Please help...I have gotten much worse...

[alexals27]

Please someone help me...I am doing so much worse instead of better.

To sum up the story...It would have been a year on Valentine's Day. We had one small argument in January....Then he asked for a 30 day break...Told me though to keep the faith with us...Said I was the nicest girl he has ever met and was everything he was looking for...Said I needed time to work on myself. Which is true- but just finding a new job and buying my own place. I have already found a place and got a promotion at work so those things are done.

Well, he called on Feb. 8th like he said he would but we have been playing phone tag since. His last return message last Wed. he sounded SO cold and like a different person. I didn't even recognize the voice. He said if I wanted to "talk about stuff" to call him back last Thurs. night b/c he had plans all weekend, and if he were home he would pick up. Well, his voice was so cold and different I did not call him back. I stayed strong and didn't call him Valentine's Day/anniversary weekend. I had sent him a letter last week thanking him for all he ever did for me b/c he was everything I was ever looking for and he treated me like gold...He really did. So I thanked him and I apologized for my moodiness around the holiday time which led to a fight...But that was our first real fight...and he just gets up and goes??? I did not ask him to come back to me in the letter at all...Just stated how much I did love him and how I know I need months on my own to grow some more and change as my own person.

I don't even know if he read the letter!

 

I am just in shock that someone who wrote me a card on Christmas saying this would be our first Christmas of a lifetime of Christmas' together just leaves me just like that....Without an explanation as to WHY?? Without the common courtesy of a call to meet up and give me my belongings back in person and tell me it is over os I can have some closure. How could the nicest guy my friends and I have ever known turn into this?

 

Please help. I am down 23 pounds....still can't sleep...I can't focus at work...am afraid I won't make it in this promotion.

I have been heartbroken before but it has never felt like this. I seriously feel like I'm dying. I just wish he would contact me and give me the respect I deserve. I did nothing wrong!

 

Thanks to anyone for listening.

[Brneyegirll]

I feel soo bad for you Guys can be awful (im going threw stuff now with one). I hate to tell you this but it sure sounds like this guy has found someone else. Unless he's getting scared to make a committment. Because knowing you have a good job now and a house may be making him back off because he knows what the next move is. He probably wont tell you that but i bet if you do some checking you will find out. BTW- how old is he?? Has he ever been married, kids?? Did you ever live together??

 

You are to good for him. Your doing great with your job, home and heading down a great path on your own. Don't let him destroy what you've worked so hard for. You do have a good future and a good guy will come along and treat you better than this. I know your hurting but time will heal the pain. I would NOT contact him at all. If he truly loves you, he will come back and with an explanation as to why he is doing this to you. Honestly, I cant think of one good enough to put you threw this.

 

As far as how good he was when you were 2gether...they say it takes approx. one year to see the true colors of a person in a relationship. Love blinds us severly. I bet if you really look back at the year with him, you will see that there were warning signs. I seen them immediately with my b/f but choose to ignore them..

 

I wish you all the luck. And please take care of yourself so you can heal from this and meet you a GOOD man!

[alexals27]

We are both 31....Never married...And he talked about marriage the 2nd/3rd month we met. I never really did. At the end he told me he was dating for a wife...Not just dating to date arm candy or whatever. He said his dream was to be married with a couple of kids. I wanted that too but he and I knew I had to move out on my own first, improve my career and find my "happy place" on my own.

The day he asked for the break he said the most important thing is I find my happy place. Then we can think about us being together.

I am so confused.

He was engaged and broke that off 6 years ago...They went out from when he was 19 until 25. Then had some short term things but said he never found any girl who was genuinely nice and good like I was.

I'm sorry...I am at such a loss. Where there warning signs there I just never saw? I saw them in past relationships but I swear in this one he was everything I ever wanted in a guy!!!

[alexals27]

We are both 31....Never married...And he talked about marriage the 2nd/3rd month we met. I never really did. At the end he told me he was dating for a wife...Not just dating to date arm candy or whatever. He said his dream was to be married with a couple of kids. I wanted that too but he and I knew I had to move out on my own first, improve my career and find my "happy place" on my own.

The day he asked for the break he said the most important thing is I find my happy place. Then we can think about us being together.

I am so confused.

He was engaged and broke that off 6 years ago...They went out from when he was 19 until 25. Then had some short term things but said he never found any girl who was genuinely nice and good like I was.

I'm sorry...I am at such a loss. Where there warning signs there I just never saw? I saw them in past relationships but I swear in this one he was everything I ever wanted in a guy!!!

[Brneyegirll]

He could be one of those guys scared of committment..and the closer they feel your getting to them..the more they will back off. I do believe (or at least in my situation) they really do want to get married deep down but CAN NOT take that step.

 

Did he call you for Valentines Day or come and see you?? a g/f of mine is going threw the same thing like you. Her b/f broke up with her after a year of dating the day b4 Valentines day and never called her that day or gave her anything. He did this 2 her with NO Reason what so-ever. And this guy is 54 yrs old..Sad!!

You are doing so good with your job and all. Keep up the good work 4 Yourself!!

BrnEyeGirll*

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Experience is the worst teacher, it gives the test before the lesson.