doing NC, but what do I do when I hear from her?

[Cen]

I've started doing the NC thing with my ex after we broke up about a month ago, Ironically 2 days into it we ran into each other at a very uncrowded bar and it was a little bit awkward, we smiled and waved at one another .. and I found out from her friend later on that she was sad & a bit bothered by it .. saying she was sad realizing she can't come up and hug me right now or anything (she was the dumper.)

 

We were extremely close friends for years leading up to our relationship, that lasted 2 years and we broke up unexpectedly for no good reason .. she is basically going through something in her life trying to find herself & rethink her career/going back to school. She did not leave me for anyone else, is not interested in dating anyone or even flirting when she is out, and says she cannot imagine her life without me - but also was feeling burnt out in a relationship. I wanted to stay together and work on things but she said she can't do it right now, so after a month of wanting to talk and figure out what was happening i'd decided to go with No contact.

 

My question is how am I supposed to act when I hear from her, I refuse now to be the one to make contact .. but I KNOW she will contact me at least within the next month - month & a half. I feel everything is so unresolved, and I'm going to be hoping things can get patched up but I have no Idea what I'm supposed to say whenever we talk again. I don't want to screw things up, What is best?

[Xplode]

wow... same story as me.

 

im 38 days into no contact, she broke up with me because needed to find herself.

and (mutal friends tell me) shes still sad.

 

i havnt heard from her. not 1ce since NC, she avoids going same clubs. and well... dont expect a call is all im saying...

 

maybe ur ex has more hear than mine

[nem69]

Well mine was similar but think it was a mixture of fear of commitment, hormones and me being away working.

 

I am still in there with a small amount of hope (but not much). I haven't heard much at all lately.

It is all down to what they really say when they contact you. If its only "hi, how are you" then you shouldn't really reply but if they start showing there is regret and hint at reconcilliation take it slow and feel your way. It's also a good idea to ask for help over their message on here. At least it will give you a consensus of opinion.

[Joshb]

Yea i am in same sort of position. We talked for few weeks after break up on and off. The relationship came to end, i didnt help, lot of my issues created the end matter. She was emotionally drained and tired of trying, and now wont take me back, sticking to her guns. I officially started NC a week ago, which initiated her calling me on her own for first time,(didnt answer) but did reply via email saying i cant be friends, maybe one day, we shouldnt talk unless u want to or open to working it out. wished the best.

few days later she replied back, saying shes hurt but will respect it. Then kinda got mad i didnt answer and said she needs to get over that habit, and wished me well, so....i dont know if ill hear from her. I dont know if i should eventually go to LC, or wait for her to reply(if ever). Its hard to really 100percent move on when in back of your head you still wish to make it work. I do hope she comes to her senses, and that if there are any...her buried true feelings will resurface, as time passes.. maybe not. Good luck