Communication in the beginning of a realtionship?

[Lauren8785]

Obviously communication is super important in all relationships and everything I know the importance of this and it doesn't need to be stressed here

 

I'm simply asking or wondering in the beginning of a realtionship is it NORMAL to not talk to your boyfriend for a few days??

 

Do you find it healthy for your realtionship??

 

See before I was in a realtionship, my family and I would always argue that when your in love you want to spend a lot of time with your partner. I told them even if I did have a boyfriend, I'd still want to do my own things and be by myself and make time for family and friends too. I don't constantly need to be with him or talk to him 24/7. My parents and sister whos in a realtionship have all told me, that its different when you love someone. Well now that I am in a realtionship I found that they were right I love spending time with my boyfriend and want to be with him all the time but I also believe and so does my boyfriend, that we both need our time for ourselfs, family, and friends which is true, you DON'T need to spend 24/7 all the time because eventually you'll get on each others nerves and start to fight more etc.

 

Then on the other hand when we don't talk for a couple days I feel lonely and think its something personal when it's not, he always reassures me that just because he doesn't call everyday doesn't mean I did something. We both work a lot and he does a lot of physical work and has some health issues so he's exhausted when he's done with work, so its understandable if he wants to rest and not want to talk on the phone and what not.

 

Also people have told me that its good we don't spend everyday together because when we haven't seen each other in a while, we will appreciate it more!!! Which is true and makes sense.

 

Then sometimes I get upset because we haven't seen each other in a few days, yet I don't know how couples who may have a spouce in Iraq do it where they don't see their partner for weeks, months, hell even years!!! And I'm sitting here thinking a few days is a big deal...pssh!! That ain't nothing compared to those folks who have their partners in Iraq I admire them because that would kill me I couldn't stand that!!!

 

Has anyone experienced this in their realtionships???? Thanks for your thoughts and comments!!

 

*Just a minor detail I forgot to mention* Is that I believe if you do talk everyday, you won't learn anything new because you already know everything, whereas if you haven't talked in a couple days, you'll have more to talk about and catch up on!!!!

[Knotty]

The longer you've been together than the more you should want to talk I'd think. If you both love each other then you are thinking of each other and it's only natural to want to talk or at least say hi everyday. Ideally, you would both have an understanding that talking for just a minute or two is good enough and you'll catch up another day. It's a problem if one person wants to talk on the phone for 30 minutes and the other wants to go do something else.

 

I agree it is sometimes good to save up the stories of what you did for two or three days, then you have more to catch up on. If you talk everyday, then you sometimes don't have anything to talk about.

[sweetooth]

Hey Lauren, I actually find myself thinking about the same things as your post. I am also in a new relationship but I have adjusted to my own independence from my last relationship where I was needy, desperate and insecure. Now that I have grown (single for 1.5 years) and regained my independence, I am afraid I have become TOO independent.

 

So I guess the key here is to find the right balance, and I'm sure over time and once you become a little more comfortable and trusting in a new relationship, you'll figure it out or just fall into a normal "pattern".

 

I do agree with you about the whole talking everyday. If you see each other or talk so much....And when you do get together, what do you talk about? Since I am not a phone person, I rarely speak on the phone with my boyfriend but we will still send each other a couple texts here and there.