Desperately Seeking Advice

[Shining Knight]

Alright, I'll try to be brief but give you everything you need to know.

 

My girlfriend (fiance to be really) and I had a bit of a slow part of our relationship. We were both stressed by classes and money and started focusing more on that then each other. We worked through it and I thought everything was ok. But through a shared friend I found out that she had been seeing someone else for the last month on the side. When I confronted her with it she initially denied it but then finally came clean and told me that she didn't mean for it to happen (I know cliche) it was just she thought I was wanting to break up so she felt out her feelings with this guy.

 

But what she didn't realize is I have chronic depression problems and am working through them. But that also I was going to give her a ring in about two months (our year and a half anniversary) She says she loves me and wants to be with me but that she thinks of this other guy too much to totally be true to me. She says she needs time to get him out of her system so she can be mine and mine alone.

 

Now I ask you, how long is too long to wait. While I do love her with all my heart should I realize that maybe she just isn't ready. She says she is but that she let it go too far with him to just cut the ties. So I ask you all... what's a hopeless romantic to do?

[kamurj]

Look man, I don't know what to say...

 

From what you said it sounds like she wants to move on to bigger better things, and perhaps you were temporary. I hope that's not the case.

 

Whatever happens man. It sounds like you love this girl and I fear you're going to get hurt in process...

 

She cheated on you dude!

 

You found out from someone else, and when you asked her if it was true, she lied!

 

Now she's uncertain????

Love sucks!

 

That's all I've got to say....

 

P.S. It's too bad professionals don't reply to these... Instead of people like myself who have problems of our own and are in no way qualified to give advice.

 

Best of luck buddy! I hope it work out for ya!

 

-Mike S

[kamurj]

"She says she loves me and wants to be with me but that she thinks of this other guy too much to totally be true to me. She says she needs time to get him out of her system so she can be mine and mine alone."

 

What a load of rubbish! Your girlfriend is playing the spoiled brat mate. Do you know how long some affairs last? Say twenty years. Put your parachute on and jump out of this plane cos it's about to crash.

[kamurj]

Dude, she has had another man inside of her while being with you.

 

Now she still can't get him off her mind.

 

Forget her, man. Better to be alone than have to live like that.

 

There's plenty of good women out there that won't do a man like that.

 

Rob

[smithdaniel]

Hey

 

Same situation I am in right now. In fact I just learned tonight of the sexual acts done behind my back! Am in so much pain it is hard to believe but you are not alone here and it helps to see support on this matter. She lived with me I support her and all that just as you do, we were together to 2 faithful years (so I think). Just waiting for her to get back to hear it from her mouth, to see what she says. I know from reading posts like this and from the support of my friends what I must do. God this is so messed up! Chat me up if you need someone to talk to who's going through the same crap Pardon my words, not worried about spelling or how its worded at this point.

[clg2t]

You sound like a to sweet of guy for a person like that!! Honey, you can do so much better, and you deserve better. She'll do it again. It's never a one time fling, there will always be another time and another after that. Think about this...do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a person that sought a different man?? The decision is yours.

[Thatgirl1607306436]

If you really love her then wait for her, but don't talk to her until she's ready to make a decision because then you'll just be the sucker (no offense). And that doesn't mean you can't go out and meet other people too!

Think of it as a long bachelor party before marriage, whatever you do, don't sit at home alone thinking about her and that guy! You'll drive yourself crazy. Good luck!!

[tiredofthelies]

Why are we are so stupid? Seriously... I recently got cheated on, and I still wanted to make things right too. The fact is, when a woman does this, she is not caring at all about how it will make us feel. Because, let's face it, we generally find out one way or another.

 

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be with someone so selfish.

[knightbear]

looks like a new girlfriend is needed at this time!!!!!!

[danygirl526]

I agree - lose her. Easier said than done I know. However, AFTER you caught her and she still showed no remorse means something. She's flat out telling you she's into someone else, other than you.