Dealing with jealously and other negative feelings

[ATLstudent]

So me and my girl are together now, but i am at times being eaten up with this nervous stomach feeling, that i have always gotten, especially when the affection of a girl is involved. Its like i worry a ton, and negative thoughts keep popping in my head about the relationship. NOt that i am not into it or anything, i really really like this girl, its just my paranoid insecure side really takes over.....I need to tell her this.

[CallingAllAngels]

Why do you have to tell her this?

[jxl]

I had the same thing in my past relationship. I think it was becasue I really liked the girl and as soon as that happened I was worried about losing her. This gave me permanent butterflies and made me lose my appetite to the extent I couldn't eat around her properly for ages.

 

She thought this was weird and I kept makign excuses as to why I was like this. The more you bottle things up the greater your worries will become and in the end it'll all come out somehow, mentally or physically.

 

I don't know how long you've been going out but it's important to be honest with her. I wouldn't lay things on thick becasue it could be quite intense to hear this from someone in a new relationship but do give her a bit of insight into you. If she freaks out or can't deal with it then perhaps she's not right for you. Sit down calmly with her and go over it a bit. Don't be emotional or needy but just let her know a bit of how you are feeling. She may surprise you and not be fussed about it at all and that will maek you feel better.

 

Don't start pretending like everything is ok when it's not as your worries will grow. Be calm and strong and you'll come out the other side better for it

[top bloke]

When I was younger courtship was very exciting and yes butterflies were there but when that first great kiss came ..nerves all dissapeared..I suppose you get to a stage where you say well I havebeen here before andit didnt kill me..so relax..shes a woman ..not a snake..enjoy

[Breaking Away]

don't tell her - get it under control on your own- its not her problem that you are scared... get your head together and don't pay negative the thoughts any attention.

 

focus now- on getting your head straight- it can cause a lot of problems in a relationship.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

Try to manage your anxieties through a close friend, family member, or counselor before bringing this to your girlfriend. It's definitely good for you to express how you're feeling to her, but insecurity can often snowball and detroy the relationship.

 

Put your best foot forward with her, so to speak, while talking through your specific anxieties with others you trust, or even us!

[TENNFOLD1974]

I can relate.Lord knows at my age I've been through a lot of insecurities within my relationships.Don't let these insecurities overwhelm you,it will destroy your relationship.