help me stay on track

[brit]

my ex is away until the end of april. i gave in once and rang and we had a great conversation. i know some important things are happening, but i don't want to call again. i had the opportunity to fly somewhere to see him but i'm not going to. i think it's best if i don't see him for a while. i'm still on a self-improvement plan as well. he is probably meeting tons of girls while he's away. i want him to get sick of that and miss me. is the next move his? to call? even when he's back? or...should i check in once a week so that he's still thinking about me?

[phil1981UK]

Err, if understand what you are saying, i think your attitude to this entire situation is completely wrong!

 

He's your ex, you must move on, stop thinking about getting him back and start getting on with your own life, dont contact him at all, just start living your own life, seeing other guys and enjoying yourself.

 

If he comes back sometime then fine, but dont wait for him, you'll destroy yourself!

 

Move on. Nuff said.

[brit]

isn't this a how to get back to together advice forum?

[Out to sea]

Hi Brit, indeed it is a 'getting back together forum', however, will that is a given , i think what Wayner said does hold water. If you just keep thinking about getting him back it will make things so much harder for you. Even if he was to want you back tomorrow, you have been hurt alot, and need to concentrate on getting yourself together emotionally first. The best way to win him back has alot more to do with improving yourself than any stratagies you can employ towards him, especially in the early stages.

I would go with no contact, try not to think about him as much as learning to enjoy improving yourself in all different aspects. Look at how you can become a better person, getting fit, taking up a hobby, meeting new people etc etc.

 

It is the best way to go, and when he is around again, he will see the changes in you, if that doesn't get his attention at that stage, then at least you will have made good changes in your life, you will have gained alot of strength from to experience and you will be in a better position.