tell my why i cant keep a girl!

[apex]

i'm a "nice guy", i'm sexually adequate, attractive, smart, very funny. but every relationship i have lasts a few months at most.. what is it about my personality that gets me played?

 

my girl just left me last weekend. this time it wasnt her that bothered me. i actually feel sorry for her. she's a very stupid insecure girl (i'm not just being mean cause im petty, it's the truth). the guy she left me for, is gonna use her right up. but then again.. maybe she has it coming

 

the fact that my love life is going nowhere is what bothers me.

[AXYSSALLY]

How old are you? how many relationships have you been in? All of these factor into it. I think many people, when they are young, go through quite a few relationships that dont last for more than a few months. I went through 5 before I met my husband. It doesnt always mean theres something wrong with you. I guess you could look at it as being lucky...some people get stuck in relationships that do last a long time before they find out the other person isnt the right one. Dont give up hope yet.

[apex]

i've been with 12 girls and im 22. i felt like it's a small number until i typed it out. i really always have the feeling that i'm the one blowing it all the time.

 

i get that infatuation from them for a few weeks to a month, and then it's like they lose interest.

[Xandra]

The infatuation could be what keeps messing up your relationships, to be honest.

 

I can say from personal experience, that if a guy seems "too interested" in the beginning, and if there is a lack of mystery or some essense of a challenge, it's probably not something I'll be intrigued enough to pursue. Also, I'm around your age and I find that a lot of guys your age talk too much about themselves and about SEX in particular when you go on dates with them. That's something I've NEVER been able to get used to, until I met my current boyfriend who is on the same level intellectually as I am, we share a connection mentally and are genuinely interested in what the other person has to say.

 

It's good in the beginning to keep her guessing, don't pay ALL of your attention to her. If she feels like you're too nice or that she can "walk all over you", then sorry to tell you, but she probably will. Take things slow, be friends and call her once in a while. She'll have more time to think about you.

 

Be friendly, joke around, and pay attention to what she has to say. Try to avoid talking about sex until you're comfortable enough to do so and feel that she is also. Don't EVER bad-mouth ex-girlfriends or other people around her. For me, these are the things that will turn me off immediately and make me re-evaluate the guy I am with:

 

- Bad-mouthing ex-girlfriends.

 

- Constantly making lewd, unneccessarily rude comments about others.

 

- Non-stop talking about yourself.

 

- Overly talking about sex.

 

- Sexual comments about me.

 

- Too many compliments - makes you seem insincere.

 

- Confessing too much, too soon.

 

- Talking about your problems.

 

- Mentioning how you love being single, making regular comments about other girls (their appearance, eg."oh MAN she's hot!"). A good example is, "I have NO desire to settle down or commit, etc.". Believe it or not, even guys who like you will say that sometimes.

 

- Bad manners

 

- Being rude to waitresses, clerks, etc.

 

- Yelling or swearing when it's not necessary.

 

These are some of the things that even if I don't see them right away, will totally turn me off of a guy to the point that I just won't want to talk to him anymore.

[apex]

i know i left my post too open.. but you couldn't have been more wrong! so wrong it's frustrating! i unitentionally do none of the things you listed.

 

i took it slow, but not too slow. i did everthing right, i know i did. but i'm still baffled. all well. i'm already over it and in a good mood. i realized what i gained from this relationship.

 

resolve.

[icut]

to Xandra inspiring to me thanks for posting on this subject