Malakain Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 first off, no i dont plan to nor has anything happened already. there ground work covered... but yeah,i went a long time not like this girl my friend was going out with, she was just that person who was always with him... well, as of a couple of nights ago my friend was being a bit of a jerk to her and i was outside having a smoke and she came outside and started talking to me... and now... im starting to have strong feelings towards here... like i want to be with her... i dont know what to think... what makes me feel worse about this is that its happened before with me, just a bit differently than this time... is it a horrible thing of me to fall for my friends girlfriends, or is it something that i should just ignore completely... im so not use to being the one asking for advice, lol, guess im wearing blinders Link to comment
Pandaman211 Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Its not horrible, as long as you don't act on it while their still together, or contribute to them falling apart. Or flirt with her, or do anything that that you wouldnt want your friend to do if your friend had feelings for your girlfriend. You're a guy, so this makes this easy. Don't violate the man code. Its natural you're going to have feelings for certain people, its just how we all are. But when they are in a relationship, you put yourself in that dudes position, and thats how you determine how to act. You probably already know this, but I just wanted to reinforce it. She might be great, and he might have gotten mad at her, but look, every relationship has their problems, a lot of great relationships have rough patches where they bicker, argue, etc. Doesn't mean you should interfere (not saying you were going to). Theres a whole different side of her that you don't experience that he does. So please try not to use that as an excuse later on if you REALLY start falling for her, to start pursuing her. I think it happens more than everyone thinks/acknowledges, especially with us guys. I've never fallen for one of my buddies' girls, I've though they were attractive and cool, but other than that, nothing really like that. But its normal, we're guys, we know right away if we like something or not. So don't beat yourself up about it, you're not horrible at all, you're human. Just go with the flow and try and ignore it, forget about it, don't think about it, etc. Link to comment
Malakain Posted January 4, 2009 Author Share Posted January 4, 2009 i think that was pretty much what i wanted, lol. just some reinforcement to my thoughts on the subject, thank you. Link to comment
franfran Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 I have literally ruined friendships over this....Not my fault my boyfriends' friends end up liking me, but all I have to say for you is exactly what pandaman said. Don't make the mistake of giving in to your emotions while this girl is still with your friend. Whatever you do, at least wait until they're not together anymore. Sad to say that your friend will probably hate you if you date her after him anyway, but if you like her that much then who knows, maybe it'd be worth it. Link to comment
Nutz Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Wait. I'm confused. Why do you have strong feelings for her after one chat with her as she was blowing off steam about her bf/your friend? What's really going on here? Link to comment
Malakain Posted January 4, 2009 Author Share Posted January 4, 2009 im not really sure what you mean, but yes there is a much larger background around all of us > Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 feelings change. don't act on them here though. Link to comment
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