Ashes and Angel Wings

[FireInHeaven]

I've been wanting to start one of these. Just now I came up with a kickass title... but have nothing to write about at the moment. My inspirational switch needs flipped.

[FireInHeaven]

Earlier I said I didn't know what to talk write about today... But, I watched Bowling For Columbine earlier this week, since watching it, I've been remembering that incident. I don't live in Colerado, or anywhere near there. So it didn't affect me directly.

 

But, sadly, and strangely, if affected me and others like me in indirect ways. I live in a podunk town in the Bible Belt. I was out of high school one year and a freshman in college. I was a Goth kid. And I proudly sported a long black coat. It was not a trench coat, not technically. It was kind of like the coat worn by Neo in the Matrix, but very girly. This was definitely a feminine cut, women's coat. But it was beautiful and I looked good in it, and, it kept me warm.

 

When the events at Columbine high school happened, my Mom told me I probably shouldn't wear my coat anymore. I told her I owned that coat long before that happened and if people want to be stupid and judgmental that's their fault, not mine. Why should I have to change the way I dress because two kids on the other side of the country went on a rampage?

 

A week later I was politely asked for an interview by a reporter from the College newspaper. I did the interview. But I really was surprised how much of it was focused on the shooting. They basically wanted my opinion on what happened because of my coat. "Do you agree with what those kids did?" "Do you think Marilyn Manson had something to do with it?" "Does the Goth subculture advocate this kind of behavior?" All no's, of course. The reporter was actually pretty surprised to find out I don't listen to Manson. She said "But I thought Manson was a God to people like you?"

 

In my English class a debate erupted that ended in me lowering my head and trying to choke back tears. I pointed out in this debate that I was picked on in high school and while I don't condone their actions I can certainly see how that kind of rage could build up in a person. None of the students in the room understood where I was coming from. One girl said "We all were picked on in high school, that's part of growing up. Of course you would sympathize." The professor felt really bad that it came to that and talked to me for quite a while after class. He could see where I was coming from, at leat.

 

I was approached by a guy in the student lounge who started asking me all these questions about if Goths are really neo-Nazis. And when I told him no, of course his argument was "Well what about those two kids in Colorado? They were Neo Nazis right?"

 

I was asked to give a talk to one of the Sociology classes where the students expressed an interest in the negative influence of Subcultures. I declined.

 

I had to go to the Library (not the college Library, the town library) to get a book for a term paper I was writing. It was kind of warm in there so I took my coat off and laid it on a table. People were staring and whispering anyway... So I went and checked out the book, went back to get my coat, and there was a book about handguns laying right on top of it. I left the library, and when I went out the front door there was a cop car parked there and two cops standing next to it. "How are you today Miss?" one of them asked. "Fine." I said. and kept walking "Is everything allright." he said. "Everything's fine." I said and kept walking.

 

There's a grocery store right next to the Library. I went in there to pick up some stuff. There was a group of teenage girls in there and when I walked by one of them yelled "Hey! Are you in the Trench Coat Mafia?" And they all laughed hysterically. I said "Grow up." and kept on walking.

 

This only lasted a few weeks. Then everyone was stuck on something else. I don't even remember what. I knew other people at the time who wore long black coats who had similar experiences. People are just so funny.

[FireInHeaven]

Just had to post this... Two seconds after I finished writing the above post, Marilyn Manson kicked on. I have a few thousand songs on my iTunes, and there's only three or four by him. So I just had to mention the irony there.

[FireInHeaven]

I think I created a Monster, lol.

 

I was talking to a friend of mine a week or so ago. We were talking about how cold it's been here lately. And he said "Where's this global warming we've been hearing about for ten years?" I told him the big thing now is Global cooling. I said he should go google it if he didn't believe me. Well, apparently he did and in his searching he also came upon a lot of stuff about 2012. Now he's convinced the end is upon us and that's all he can talk about.

[FireInHeaven]

Disclaimer... This is a completely insignigent blurb. But in my slap happy fatigue I still feel the need to write it.

 

Saturday night, I went to one of my favorite clubs to see one of my favorite local bands play. Some of my friends and I were standing out of the patio. They were smoking. I don't smoke, so I was just out there hanging out. And there was this guy with two full sleeves of tattoos. I commented on his tatts and we started BSing. He told me his name was Malachai. I don't know if that's his real name. At a lot of the clubs I go to people introduce themselves in alias a lot. It's not uncommon to meet someone who goes by something like Vandar the Death Dealer, lol.

 

When I was a kid (fourteen-ish) there was a band in my town called Malachai. I gladly announced my fandom of these guys to everyone I met who was interested. Even though in reality I'd never heard them play. All their shows were at places I was too young to get into. But I was a fan because I had a mad (and probably inapropriate) crush on the 20 year old drummer. He was a friend of my older half sister and that's how I knew him. Man was he hot...

 

Also at around that age I saw the movie Children of the Corn. Which at the time scared the crap out of me because I grew up in the stix surrounded on three sides by cornfields and on the fourth side by woods. Well, for anyone who hasn't seen it, one of the main villans is named Malachai.

 

When I first saw COTC and learned that character's name, I think "Wow, he has the same name as that band!" And then when this guy on Saturday night said his name I thought "Wow, same name as that band and the killer from that movie!"

 

Growing up with Catholic(ish) parents who made me go to church and read the Bible all those years... It never even occurred to me until I was in my mid twenties that the name Malachai appears in the Bible. It's the name of a profit who was signifigent enough to be given a whole book of the bible. It's the last book of the old testament.

 

So my (kind of) point is... I guess it's not really the things our parents shove down our throats that we remember or that have an impact. It's the things that really spark some feeling. Like a horny 14 year old crush on a hot drummer and a good scary movie.

[FireInHeaven]

Oh... and an afterthought to that last entry. The hot 20 year old drummer now owns a pet store here in town. I shop there regularly. He's not so hot anymore. With his thinning hair, beer gut and three screaming kids.