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Insecurity Issues?


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So I'm not going to lie, I'm very insecure and I've tried to stop it, but I don't know how. The latest thing going on is this:


My boyfriend has a friend who's a girl. And basically, I just don't like her. I guess I don't have a good reason besides the fact that they knew each other before he and I met and the fact that they were good friends before makes me jealous. I also just don't like most girls in general.


They don't really talk as often now [so he says] but the thing I'm bothered about now is something on myspace. [i know, pretty childish but whatever.] Anyways, my boyfriend works all day so if he ever does get the chance to use a computer, it's not until later at night. Maybe like 7:30-8ish. Well, for the past couple of days I've noticed that him and that girl sign in around the same time. For instance, yesterday, he didn't sign on until the time I mentioned and I check hers every so often throughout the day and she didn't sign on ALL day until around the same time my boyfriend did. I know that she was online during the day because she was on facebook in the afternoon. Like I said, it's been like that the past couple days...her not signing in ALL day and then after my boyfriend signs in she just so happens to as will. So because of this, I think that maybe they're messaging each other. I know this shouldn't bother me, because I know deep down it's not fair for me to get mad at him for having friends, but I can't help it. I know she sometimes goes to him for advice and stuff, but I don't understand why she can't just find a new friend to ask or something. I don't really want to say anything because this issue has been the cause of the majority of our arguments and we even broke up once because of it.


So I guess my question is. . .am I being way too insecure/crazy/stalkerish? If so, how can I stop? We've been together for 2 years and I still can't seem to get over this.

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Yes. You are obsessing over this. I talk to some of my friends every day, too, often at the same time. Is your boyfriend good at giving advice? Maybe that's why she likes talking to him. It's good to get a guy's opinion on things.


By checking her page, you're just making it worse on yourself. Don't go to websites where you'll see her name or see her pictures if it bothers you that much. You are telling your boyfriend that you don't trust him, and that has a lot more to do with your own insecurity than with him and his friends, so stop making it all about them in your mind, and focus on yourself. If you start thinking about them, do something that will distract you. If you want to go to her myspace, try and refrain and go watch TV or something.

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In general, I prefer women to men as friends. Most men do not like women who don't have girlfriends. My bf says a woman who doesn't like other women is nothing but an acccident waiting to happen. Learn to like women. We're fun and we will understand you even when your man can't figure you out.

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