again, and thanks in advance.

 

Regards

 

 

slbg

[detox5]

Hmm have you tried telling her that the business was for the both of you, or is it still in the no contact fase, I split with my ex and we were on talkin terms for like 2 weeks, she then had no contact for me for like 2 weeks then i managed to get contact out of her again and now shes not contactin lol. If you still cant talk to her or if she doesnt want to talk to you why dont you try writing a letter to her, I was thinking of doing this as texts and phone calls people always do, how often do you receive a letter would be nice to receive one right?

[SLBG]

Hi detox5

 

Thanks for you advice,

 

During the last few month prior to our break up I always told her why I was setting up a business and the rewards we would get from it.

 

The day she walked out we talked later that night, I asked her is she was scared of the business but never really got an answer. I did explain to her that I would never leave her even if the business picked up.

 

Why would I want to end things with her, I was trying to build our future 2gether.

 

I have thought about writing a letter to her, I haven't done so because I feel like I have told her everthing already. I was straight with her from the start, told her I loved and missed her and wanted to be part of her life.

 

She must be aware of my feelings, I no I am doing the NO CONTACT thing but it doesn't mean I don't care. Im worried that she might think that I have forget her and moved on, she is very insecure and might think I have walked away.

 

I'm in a pretty messed up situation, if I contact her she may ignore me and then I have broke the NO CONTACT for nothing, on the other hand she may be happy I contacted her and let me no that she has missed me.

 

What should I do???? I no there are no real answers to my question, it's a gamble, do I sit back and let her drift away or try to step in as a friend and let her no I am still here.

 

Many people have said to me that if she loves me and misses me she will find away to contact me, its only been 5 and a half weeks since we split and only 2 and a half weeks of NO CONTACT.

 

I don't want to blow my chances, if I have a chance that is.

 

Any advice would be great.

 

Thanks in advance

 

Regards

 

 

slbg