What you had and what you lost

[ijuly13]

Ok so like exactly a year ago I was dating my best friend from high school for about two years. We had the best relationship together... he knew what a crappy childhood I had and did everything in his power to make my life better and open up doors for me. And he did. And I made him happy and was a great first girlfriend. I loved him with all my heart and even though there were problems there were also great times and memories. Well I turned 20 and all of a suden I wanted to move out and switch jobs and my attitude towards education shifted. So we moved out and got a dog and all this furniture together and in one I decided I didnt want it. SO I broke up with him. And he sort of moved out. One day he came home and found me and his classmate watching a movie and got pissed and tried to start a fight with him and then left. Since then we ran into each other a couple of times and hung out. Twice we discussed getting back together but I was still into the new guy who was practically living with me at the time. Then about five months after the break up I wanted him back with all my heart....turns out I was manic depressive and one of my chemical shifts lead me to break up with him. After that five months he said the bond was broken and cried and said that we couldnt be back together. Then we spent the whole summer hooking up and then denying it ever happened till he left for Greece. Then he came back with a new girl and was really mean and hateful towards me. He still made out with me though given the chance. I stayed with my new boyfriend out of lack of anything else to do and forced myself to not think of my ex. But still to this day which has been a year from when teh relationship ended I still love him and wish to be with him again. I realize that the relationship had problems but I am willing to work on that. I dont know how to act around him anymore. I still see him around my mutual friends and freeze up around him. I need advice, tell me what to do if I should still try and see him or how I can move on..... Thanks

[raggamuffin]

I know that every one deserves a second chance but maybe you hurt him too much and he doesnt want to be hurt again. So maybe you should think of him and what is the kindest thing to do for him. Not what you want. I know that if my ex ever wanted me back I never ever would have gone back to him because although I am willing to fall in love with him I wasnt willing to be hurt by him when I had tried so hard and moving on without him in my life. Although you want to be with him so if you do why dont you tell him this, tell him that you would do anything to make up for what happened and to make the relationship better. If he says he is not interested then move on, for his sake and yours.

[cutiepie20]

wow, I am so sorry to hear what u are going through. I am going through somewhat the same situation. I think that it would beneficial for you to tell him exactly how you feel. It is not going to help you move on if you are always wondering what COULD have been between you two. This was you'll know for sure and then you'll know what direction to move your life forward in. For some reason I think he really does care about you, and the fact that he was mean to you and showed up with his new girlfriend.. might be a sign that he is trying to hurt you just as much as you hurt him. You must have really hut him, especially if he really loved you, which it sounds like he does. Sometimes...people decide not to be together, not because they dont love each other, but because they are afraid of what might happen if they lose each other. Right now it sounds like you are staying with what it safe and so is he. I think you should definatly try to contact him and at least let him know how you feel. If you shared such a special love you wont let it go without trying first. Good luck and I wish you the best sweetie.

Cutiepie20

pm me and let me know what happens!