Help Me Out, Ladies!

[Blue_Soul]

Guys feel free to toss in your opinions too but I'd really like a woman's $.02 on this. Go to lunch everyday at a deli down the street from where I work. There is a cute girl there that I manage to strike up a conversation with. She always smiled at me in a way that made my think she liked what she saw when I came into the store. A few weels went by and I got my courage up and asked her if she'd join me for a drink after work and she said yes but was too busy that week to do anything. Fair enough. I asked her again the next week and she said the same thing but assured me that she'll go out with me when she has the time. I continue to go there for my lunch (I like the food!) and she doesn't really seem interested in talking to me at all. She's not at all unpleasant, just different. I'm not asking her again. I've been strung along many times before and refuse to let it happen again. I'm just wondering if she'll take me up on her offer when she has time or did she change her mind and doesn't want to deal with me.

[slider]

Ask her for her phone number and quit bothering her when she's working. Find another place to eat. Why? Because you're coming off as too desperate. When girls sense this, they run for the hills.

[laurag78]

Okay this is just a "maybe" because it's happened to me.

 

Sometimes being too nice and friendly can be perceived as flirting when it reallly isn't. It could be that she was just being friendly when smiling or talking to you and when you asked her out maybe she did not want to hurt your feelings by saying no, so she just made excuses and now is trying to avoid you. I think that you should try talking to her and asking her how she really feels, maybe that will clear things up a bit.

 

Suggestion: Tell her that if she won't go out with you that maybe she'd be interested in being your friend. The best of lovers start with friendship, if not there is always room for a new friend.

[Blue_Soul]

Yeah, it definitely hurts my feelings a lot less to be lead on for weeks and weeks. I've never asked a girl out and had her just say yes and have a nice time...and I'm 26!!!!! "You're too desparate...not aggressive enough...too nice...don't talk enough...talk too much..."

[GeeCee]

Goodness - surely this is too early in any 'relationship' to be playing games.

 

I would find somewhere else for lunch! Her loss!!

 

G xx

[laurag78]

Are u upset at my reply? You seem a little agitated. That's why i said maybe. I was just putting my $.02 cents in. I know that not everyone thinks alike, but it's happened to me.

I am a very friendly person and sometimes men take it the wrong way. I use to work at a Computer School and it use to happen to me all the time. If I smiled to much or if i had conversations, or was extra helpful by getting them in that class that was booked. They would take it the wrong way and assume that i was interested in them. Good thing I got a great excuse " I'm married". Now, if i were not married and i were interested in a guy and he did ask me out I would say yeah, where are we going, but that's just me.

 

The real best way is to just ask her, how she feels about you.

[rat_freak]

I would also suggest you lunch elsewhere or cut your visits in half. Also, don't bother the girl at work [especially when she's busy]. I hate it when people do that, even my friends. It may make her feel awkward with other people around when you ask her. Also, I have customers who shop where I work regularly and I'm happy to see most of them - and while being nice to them, I have absolutely no interest in them.