whats a wife to do ?

[ItsMeJEWELSAgain]

My husband and i have been married for almost 3 years. He is 36 I am 40. Everything was peachy until about 6 months after we got married. I am bothered by the fact he doesnt want to make love. I've asked begged and pleaded. All i hear is im too tired, im not in the mood etc.

The kids go to visit their father 4 days a month. I think this time alone should be special and not wasted, but he seems to feel different.

I feeling a little better about myself after losing weight decided to walk up to him in the middle of the day totally nude. As i stood b4 him he didnt even acknowledge me. When i asked about it later { after about 3 hours of crying } he said, " Oh, im sorry i didnt see you standing there infront of me naked". needless to say what was left of any self esteem i had died at the very moment. He seems to get jealous when other guys talk to me but that confuses me since he doesnt even wanna touch me. Ive tried romantic candle lit dinners, a get away just for us, flirting, cards, losing weight, growing my hair long { he likes long hair }, not only watched football, drag racing and hockey, but also learned the rules and lingo. I bought negligees and lost 30 pounds but that wasnt even noticed.

For 2 years now i have tried all of this and more. Nothing seems to work. I feel unwanted, ugly, and unneeded. I've tried to tell him this many times

but everytime i try to express my feelings, he says im talking stupid. I think that is wrong to tell someone when you are trying to open up. Makes me feel like what i feel and say is very unimportant. I dont know what im doing wrong or what im not doing to help our relationship out. How long should one try b4 they just give up ?

[tough_girl]

Hi there,

 

Well, I think ithe problem isn't you but him. Have you try talking to him without crying? He might have some ploblems with his genitals that he's ashamed to let anyone know. Or if he's too stressed out or something. Before you think that he's been out with other women, have you got any pointers such as spending more time outside than at home?

 

So, I hope you get to find out the problem then solve it accordingly. Best of luck.

[goldbraid]

I really feel for you. I also had a man who didn't see me. He would particularly ignore me if I made a HUGE effort to visually stimulate and please him. I was the only naked woman he ignored. He made me feel like I really was invisible.

[goldbraid]

I really feel for you. I also had a man who didn't see me. He would particularly ignore me if I made a HUGE effort to visually stimulate and please him. I was the only naked woman he ignored. He made me feel like I really was invisible.

[routerx]

You may want to consider giving him no sex for a long time. Playing hard to get.

 

He obviously takes you for granted. I'd make him jeoulous by masterbating instead of asking him. When he wants to have sex.. tell him he doesn't do it for you.

 

In other words... leave him be... let him come crawling back to you.

 

(gerneral statement) people need to remember that the harder they try.. the less appealing it is...

[ItsMeJEWELSAgain]

well tough girl i have talked to him many time without crying ...until i hear him put me down i am fine...he knows this really hurts me and still does it..ugh...no problems with genitals...he knows i have no complaints about when we do have sex just the extreme lack of. Other than work he is here. I dont think hed ever cheat because in order to do that you have to desire sex and I bet there are corpses with a higher sex drive.

[ItsMeJEWELSAgain]

routerx... i have done that ...it doesnt bother him ....he must be the only man on this planet who doesnt want physical attention anymore. I have told him i wont go without ...after all there is "bob" and he never says NO.

[tough_girl]

Well, Jewels,

 

I read from a book that men don't like to admit their weakness. They hate having to take advise from another people, so I guess if you want him to gofor counselling, you should coax him more or pressure him. I know it's an uphill task, but I hope it's worth the effort.

 

If that doesn't change him, I don't know what else to say. I hope this has helped.