He Loved Me One Day.. Then He Turned On Me The Next.

[Hard2Love]

Well me and my boyfriend broke up about a week ago and I am at that crying, can't eat, can't sleep stage. Everything I do and everything I say makes me think about him and all the good times we had. He was there to rescue me every single time I got myself into a pile of sh*t. I could call on him anytime of the day and trust that he would be there for me. This is the second time I've had my heart broken and despite how hard I to avoid getting too attached so that it wouldn't hurt so bad in the end, I am still in worst shape than ever. It feels like the first time all over again.

 

I don't know where things went so wrong, and thats why it hurts the most. If only I knew what I was doing wrong! He has this way of turning everything on me, and actually convincing met to believe I was to blame. Now, I can't stop calling his phone but I get a "F*ck off" everytime. I know I have to move on but how? I loved everything about him, his scent, the nerdy smile he'd give me when he would apologize for something, the way his body heat kept me so warm on those cold nights, and the way he loved it when I held onto him, he loved just knowing I was there. Now, he doesn't even care. I don't matter to him and he wishes I was dead. He wishes I didn't even exist, he regrets me.

 

This was the first man I ever truly loved, and felt loved by. This was the first man I could honestly say I imagined a future with. Now I have to let everything burn. I have to burn all the promises we made to each other, and the visions of us being married with children. It hurt's so bad.

 

I know you've all heard it before, and I know most have probbably been through it. If someone, anyone could just give me some advice on how they got better or how to begin to get better.. I'll take anything right now. Thanks in advance.

[JusticeLaw9]

The piece of advice I can offer is that time heals wounds. Judging from the style your post was written, it sounds like perhaps there could've been something on your end that caused the break. Don't want to make too many assumptions, but you just have to give yourself a chance to grieve and move on. It's going to hurt for quite sometime, but continue to hang in there.

[HumanBeing26]

Best advice I can give you is vent with people you know and don't call him, it's utterly pointless and you are just digging yourself deeper into something you will regret in the future. Just stop calling and drop it, there are around 1 billion men out there age 20-40/single, you can pick from and I bet my head that there are things waiting you around the corner. Don't beat yourself up, stuff happened that are beyond our control, we can only control ourselves or at least try to.

[Umlunguusa]

hrm...what exactly happened? does me have borderline personality disorder? my ex did...

 

link removed

[Hard2Love]

Thanks guys. I know there are others out there but I am honestly sick of men right about now. This break up has poisoned my mind a bit, and I am just hoping this is another "phase". The more guys try to approach me, the more it sickens me & makes me not want anything to do with them. Besides, I always compare them to my ex and they never match up.

[Hard2Love]

Umlunguusa, I basically caught him in a lie & I told him when he stopped lieing to me, I would be willing to work things out (he had a started a nasty habit of lieing about things I didn't understand he had to lie about, and if he lied about the little things, he would lie about the bigger things). Then I started to miss him and when I called to talk it out, he was a different person.

[Umlunguusa]

Thanks guys. I know there are others out there but I am honestly sick of men right about now. This break up has poisoned my mind a bit, and I am just hoping this is another "phase". The more guys try to approach me, the more it sickens me & makes me not want anything to do with them. Besides, I always compare them to my ex and they never match up.

 

I was in a similiar boat for the longest time. I was CONVINCED that my ex was the most beautiful girl on earth, the most loving, sweet, intelligent, etc. we had VERY much in common (she even liked Tibetan literature!)--only for me to be cheated on, and dumped and cut off completely (deleted, cut off from phone, etc) whereas two days before, she loved me with passion! turns out, she probably has Borderline personality disorder, so I got into that mess not knowing what I was going to receive.

 

It hurt SOOOO MUCH THOUGH!!! I never had so much pain in my life for almost 8 months!!! I'm still trying to get over it somewhat, as I now have trust issues with women, but I'm sure in the end...I'll prevail. I also feel disgusted by other women right now, because they always just want to use me, but I'm sure I'll find girl who makes me feel the way she did again--without the chaotic love you/hate you episodes.

 

and trust me, I was VERY, VERY upset...I thought I was in the worst mental pain on earth. but even the sun must go out someday, and everything must come to an end, including pain.

[eiffeltower]

Look, you sound like your going through a similar situation to mine. I caught my boyfriend of over two years in a few lies-- when I broke up with him over it he said he "would always love and care about me and if I ever needed anything he would be there." When he came to pick up his stuff and I informed him that I found out he lied about even more things-- he was the biggest jerk to me and was really disrespectful. This just reinforced my decision to end the relationship. Trust me, you are better off without someone who will lie to you and treat you like that. It's not worth it. I caught my BF in small lies about stupid things-- and eventually I caught him in bigger lies.

 

Some guys are good liars. My ex could look me straight in the eyes and lie without hesitating. He did it to his last girlfriend too. I know my ex loved me very much-- but he was very selfish. He showed it in his last relationship and I know he tried to change for me, but it never lasted. Selfish people DO love others-- but they still act selfishly. I know that I deserve better and I look forward to being happier with someone else.

 

It has been a little bit over a month now. I haven't called or texted. The first time I went out afterward I got hit on by a lot of guys-- and the next morning I nearly broke down and called because I didn't like any of them. But now I'm talking to a couple of guys and feeling much better because I'm going at a slower pace. Honestly, you have to allow yourself to heal before you can be with anyone else. You can't force it.

 

Just be patient with yourself, girl. It does get better. Be strong, know you did the right thing. There are better guys, but every guy who approaches you at a bar isn't going to be a great guy. You have to be open, but you still have to sift through some before you find the right one. If it were easy to find the right person and connect with people romantically than there wouldnt' be so many ppl who refuse to stay in bad relationships. I can tell you, from experience that it gets better. Just hang in there, spend time with your friends and family, explore hobbies and interests that you haven' thad time to before. You will emerge from this better and stronger.