Silverspoon

I dated someone similar and was so so so confused. This book really helped me... link removed=1080854679/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/102-1342919-7271339?v=glance&s=books&n=507846 I highly suggest!

I just think that since he is so shy and since I completely ignored him and blew him off, he's not going to feel comfortable coming back. Communication has completely dropped off -- so much for being "really good friends", I guess. I want him to be ok with talking to me now and thereforeeee leaving the door open to "us" sometime in the future. Agh -- I just wish I knew what was going on in his head. Any mind readers out there?

So my ex and I dated for six months and had a great/fun time -- never ever fought. He called/emailed all the time, wanted to see me regularly, always wanted me to stay over at his place and PDA'd all the time. He introduced me his family. He hasn't dated anyone since he was 18 -- he's 26 now and so very shy; he also just got a fabulous new job after being unemployed for a year. I freaked out over his birthday present to me and then he broke up with me -- though said that this had been coming for a while. Two months ago he said that he didn't know if he could ever love me the way I deserved and felt that I was always disappointed in him. I am still crushed and want him back. Since we are in the same friend group, I wrote him the day after we broke up and asked him what he'd be telling people about us. He wrote that he'd tell everyone that we've decided to be "really good friends for a while and see how that goes". Three weeks go by and no contact. Then he emails me -- asks me how I've been and at the end, tells me to call him so "we can catch up". I don't call him but then he stops by my office two days later! A few days later, I email and tell him it was good to see him, etc and he writes back promptly. I wait a few days and then write him back, telling him that I am going out of town for a week and that I'll talk to him when I get back. Two days after I get back, I write him and email and ask him if he wants to have lunch to catch up. He then calls me and sounds so excited to talk to me. He says that he can't do lunch but then suggests we do dinner during the week. I actually had a really busy week (have been filling schedule to stop thinking about him!) and tell him that I can't that week but I'd email him about my schedule. So I email him two days later, asking if he can do dinner next week. But no response. I let a week go by. I then call -- we had a completely normal convo -- I said nothing about the email or about dinner. After the 8 minutes are up, I say, "ok -- gotta get going. I'll talk to you later" and then he out of the blue says, "Well, I gotta check my schedule about dinner this week". I was all like, "ok, dinner sounds great! Talk to you later!" But then *nothing* from him -- no email, no call, etc in the past week. Then, I saw him out last night with our group of friends. He pretty much ignored me -- didn't say hello or even look at me. And then said a completely random comment to me about a baseball game -- which I pretty much ignored. I left before him but I didn't get a goodbye. What is going on in his head? Does he think I was being dismissive? Why is he backing off so much now? I have never ever told him that I missed him or wanted to get back together -- even our breakup was relatively calm (no tears). I am so confused. Is no-contact the right call in this situ? Should I apologize for ignoring him last night?

What do you do though if your ex has always been really very shy? And never really so forthcoming with his feelings (except for the break-up talk -- how ironic, I know)? At what point do you let your ex off the hook and start asking questions about the relationship? In this order, he's emailed me, asked me to call him (which I didn't do), came by my office, called me (in response to an e-mail I sent him asking him if he wanted to do lunch to catch-up -- since I was feeling guilty that I hadn't talked to him/had been ignoring him for so long ... which he couldn't do but he suggested dinner sometime this week instead). Do these actions by him mean that he's still interested? I told him most recently that I was so busy this week that I couldn't have dinner and I suggested next week... to which he has not responded (though I did just write him yesterday but still odd b/c he's normally so prompt in his replies -- even since the break-up).

The 411: We dated for six months and had a great/fun time -- never ever fought. He called/emailed all the time, wanted to see me regularly, always wanted me to stay over at his place and PDA'd all the time. He introduced me his family. He hasn't dated anyone since he was 18 -- he's 26 now and so shy; he also just got a fabulous new job after being unemployed for a year. I freaked out over his birthday present to me and then he broke up with me -- though saying that this had been coming for a while. Said that he didn't know if he could ever love me the way I deserved and felt that I was always disappointed in him. I am still crushed and want him back. Since we are in the same friend group, I wrote him the day after we broke up and asked him what he'd be telling people about us. He wrote that he'd tell everyone that we've decided to be "really good friends for a while and see how that goes". Three weeks go by and no contact. Then he emails me -- asks me how I've been and at the end, tells me to call him so "we can catch up". He also mentions that his company is doing work in the building that I work in -- but says that he doubts that he's going to go. I don't call or e-mail back. Then on Friday afternoon, he shows up at my office! He hugs me and then takes me on a walk to see the work his company was doing. We chit-chat. He tells me how he's getting his own personal cell phone and that I would be one of the select few who got his number. He starts to ask "What are you up to this weekend?" I manage to cut him off and say that I don't want to be in the way and have to go back to work. My big question now is whether or not I contact him? Do I email? Do I call? In order to keep the lines of communication open? I just feel like I was kind of cold (totally faking it) when I saw him.