How can I tell him?

[Esprit]

Oi! Thanks for reading. Alright, for the record I'm in grade 10. Now there's this lad at school who I really like, and have for a while. I've never spoken to him, but he knows I exist because we have a class together. I've decided I'm going to tell him how I feel. The problem is I'm extremely nervous when it comes to guys. I'd really like to walk up to him and tell him...but I don't think I can. I've thought about writing a letter but I'm not sure about that either. I guess if I want to get anywhere I'll have to take a chance and just go for it...but I'm such a wuss! Help? Any advice is great. Thanks.

 

-'Sprit

[Beec]

First, DO NOT TELL HIM. You do however need to talk to him.

 

How to talk to him? To start with just make sure you run by him and say hi (his name), look at his eyes and give a slight closed mouth smile, then look down to break eye contact. Say nothing more, walk away., look back once.

 

Do it again if you can in a few days or a week or so. He will be getting the message to come talk to you.

 

You should also try to get some info on him, figure out what he likes. What intersts him? Sports? Which ones and what teams/players? Music? What kind and waht artists? Then learn a little about those things, so when you get a chance to talk to him, ask him intelligent questions about these things. You want him to talk about himself, not you saying anything to him about you, unless he asks. When he asks don't say yes or no give answers in full sentences, but stop after a minute.

 

That should work.

[Ladee-Jennifer]

Beec is right dont tell him.....yET. get to know him talk to him.also let him get to know what a wonderful person u are b cuz after u noe each other better its easier for him and you to start a ralationship. you'll both noe each other. PlUs Its easier for you to commmunicate b cuz you'll know what to talk about. GoOd LuCK.

--------------------------------------------------------

"I thought i had him all figured out

but, i learned there was more to him"

[Esprit]

Thank you for the replies! I guess I have to say I agree, everything would be easier if we got to know eachother. But just telling him is kind of a back up plan, because I'm way to nervous to just walk up and get to know him. I wish I wasn't so shy. I guess theres no easy way out.

[Beec]

Esprit,

 

If you go through that little say hi, eye contact, look down, leave and look back routine more than twice, he will be itching to talk to you. Try it. It works.

[elusivejc]

Basically I write this because beec's suggestions, although valid for some, will not work on others, and I'd like to diversify the methods of females of the world, to give shy little wusses like me a chance...!

 

Glimpse at the male brain for you: (at least my male brain)

 

say hi (his name), look at his eyes and give a slight closed mouth smile, then look down to break eye contact. Say nothing more, walk away., look back once.

 

As a shy clueless male I'd never even notice that gesture. I'd see it and think 'nah I must be kidding myself'. If I saw it again I'd look twice. A third time I'd be bashing myself on the head for a less subtle hint so I wouldn't have to doubt my stunted instincts. And I'd never make any sort of a move if there was even an inkling of doubt in what I'd just interpreted. Of course what it would take to make me make the first move I don't even know...!

Having said that if someone I barely knew came up to me and bluntly told me they liked me I'd probably hesitate, say thanks, and walk away and wonder what the hell just happened. (Mabe slap my own face if it deserved it)

 

Get to know him on the most basic level first and work from there without pushing the boundaries too hard. Try as hard as possible to feel normal and not shy, then you might just act normal enough to give a sensible impression. If he already likes you he won't care what you say, but if you're selling you're case then it's a different story.

 

If you're *really* shy them pm me, I want to meet other shy people and try to figure out the solution.

 

 

T.E.J.C

[forumjunkie]

this guy elusivejc is right. The other advice is ridculous. silly games about little smiles and eye contact is pathetic please don't live your life like that you will grow up into an awful awful person. You're 15 for christs sake go and talk to the boy be shy and nervous it's ok it's going to continue to happen your entire life. Sometimes you'll be nervous other times not. Go talk to him because also you gonna need plenty of practice for the future. Go and talk to him and be prepared for everything to go completely and utterly wrong Yes I'm sorry you may come away looking stupid but then what the hell? who cares it's going to happen a lot and at some point you'll look back and be glad that you did it because you got it out the way when you so young. There is no shame in being shy or nervous it's another part of the social spectrum just as important as being confident or being nice this goes for elusivejc as well.