konstantine Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 We've been together for almost two years. He was up on ambien one night and asked me if I wanted to see pics of his ex using a vibrator, which was a stupid question. But I told him to delete them and the next day he told me he did. What the hell is wrong with him? Yeah, he didn't forget about them, he just never did it. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 We've been together for almost two years. He was up on ambien one night and asked me if I wanted to see pics of his ex using a vibrator, which was a stupid question. But I told him to delete them and the next day he told me he did. oh do what now? yeah, he knew they were there. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 We've been together for almost two years. He was up on ambien one night and asked me if I wanted to see pics of his ex using a vibrator, which was a stupid question. But I told him to delete them and the next day he told me he did. wth? he seriously asked this? Link to comment
Lamprey Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 To all the women here telling the OP to delete stuff off someone's machine, look past your nose a little bit and think how the guy is going to feel. The OP is a gf. Not a wife. Not an FBI agent. What gives her the right to invade someone's privacy, especially someone she supposedly cares about? If she deletes his stuff she is going to look 1. insecure, 2. snoopy, 3. inconsiderate to her bf. It's going to cause problems and won't fix a thing. Don't do it. And get your nosy off his computer. I have a little story about that, actually: My gf once went through my pics folder and deleted pictures from there. I had a folder full of my brother's wedding pictures, I was the best man and a girl I later had a thing with was the maid of honor. She nuked all the pictures with her in them, even though there was no nudity. Wedding pictures for Christ's sake! So I lost a good amount of the best pictures from my bro's wedding. Group pictures of the wedding party, bride/groom/best man/maid of honor, the works. Was I pissed? Yeah, very. I was in love with her so I didn't make a stink, but if the situation was different - say, we're only starting to date, not yet fully commited, etc., I'd have dumped her insecure ass right then & there. Oddly enough, I wasn't that mad that I lost pictures - I subsequently did restore most of the pictures by asking people who were there (and they're now backed up in 2 places offsite). What made me livid was knowing that she went on my computer and deleted MY stuff without asking. Felt like such an invasion of privacy. We store a lot of personal stuff on our computers over time, and knowing someone is there snooping through, well, it sucks. As it were, I just told her in no uncertain terms that she needs to respect my privacy and that next time she wants to delete things off my PC, she'd better ask me first. I was actually mad enough that I wrote a Windows service to monitor my PC. Anytime anyone went on my computer, it would log what websites they visited, what time, which files were accessed and how (open, delete, move, modify etc). I had it running for a month or so until I calmed down and was convinced that, true to her work, she'd quit snooping. Don't ever lie about computers to a programmer Link to comment
annalisa84 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 Oh my.. He asked what? Wth? Are you serious? And having the pictures is the problem?I'm going to change my opinion now. I said to delete, like many others. But I believe that people who suggest to delete think that he forgot, was not thinking about them. So in order to skip a painful discussion, delete and move on. But this is obviously not the case.. Or if you do feel the need to delete (I'd understand that urge), make a cd of them or something. Then say what you did and give him the cd. If he is serious about you, he'll break it or throw it away. And yuou know they are gone for good, not just hidden better. If not.. he's going to be pissed off at you cos of the snooping and deleting and then just give him the cd, say enjoy and walk out! And I don't give the walk out advice a lot Link to comment
yumicecream Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 I would delete it and confront him if it were porn. Although, I really don't want to date a guy who views pornography, so it would definetly be something to talk about. This isn't just porn. I agree that she's not married to him, so she shouldn't destroy his property in this particular case, because its an ex. I would just break it off. If he tried to argue with me and not instantly leave, I'd tell him I'm getting a restraining order. I just don't play when it comes to stuff like that. Guys have been able to get away with all kinds of stuff before with me, but not that kind of stuff. Link to comment
annalisa84 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 RE: 3. inconsiderate to her bf. I strongly disagree. Having ex-porn in your computer while in a committed long term relationship is inconsiderate to your SO, not getting rid of it. They were not like travelling pictures, holding hands and kissing - the OP said the pictures were about the "action". Link to comment
yumicecream Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 Dude this is NOT the same thing. If the girl was an ex who was at your brother's wedding, that is VERY different from naked pictures of an ex. I never snooped on my boyfriend's computers and I never would have deleted pictures of my boyfriend and his ex girlfriend. Why? Because I Trusted the guys I dated. If I had somehow found the things this OP found, t hough, you can bet it'd be over. Link to comment
Binoo Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 I normally wouldn't do something like this but I think it would be good for a larf if you were to perhaps add some colourful text to the photos..."I CAUGHT YOU!" et cetera, et cetera. Maybe some fun mustaches? Oh, and delete the originals. I doubt the doctored versions will strike his fancy quite so much. That'll scare him out of his wits! Link to comment
yumicecream Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 Why play games? Why scare him, why joke around with him, why fight with him? The guy isn't worth any emotional reaction for someone like me. It would just be over. Love isn't about these things, its bigger. Link to comment
annalisa84 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 I like Binoo's idee. But that involves staring at those ex pictures for quite a long time and I personally would feel sick after a while Link to comment
diamond78 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 While I don't necessarily agree with you taking the iniative to delete the pics...I would definitely confront him and WATCH him delete every single one of those pics... Now if you were married....then it'd still be confrontation time, but he'd watch ME delete them!!! And the whole asking you to see his ex use a vibrator is just all kinds of creepy!! Link to comment
yumicecream Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 I don't get why you girls would even bother with all this stuff? Just leave him! I don't get it. Link to comment
Maroney555 Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 I had a somewhat similar situation happen when my SO and I first moved in together. He had a BUNCH of pictures and a letter from his ex in one of his boxes of junk. I wanted to throw them out, but my best friend advised me against it. I asked him about it, he looked through them, reminisced for a minute, said he forgot about them and told me to throw them out. I still don't think I truly believe he forgot about them because it was on top in a box of computer stuff, but I chose to get over it because I love him more than anything and being with him mattered more to me. I think he also respected the fact that I didn't just throw them out the second I found them. My heart says delete them, but my brain says ask him about them and fess up to snooping. Yes, he will get mad for it and give you the "if you don't trust me, this will never work" talk, but I think in the back of his mind he will respect you for not just getting rid of them. It is truly possible he forgot about them. Link to comment
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