COtuner Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 N o. He was looking directly at me. His eyes were sweeping up at my shoulders and then to my faace and when he realised I was looking at him he flicked his eyes elsewhere. All the while he had this intent, serious slightly hostile look on his face. I think he was thinking about me as he looked but what he was thinking i don't know. it unnerved me because we usually had such jolly conversations. Later that day he walked past me while i was talking to someone else. i said hi but he just launched in about a project meeting he was holding later that i had to go to. I went and sat about three feet from him and i don't think he looked at me once. this was all new to me. very out of character, but maybe hes just worried about schoolwork. That DEFINITELY sounds like what I've been talking about. I'm beginning to wonder if it's a face men make when they are fantasizing about us, LOL Link to comment
acinom Posted March 21, 2009 Author Share Posted March 21, 2009 I never thought of that. I normally dress very smartly to class and he has admired my dresses, blouses , suits etc. As it was a short day that day I decided to dress casual so I wore jeans and red and black striped top that exposed my shoulders and the straps of my black bra. I had deliberately worn it for effect hoping he would be there. Would a man have a fantasy in that situation, I don't know. When we had our project meeting later he didn't look at me at all and I was much nearer him. Link to comment
COtuner Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 It's possible. I'm seeing this a lot the past several years, and my last BF looked at me a lot like you are describing the day he decided to ask me out. I happened to catch him looking at me during a meeting before he could look away, and our gazes met. I smiled at him, he looked like he was hunting me for dinner or something. Could be as simple as the guy looking appreciatively at you and idly wondering what it would be like to touch you or something. I'd go ahead and ask him for coffee again, seriously. Can't hurt. Link to comment
Roberto34 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 It's possible. I'm seeing this a lot the past several years, and my last BF looked at me a lot like you are describing the day he decided to ask me out. I happened to catch him looking at me during a meeting before he could look away, and our gazes met. I smiled at him, he looked like he was hunting me for dinner or something. Could be as simple as the guy looking appreciatively at you and idly wondering what it would be like to touch you or something. I'd go ahead and ask him for coffee again, seriously. Can't hurt. Well I know for me, this girl I like. I'd catch her looking at me, and lately I've just had that blank stare "whatever" face going on. For me, it's because I'm so mad at myself for not being able to just approach her. All the while I'm wondering how long she'll put up with me and my lack of action, who else is pursuing her, etc., etc. So the angry look wasn't intended for her at all, it was just reflecting my own thoughts, etc. about myself on my face. Now that she stopped looking, I get this look even more when I see her because I'm completely pissed off with myself, and how I blew it with her. Just hope I explained a little bit as to at least why this guy would have that look on his face. Link to comment
acinom Posted March 22, 2009 Author Share Posted March 22, 2009 Your message reminds me of Annie Hall when you can hear Woody Allen and Diane Keaton beat each themselves up inside their own heads for what they are saying while the other person is so busy beating themselves up that they don't even judge what theo ther peron is saying. When he looked at me like that I thought he was angry that I hadn't dragged him out for lunch and I felt that I had ruined my chances with him. When I said hello later and he said I should go to the project meeting he still seemed angry and it made me want to withdraw away in embarassment at ever thinking I had a hope iwth him. Maybe that's how your girl feels. Link to comment
Roberto34 Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Your message reminds me of Annie Hall when you can hear Woody Allen and Diane Keaton beat each themselves up inside their own heads for what they are saying while the other person is so busy beating themselves up that they don't even judge what theo ther peron is saying. When he looked at me like that I thought he was angry that I hadn't dragged him out for lunch and I felt that I had ruined my chances with him. When I said hello later and he said I should go to the project meeting he still seemed angry and it made me want to withdraw away in embarassment at ever thinking I had a hope iwth him. Maybe that's how your girl feels. If you're responding to my advice, I appreciate it. I didn't think of it like that...that is a possibility. I think you're guy could be feeling the same way that I am, but I'm not sure only because I'm not him. See, I beat myself up because I can't do what I truly want to do. What I truly think and feel, I can't express. It's possible that's what he's feeling as well...thus mine and his "angry face." It's not directed/intended at you ladies, but just a reflection of our inner thoughts about ourselves, and it gets worn on our faces. I hope that helped a little more. Thanks again, and best of luck. Maybe you could help him along? Maybe you could ask him out? Link to comment
acinom Posted March 23, 2009 Author Share Posted March 23, 2009 Well Roberto, today he called after me in the corridor as I went to my office and asked me about my weekend. Then fifteen minutes later he sent me a funny email. Then ten minutes later he rang me about work and asked me when I was free for coffee. We had coffee later and he lost track of time and said he would talk to me later in the week. I'm not sure if hes interested but certainly we seem to be friends. If you're situation is similar take heart. Link to comment
Roberto34 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Well I'm glad that it's back in the positive for you! At least you're back talking, having coffee, etc. Maybe he doesn't know how you feel?? How many times have you 2 gone out for the coffee, etc.?? Maybe you could hint to him that you're looking for more, depending on how long it's been? Oh, and today I finally reapproached her and talked with her. She looked up and smiled as soon as I said her name. That was nice...but I was all red and nervous, but hid my nervousness. I just couldn't hide the red face. I felt it, but not sure if it showed, I'm sure it did, haha. I decided that I wasn't gonna let it go on any longer with the lack of action from me, etc. We'll see how she repsonds tomorrow. Maybe she'll start looking again now, but maybe not. Hopefully I didn't blow it, and she's just "whatever" with me. If not, I just have to keep it up, so that I'm consistent. I don't want to be some inconsistent weirdo to her. Link to comment
COtuner Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 YAYYYY for both of you! I can live vicariously though you for the moment Link to comment
jcoven02 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 How long has this flirting been going on? If it has gone on a long time and not gone anywhere beyond just flirting, he has probably decided you've been leading him on and is now pulling away. You can always salvage things of course. Just send some stronger signals, or make the next move yourself. EDIT: looking through the rest of the post I see you already have salvaged things, lol. Link to comment
acinom Posted April 5, 2009 Author Share Posted April 5, 2009 Well we are getting along well and there is alot more flirting. He now tends to ring me up in my desk in my dept. I'm off on my easter this week and he rang me as I was leaving to wish me a nice time and to call in for coffee if I was about. He is`definitely cultivating me as a friend. He even said he must look out for his pal. It is hard to judge beyond that. I have caught him checking me out. I think he might be interested but doesn't know where I stand and is worried because we would still be in the same department if things didn't work out. Link to comment
acinom Posted April 6, 2009 Author Share Posted April 6, 2009 Well I have no plans to go near campus during my break. I have no reason to be there. So if I took him up on his coffee offer I would have to go in especially which was not in the spirit of the casual offer. I think it would make me look a bit too desperate and I would feel foolish. If he is interested he will ask again. Let's be honest, even if he isn't interested he will ask again. Link to comment
COtuner Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Yah, I know how you feel. I overdo it sometimes with my crush where all is going good and then I go one step too far and then feel awkward. Good move to stay away. Link to comment
acinom Posted April 6, 2009 Author Share Posted April 6, 2009 That's exactly what I always do. I also take things too literally. For example if someone says something throwaway I take it to be fact. I mean this guy has tols me I'm very good looking but so have alot of guys and where are they now? That's what guys say. The thing about me usually is that I rarely feel attracted to guys so when I fall I fall like a ton of bricks. THen I cause myself such pain. This guy is different. I like him well enough to say yes if he asked me out but if he doesn't I won't be devastated. Maybe I'm growing up? At first I thought this lack of very strong feeling was a bad sigb but then I considered the guys who broke my heart and when the dust settled I realised that they weren't the nicestbunch of people so I should give this guy a chance, that's if he wants it. Link to comment
COtuner Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Me too. Rarely falling for guys, that is. You've probably learned to hold yourself back a bit, just in case, so you're trying to have a clear head around this guy. Hang in there - I'm rooting for you Link to comment
acinom Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 Thanks. I have absolutely no confidence in my taste in men. The men I fell for turned out to be smart but weak. I'm hoping this guy has more substance. Link to comment
acinom Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 Well I didn't go in to college this week. I did email him about our project and added a little enjoy easter at the end as I would do that for anyone. He replied with a typically short, will do. I have one more week of break and there will be no more contact from me. I wonder will he try and contact me on my first day back on campus which will be a very busy day for him. I wont be making any moves. Link to comment
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