JesseMac Posted February 24, 2004 Share Posted February 24, 2004 Its been a month since me and my girlfriend broke up. I talked to her online last sunday and asked her if she would want to hangout just as friends because it been awhile. She said "that sounds like a lot of fun but I have a lot of homework and I am feeling a little under the weather, but maybe another day!" My friend recently asked her if she still thinks about me and she said "yea i do, he was a big par of my life." She has never wanted to be friends with any of her ex's before, but she wants to be friends with me, she has said to me she doesnt want to lead me on but doesnt want to push me away. Do you think that her wanting to be friends is a sign that she wants to get back together and that by her still thinking of me? What should I do about hanging out with her? Do I ask her again or do I wait for her to ask me? Link to comment
woopsydaisy Posted February 24, 2004 Share Posted February 24, 2004 Hi just read your post...its defienetly positive she is happy for you to hang around together....but i would take it one step at a time..remember you are just friends for the time been.I would just try and play it cool and let her initiate the next contact about going out etc.Next time you see her just try not to blert out all your emotions for her take it a step at a time.Its looking positive so far my friend. Link to comment
OK1 Posted February 24, 2004 Share Posted February 24, 2004 Hey its a good thing she enjoys bein with you!!!! Now let her contact you... now about how to act, read steps 2 and 3.. link removed Hope it works out!!!! OK1 Link to comment
neallo82288 Posted February 24, 2004 Share Posted February 24, 2004 If you still want to be with her, then you need to be away from her. If you want her back, then let her be the one to contact you and wonder what's going on. She has initiated contact and you seemed to play it right, but was there another reason for her to back out of hanging with you. Have you done the natural begging, crying, pleading, etc. If youo have then she might be hesitent to hang with you, because she fears that you will put a guilt trip on her. Just take things as they are and happen. do not read into anything. Take what they say at face value and listen to exactly what they say. Her actions might say one thing but her voice may say another. Go with what you know she said out of her mouth and try not to analyze anything else said or done. Things have a weird way of working out and in the end everything comes out in the wash. Just let her make all contact and see that she said that she doesn't want to lead you on. Which in my book is the sign that you two probably will not get back together. Sorry, but that is the way I read it. Take some time and work on yourself and get back to the person you once were. Work out, read books, go out with friends, go to a comedy club, etc. Do what you find fun and that also gets you mind off of her. Let her make all future contact till you have healed enough that you can talk to her without hurting and wanting her. Neallo Link to comment
Silverspoon Posted February 24, 2004 Share Posted February 24, 2004 What do you do though if your ex has always been really very shy? And never really so forthcoming with his feelings (except for the break-up talk -- how ironic, I know)? At what point do you let your ex off the hook and start asking questions about the relationship? In this order, he's emailed me, asked me to call him (which I didn't do), came by my office, called me (in response to an e-mail I sent him asking him if he wanted to do lunch to catch-up -- since I was feeling guilty that I hadn't talked to him/had been ignoring him for so long ... which he couldn't do but he suggested dinner sometime this week instead). Do these actions by him mean that he's still interested? I told him most recently that I was so busy this week that I couldn't have dinner and I suggested next week... to which he has not responded (though I did just write him yesterday but still odd b/c he's normally so prompt in his replies -- even since the break-up). Link to comment
JesseMac Posted February 24, 2004 Author Share Posted February 24, 2004 I did plead to her once but that was the night we broke up. Ever since then I was very understanding and made it very easy for her which most people dont do. I was so understanding that she asked me why I was so understanding. I said I understood why she did it and I wasnt mad at her and I dont hate her. I know that she was honest to me on sunday because one of her friends that im friends with (shes a girl) went over to her house with some other girls so i know she was honest. And I told her about 2 weeks ago that I didnt no if i could be friends with her and I know that made her really sad. I really have healed, I have been doing a lot i got out with friends and i work out, and I have healed, I just want a second chance because deep down I know she wants too. But she is very bullheaded. I have never brought up the relationship when I have talked to her. When I avoid talking to her I am very kind, but when I do it she does it also. So its like a game going back and forth. I want her to know that I just want to hangout with friends but I cant call her and I wont but how do I get her to see that? Link to comment
neallo82288 Posted February 24, 2004 Share Posted February 24, 2004 silverspoon, I thinkn you meant to post a new topic. Well, I will answer you here. You are in a unique situation. One in which, he has decided to contact you again. This is good if you are ready to talk to him and not be hurt by hearing from him. Take things slow and let him control all conversations. I would probably call him and just chit chat. Remember to keep all contact short and sweet, under eight minutes. I sense that it is now safe for you to contact him. but be careful, there is a chance that all he wants is friendship and if that is alright with you then good luck. Things are still iffy and you need to play it cool. DO NOT bring up the past relationship or a future one, unless he does and even then you need to be careful. Keep him in his safe and comfortable zone. Just play it cool and in the end you will be rewarded. Neallo Link to comment
JesseMac Posted February 24, 2004 Author Share Posted February 24, 2004 Wait are you talking to me or to someone else because I am talking about my ex girlfriend? Link to comment
neallo82288 Posted February 24, 2004 Share Posted February 24, 2004 Jesse, Sounds to me like you have to suck up your pride and call her. If she has indicated that she would like to talk to you again and sounds to me like she does. Do not read into the fact that she wants to hear from you that she wants to get back with you, but rather may just want to be friends. Just play it cool and be there fore her in her need, but do not be a door amt for her. Just do the things that make you feel comfortable and nothing more. She sounds like she is about ready to open up to you again, but once again you need to be careful. You have a chance here, but if you move too quickly you will chase her away. Just let her feel comfortable being around you again and see where things go. Take it slow and I mean very slow. Hope this helped, Neallo Link to comment
JesseMac Posted February 24, 2004 Author Share Posted February 24, 2004 Thank you all very mush for you help and advice its been a big help, feel free to leave anymore suggestions. Thanks again! Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now