What does he want from me (he has a g/f)?

[cochise]

Hi, everybody

 

Thank you for taking the time to read and help me with my situation. I really appreciate it.

 

OK here is the deal: There is this guy that sits near me in class. I have liked him ever since I've known him, although the feeling had gotten stronger a few months ago. Shortly after that, I found out he has a girlfriend. However, this did not bother me (I'm happy for him) because I would be very happy just being his friend. I get giddy when I'm around him and laugh at practically every word that comes out of his mouth, but only because I genuinely find him funny. I get a good vibe from him, and he makes me feel good.

 

The problem is that this guy has been acting in a way that seems to imply some interest in me, but I'm not sure what kind. Here are some examples:

 

--I've been to a couple of parties where he and his girlfriend were present. He danced with his girlfriend, but he always did it right in front of me and kept looking at me to see if I was paying attention. He also kept looking at me the rest of the time. He would be facing one way, and if I went to go talk to someone on the other side of the room, he would turn around to look at me and also come closer to where I was.

 

--He is not a shy guy (I can be very shy, especially if I don't know a person very well) but he seems to have a problem initiating conversation with me. Sometimes he tries to bring me into the conversation by talking first to a friend that I am with. Once he chased me down the hall and started talking to me. The conversations that we have had consist of a few words of playful teasing, for the most part. He seems less at ease with me that he does with other girls, and he does not do things like pass gas in front of me, although some girls that I have talked to say he has quite a reputation for it

 

--Once I went into a room to meet some of my friends, and he was a few feet away with a group of his friends. His face was the first thing I saw as I entered the room, and a big smile came over my face as our eyes met. A few minutes later, he came over to my group, and didn't say a word. Maybe he was waiting for me to say something. Then, he left after a minute.

 

--I have noticed a few times he seems to try and listen-in to my conversations with my friends. He sits near me, so sometimes if I'm talking to one of my friends, I've seen him lean in and face in our direction.

 

--He looks at me a lot…A LOT. I cannot stress this enough. Yet, when he talks to me, he almost never makes eye contact, and when he does, it's only for a split second. Sometimes he doesn't even face me!

 

I think I can say with a fair amount of certainty that this is not the kind of guy who would cheat on his girlfriend. What I mean to say is, I do not think he would still be with his girlfriend if he did not really like/love her or if he really liked me. I'm beginning to think he just likes my personality or finds me interesting and wants to be friends. Maybe he can also tell that I really like talking to him, as rare as that occasion may be. Maybe I make him feel good, like he does me. At the same time, I can't understand why I would make him so nervous (Maybe because I'm somewhat shy? But I really feel comfortable and open with him) So…

 

IS THIS THE BEHAVIOR OF SOMEONE WHO JUST WANTS TO BE FRIENDS?

 

I would appreciate anybody's thoughts on this. Thanks so much again for taking the time to read this long post. Take care everyone!

[Nifty_Swifty1]

Welcome to enotalone. Hope you find what you're looking for. There are great people around here even if you don't think that I'm one of them.

 

Not to offend you if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you're about 16. Am I right? If I am, then you have to try and remember that dating at this point is nothing more than teenaged politics. Not to say that how someone acts in a relationship is of no consequence (this is where you learn and show what kind of person you are going to be in your life). What I am saying is that about 99% of relationships are of no consequence in and of themselves at this point. It seems that you know this, but you are putting more weight into his relationship than it seems that he is. He might not cheat on his girl, but sounds like you wouldn't be too far off if you were to say that he would leave who he's with for someone else. If he does break up with his girl and you get together, then yeah for you, but don't go after the guy. You don't want to be someone that will go after and try and "steel" someone else's man. A friendship is the most valuable thing you can have with someone at this point because those are more likely to last forever.

 

No I've said all that assuming that you're about 16. If you're 18 or older I have some different advice. You both seem to be acting a little immature so grow up a bit. Even if that is the case you seem to have a better Handel on things than most people that I know, so you really don't have to worry about it much.

 

Have fun in life and God bless