Sev Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 ...has anyone ever had someone leave you for someone else and they seem totally in love and not a care in the world. Do they ever regret it, even when they seem 150% happier in there new life? Im just wondering as my ex left me for a guy she used to cheat on her ex with 5 years ago.... she now seems totally happy to of thrown me on the trash heap and forgotten totally about our old life together. Im getting over it and dont think much of it now but i do have a nagging feeling in my head that i just want it to all go wrong for her and for her to beg for me back even if i dont want her! I know its a bit sadistic but hell she hurt me enough! My question is, how often do these things go wrong when they seemed totally happy etc? Link to comment
lana111 Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 i dunno, everyone is different. i left my ex of 6 1/2 years for a guy and weve been together for 1 1/2 years and everything is great. but it def doesnt work like that always... Link to comment
littleladyluck Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Honestly, it's only the people who are insecure and confused who do that. I would count your lucky stars that she left you, you seem like a nice guy and you can do way better then that. I guess it's a learning curve though, as harsh as that may sound. Don't worry, to a lot of people that sounds really immature and mean. Link to comment
huskiesfan Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 When my ex left me, she had the best of both worlds. She was getting closer to the guy she left me for (They ended up confessing their feelings for each other a couple of weeks after we broke up), and she still had me, begging and pleading for her to come back. All I would ever see on her facebook (I havent talked to her in person since the breakup) was about how in love she was, and how she was so happy, and she would constantly find ways to keep reminding me about that. And then...I deleted her from my facebook and started ignoring her, and things went downhill for her from there. The guy ended up telling her he didn't have feelings for her anymore, and when she came sniffing around me, I went along with it at first, and then came to my sense and let her know in no uncertain terms I was having none of it. Long story short, don't worry about what she's doing, or who's she with. I believe that karma has a way of evening out the playing field, meaning she's going to be up at first, but she'll come back down eventually, as you're on your way up. She's probably happy right now, but part of it may be a facade too, to rub it in your face. She'll likely be wanting to pick you up off the "trash heap" once her new relationship goes off the tracks. Link to comment
dreamwarrior Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Guess it depends on the person, the situation, and circumstances of the relationship. I would always have good reason to break up with someone and it wasn't because of someone else. I think perhaps in some cases there are already factors leading up to the person leaving and finding someone or they were never really that attached in the first place. All my relationships have been long term and the breakups were due to many things I didn't like and then I would say to them face to face it's over...I have never been one to play head games with a guy...I don't work like that...I am straight forward to the point and that is that! Now if he didn't understand proper English and want to continue to pursue me after I had already moved on then that is not my problem. I also believe people are afraid to let go of the other person in case the other relationship falls through....it's like always having a warm safe home to come to when it's cold outside and your hungry...they feel secure with the person they left and when things get hard they run home. And, then there are others who are just cowards. Is it fair to the hurting party? "NO" and that is why people need to take control of their lives and stand their ground and say, "no, I am not going to accept your bread crumbs and "no" I am not going to be the floormat to wipe your feet". Hard as this is we are in control of our own lives and it you feel inside your not being treated well, then you must be the one to walk away and don't look back...will it hurt? Yes, most definite, but whats more important? This person or you! Link to comment
peace_lily Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 ...has anyone ever had someone leave you for someone else and they seem totally in love and not a care in the world. Im getting over it and dont think much of it now but i do have a nagging feeling in my head that i just want it to all go wrong for her and for her to beg for me back even if i dont want her! I know its a bit sadistic but hell she hurt me enough! My question is, how often do these things go wrong when they seemed totally happy etc? Yes, I feel pretty much exactly this way. I felt like a used condom that he threw out on the street, and on better days like a used kleenex. But I don't know how he is because we no longer have any mutual friends and I literally don't hear or see anything about him unless I am weak and check his facebook (which he never posts on anyhow). I just assume he's happy because he always acted that way, smiling and whistling as he came up the stairs up to the very day before he told me he didn't want me anymore. But I know he feels guilty and some days I want to rub it in his face how bad he made me feel just so he will feel worse. But I don't. This is the difference between mature and immature people, so says my friend. Everyone has these impulses, but only immature people act on them. I try to remember this and keep my dignity as my solace. It's not much and right now it doesn't help. But sometimes it does. I hope it goes totally totally wrong for him and he begs for me back and I get to say no. I will be kinder and gentler with my no than he was. I want to show him that I am awesome and that he is a fool for treating me the way he did. Link to comment
uofagirl Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 My husband left me for someone else while we were dating. I guess you can say he found out the grass wasn't green on the other side and he came back. But eh, everyone is different. Link to comment
peace_lily Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 The guy ended up telling her he didn't have feelings for her anymore. Thank you, thank you for your post! I can honestly tell you that it never occurred to me that this could happen. I just assumed because I loved him so much that anyone who would be attracted to him would never want to give him up either. I can see this doesn't make much sense at all actually. I don't want her to hurt him, and yet I would be thrilled if he got a taste of his own medicine. It never occurred to me that she might actually be the one to do it. Somehow this gives me hope for the universe and the world and stuff. Link to comment
pushforward Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I'm in the same position you're in. Here are the answers I came up with. It doesn't matter if or when she'll ever regret what she did. Her choices reflect what she thinks is going to make her happy and although it hurt me, it doesn't reflect who I am as a person, only her. There are days I wish she would care about what she did, indirectly letting me know, she did care about me, but those are irrational thoughts. The part that loves her, is still fighting for her, but I'm learning to let go slowly. I've learned plenty about myself and life from this. I honestly don't really care about if she will ever regret it because that's how choose to live life and I'll choose not to dwell on what she's done. I will continue to work through whatever pain and accept it. Grow and change for the better. In time, you will find out, this is the best thing that could ever happen to you, you get to find out, it wasn't true love and you get to go out there and find love again. This may be the best decision she's ever made in her life, or the biggest mistake, as for you, it will only be for the better, if and only if you learn from this. Focus on your happiness, life will fall in place after that. Who knows what the future holds, but her regret or happiness shouldn't matter at all. You come first and know in your heart, you deserve the best. Link to comment
CreoUCLA Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 ...let them go. Hardest thing I ever had to do (at the time), but you'll be a better person for it. Plus, I'm having more fun these days on my own terms. -Mike- Link to comment
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