i need some good advise

[lostchild]

ok ill try to make this short as possible my girlfriend broke up with me about 4 mouths ago cause "she didnt want a reltaionship" i loved her very much but respected her decision and i was doing the no contact thing for about 2 months then we started talking agian and she was calling me alot and said she was missing me and told friends of mine she wanted to get back together but i let it go and didnt say anything back. then the past week my dad died and she was on vacation and we talk everyday nothing about are relationship the yesterday she came over and spent the night with me. i would like to get her back but not out of guilt and if thats what she is doing i would rather not have her and have my heart broke again . what do you think i can do or ask to see whats going on so that doesnt happen agian. thank you

[KatieCutie0]

hey

im onli a novice so i dont know what i can do to help... but that doesnt mean i wont try tho... from what i can tell, i think she really likes you. you sed she started talking to you before your dad passed away... (my condolences ) so, its not like she is becoming closer again because he died, or at least thats what i think. i hope this helps... im not always the best with words... Good luck.

[Out to sea]

Hello, lostchild, I am truly sorry to read about your dad, this must be an impossible time for you.

I think that at the moment you have more than enough to try and deal with and you should avoid trying to work on the relationship side of your life while all the emotions of a death in the family are so high.

 

Surely the best way to see how she feels is with the benefit of time. Maybe you could tell her that at the moment you really need a friend, if she cares she will want to be there for you without putting pressure on you, you will get a chance to see how she acts towards this and can go from there. Give yourself a month or so anyways, believe me if she cares about you she will be more than happy to stick around as your friend.

 

Hope this helps...

[GeeCee]

Lostchild - firstly I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. This must be a very difficult time for you. I am happy that your ex has been giving you this emotional support - you need all you can get right now.

 

I agree with Francis Devane. This is not the time for you to be making any decisions about the state of your future relationship. You should be allowing yourself to grieve for your loss.

 

By all means, accept the emotional fulfillment that your ex provides you with, but take things very slowly and give yourself time.

 

Good luck.

 

G xx

[spatzcolumbo]

I'm sorry to hear about your father. I think that it is important to grieve for as long as you feel you need to. This is vital. However at the same time, it is important that you have the support of people around you, and this may include your ex. However, you should be very careful with the ex. This may sound harsh (and i apologise because it is NOT meant to) but you must make sure you do not confuse the 2 situations. Rely on your ex as a friend who can offer support over the death of your father, but try not to confuse things by anything developing further than that. This will only complicate things at a time when your head needs to be clear to ensure that you are able to cope with your feelings about your father.

 

If things are to develop once again with your ex, then it should happen very slowly, and not immediately.

 

Just my thoughts, i hope they are helpful.

 

Take Care,

 

Spatz