Porn stars and men

[mrmaximum]

There is nothing natural about porn, it is a movie being produced with prostitution ( being paid for sex). And yes i am thinking of this as a woman, as well as understanding what men get out of this.

 

If this where the case you wouldn't have made such a statement. For men, there is nothing natural about getting excited about erotica. Our minds are different, this seems to be the stumbling point for a lot of women. There are quite a few similarities between women and men, but we simply aren't the same creature with different plumbing. We are also very different in some key areas and how we receive sexual excitement is one of them. Guys tend to be visual, women tend to be more cerebral, intuitive.

 

Why don't you try seeing this in a woman's point of view,since you want me to understand men's point of view. Try stepping in woman's shoes for a minute. What you are saying is that it is perfectly natural for her boyfriend to look at, have fantasies of and jerk off to other women, and she should be fine with it and cheer him on.

 

This depends on the couple. There are quite a few posters here which I respect who would never date a man who watched porn and I can't say that I blame them for how they feel. However, there are also a lot of posters here who realize that a man looking at porn is nothing more than a guy using an aid for 'self loving' so to speak. It isn't about him jerking off to other women becasue he would rather sleep with them instead of his real life gf, he's jerking off to WHAT HE SEES IN FRONT OF HIM. That's it, nothing more.

 

Did you not hear me say that porn is not the problem, it is the amount which we agree on and the reasearching, and by the way, the fact that you condone the research say a lot about you. That is all good if you feel that is fine for your relationships, and i'm not trying to tell you that you should not, but for my friend, that is crossing the line. She has already told him this, he agreed and stated he would stop, only to do it again behind her back. This is the real problem. Nobody is attacking him for watching porn, only the betrayal of doing behind her back what he said he would not. She is also concerned about the AMOUNT of porn, not that he is watching it. Hell, she has even bought him some to watch with him, before it got out of hand.

 

Then why the questions about men and porn and the statements/comments to diabolik? If you understood like you said you did, then why all the general statements about the subject? I completely agree that your friends bf is VERY excessive in his habit and his betrayal is definetly unnacceptable. That needs to be addressed if the relationship is to survive in a healthy manner from now on, and I would even go as far as to say that your friend has been VERY understanding about this whole subject in the past. SHe does need to put her foot down as her good nature is being abused.

 

Please read more carefully and stop taking this post so personal. No one is attacking you for you habit of reasearching your favourite porn star. If you want to do that fine. She is not dating you, so you are not her concern, she is only concered about her boyfriend. To me, that is her being a good girlfriend. And she is not trying to control him, not once did she state he had to stop looking at porn, just tune it down and respect her wishes. It seems like being able to freely look at another woman's a$$ is more important to men than the person the say they love. Look how many posts there are on this issue on this board. Is porn really that important to men, and if so, why? You will never be able to sleep with the women in the porn, so why is looking at so many naked females have sex such a big deal to men?

 

 

The same reason why women like to read erotica and read romance novels. Men and women receive their sexual stimulation in different ways, plain and simple. THe issue at hand is that some women are looking at guys and saying that "well I don't need to look at porn so why should you?". This is comparing apples to oranges. Sure we will find some exceptions, my friend just broke up with a woman who had a larger porn collection that he did. She tended to be very visual and I could tell you things about her that would have your hair stand on end.

 

If this guy is willing to use porn even though his gf has told him this crosses some of her boundries, then he is showing her where his priorities lie. However, there are quite a few generalities in your final statement which some would find a little unfair. Anything taken to excess can damage a relationship, if your SO is warned about the dangers and they take no heed, one needs to then act accordingly.

[mrmaximum]

link removed

 

Although, given the behaviors of your friend's bf, he REALLY needs to step back and bit and realize that he is overstepping his gf's bounds and therefore putting the relationship at risk.

[Rabican]

Ill answer too even though you didnt ask me. No it would not bother me if my fiance looked up porn with a certain guy in it. As long as that wasnt replacing sex with me. Id still consider it fantasy no cheating. And if I watch videos of a certain chick, its because shes hot... and thats what I want to look at if I am getting off. If I wanted to look at ugly I would watch videos of contstruction workers. That doesnt mean Im a stalker... I just find certain looks more appealing than others.

 

Again Ill say that I think the line must be drawn between watching porn on occasion... and watching porn instead of living the rest of your life. Just like its fine to drink a beer with dinner now and then... sure could I be building a race car for 5 minutes instead of having that beer? Yeah, or I could be doing jumping jacks which is better for my health... but Ill have a beer. Is that tragic? No. But if I sit down and have 13 beers... every day, or 3 days a week or whatever... then yeah thatsa problem.

[Kantriakhor]

And if I watch videos of a certain chick, its because shes hot... and thats what I want to look at if I am getting off.

 

I'd rather look at my significant other but to each their own.

 

The issue with porn is that it needs to be communicated early in the relationship, may be a touchy subject but I find that the touchier the subject is the earlier it should be discussed because when (not if) difference come to a boil thins will be done that will be regretted by both parties and it's easier to just air it out early in the relationship and move on if the two parties can't compromise.