fantasia2004 Posted March 14, 2004 Share Posted March 14, 2004 Has anyone even though that person is dating someone else gotten back with their exes? Link to comment
luxe_13 Posted March 14, 2004 Share Posted March 14, 2004 I would like to hear opinions on this too. My ex too is seeing someone else. My belief is that anything is possible. My question on this matter would also be...how much should you leave up to fate, and how much should you work to get the one you want? Link to comment
Emmylu Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 Yes, it has happened to me several times. The guy leaves me, I don't care, and he comes back. If I try to get him back, it never happens. First, I don't believe you can make somebody love you, no matter what you do. To think that by doing certain things strategically, you can make someone feel a certain way, is kind of underestimating other people. They have their own mind, and you can't puppet them. Secondly, what I learned over time is that people are generally not moved by your love, however grand and selfless. People only care whether you've got the goods (looks, intelligence, wealth, personality). Like if you're buying a used car, don't you just pick the best car, or the one you like the most, instead of buying the one from whoever needs to sell their car the most. The best thing to do is continue to improve yourself. If you do, you can't lose. For me, guys always come back when they see that I'm happy and doing well without them. Link to comment
fantasia2004 Posted March 26, 2004 Author Share Posted March 26, 2004 I ask this question again and ask that you give opions of what you think or went through. I'm curious. Feel free to express we are one big happy family. See your posts later Link to comment
Stingseed Posted March 26, 2004 Share Posted March 26, 2004 I must agree with emmy. My ex broke eith me going on 7 weeks now. I have applied very minimal contact. She calls me about 2 to 3 times a week but I only answer once in a blue moon it seems to be working, but I have a friend that has done it with very minimal contact. So it is possible. Link to comment
kungfumaster Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 I would have to agree with Emmylu too - wow - I think that's basically it - people just want the goods, and the only thing you can do is just to improve yourself - well said!! I guess the tough part is - improving yourself continually - its a full time job I guess on top of your full time job Hi yaaaaah! Link to comment
kathyk Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 read kathyk. no contact for 9 weeks and he called me. he says he wants to get back together. we will see. Link to comment
Stingseed Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 yes Kathyk I was following your posts and i see that you ran into him not to long ago, then after those 9 weeks he contacts you very nice done. Most important is that they left and it only they who can decide to come back there may be alittle push or shove we can do but they must miss us first. Link to comment
Out to sea Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 Hi Fantasia2004, yes happened to me too last year, living with a girl for 2 1/2 yrs and next thing she broke up cause she said she liked this guy at work. After much begging and pleading I walked away with little of my pride left, months go by without any contact, then bang she walks over to me in the nightclub and wants to get back together, after month's without a word. Does happen all the time, but basicially I know she loved me, but got all confused and thought the grass was greener, she realised it wasn't after a while, but it did take month's for her to realise. Must admire her though for having the courage to admit she was wrong, as I had a new girl at that stage, it must have been really hard to do it!!! Chin up it does happen. Link to comment
SLBG Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 It's been 5 and half weeks since my girlfriend broke up with me. We were together for 5 years and got engaged on Christmas Day 2002. I've done the begging, emails and texts but she has been very cold 2wards me. 3 weeks into the break-up she txt a friend of mine telling them she had found a new boyfriend and didn't want to let him slip away. She said he made her laugh and treated her like a princess ???? She had only just met him ??? I was really confused, didn't no what to do. Then I started the NO CONTACT rule. I'm 2 and a half weeks into not contacting her, she has made no effort to contact me but I have not lost all hope. She has made so many changes in her life, moved out (Don't know where) and moving on. I want to believe that there is no time limit if you are in love. If she loves me but is confused and wants to see if the grass is greener on the other side should I stand in her way. Can I stand in her way ? NO Would I stand in her way ? NO I don't want to play games, its hard not being with her. We have been through so much, I have so many great memories & hope one day she will realize what she is doing. Its hard to no if they are missing you, or if they still care. I think It would be hard for her to come back as she has done so much. If she does return then it will be for the right reasons, not because she was pressured or begged. Probably posted in the wrong post, just reading what other have said feel a lil bit better. I'm not losing hope, but I'm not sitting about waiting for her return. Thanks everyone, gives us all hope Link to comment
dikaia880 Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 I was thinking about what has been said through this thread... It is true that you cannot make someone love you. One analogy used was the car sale..we don't buy from the neediest dealer but from the dealer with the best lot, the one that has the most to offer. What we CAN do, is increase of goods, put some wax on those cars, maybe install a new stereo or drop in a new engine...somethings are easier to change than others, but every little bit counts... You can't make someone fall for you, but you can increase your chances of that happening...not by being needy or playing games, but by making the most of yourself, by fullfilling what it is that the individual you desire wants... there is hope, but it takes work to get back the one you love, and even then it may not happen... Link to comment
GeeCee Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 But Dikaia - WE HAVE TO PLAY GAMES - in order to win our heart's desire it is a bloody important game - and we have to PLAY TO WIN! G xx Link to comment
dikaia880 Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 But GeeCee, can we please not calling playing games...that makes it sound so unimportant and insignificant as if its so easy... The challenge is being yourself, and being able to enhance those attractive qualities everyone already has and put them forward while pulling back the unattractive qualities...It's more work than play really, the playing comes after you work, i.e. "the fun stuff" This is something we should all be doing whether we have someone we desire or if there isn't...it's putting your best face and best foot forward...it will help in every aspect of life... Link to comment
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