weezer8 Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 hello everyone.. i want some advices here.. i've been dumped by my ex 2 weeks ago. this is my 2nd failed relationship and i've been doing alot of thinking n for the past few days i read about narcarcistic personality.. i think i have that personality.. i did narcissistic quiz on the net and the result shown that i have that trait. hmm i think that is the main cause of my break ups. my exes tired of my behaviours.. so how to overcome that..pls help. Link to comment
savignon Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 What makes you think that you have a narcissistic personality? (Or what made them think that)? All of us have many traits that are unflattering and could probably pass or fail any quiz out there on the internet. Identify the things about yourself that YOU want to change and work on them. Link to comment
COtuner Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 The obvious thing is to say find a counselor who has a specialty in that area, but it's also worth pointing out that I wouldn't use an online quiz as a psychological diagnostic tool. A lot of people have elements of various psych disorders but don't actually have that issue. Maybe just talk to a counselor about what you think might be root causes of your relationship troubles (and always remember there are two people and two personalities involved in a relationship!!). That might be enough to help you work on personal growth in whatever areas you think you'd like to improve. I also suggest thinking about what you want in a relationship and what you enjoy. How's that for a start? Link to comment
tmp0620 Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 You know, I've taken online test and I've had every disorder there is known to man? Maybe you're narcissistic but if I were you I'd go to a psychologist rather than trust an online personality test. Link to comment
crab62 Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 You know, I've taken online test and I've had every disorder there is known to man? Maybe you're narcissistic but if I were you I'd go to a psychologist rather than trust an online personality test. i only have one disorder... big time CODEPENDENCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! help me someone](*,)](*,)](*,) j/k... but I am codependent Link to comment
COtuner Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 i only have one disorder... big time CODEPENDENCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! help me someone](*,)](*,)](*,) j/k... but I am codependent I think that's so common that I almost wonder if it isn't a human trait that we've all decided together should be suppressed, LOL Link to comment
crab62 Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 I think that's so common that I almost wonder if it isn't a human trait that we've all decided together should be suppressed, LOL well my ex was good at repressing, so we can ask him how to do it... okay, see I'm being codependent again, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh](*,)](*,)](*,), LOL! Link to comment
gromalamaz Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 I'm there with you -- codependency is such a hard thing to overcome! However, recognizing it is the first step. Has anyone on here ever attended CODA meetings? I'm wondering if this is something that might be helpful (in addition to therapy and reading books to help myself)? My only concern is getting 'stuck' in a support system of fellow codependents...? Link to comment
COtuner Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 Maybe you could mix the narcissists with codependents and it just might work? Link to comment
gromalamaz Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 I know I shouldn't laugh, but that combination would definitely ensure the cycle of 'give and take'! Link to comment
weezer8 Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 yeah.. i think its more about codependency..not narcissistic.. so does anyone know how to deal with that? Link to comment
Mutley Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 hello everyone.. i want some advices here.. i've been dumped by my ex 2 weeks ago. this is my 2nd failed relationship and i've been doing alot of thinking n for the past few days i read about narcarcistic personality.. i think i have that personality.. i did narcissistic quiz on the net and the result shown that i have that trait. hmm i think that is the main cause of my break ups. my exes tired of my behaviours.. so how to overcome that..pls help. Seem that all those with narcisistic traits that I know...don't have the personal reflection ability that you just demonstrated by questioning yourself. Link to comment
COtuner Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 yeah.. i think its more about codependency..not narcissistic.. so does anyone know how to deal with that? The aforementioned Codependents Anonymous (CODA) claims to be of help to people, don't know anything about whether or not it's worth the time. On the bright side, there are plenty of online and published resources to help. A good search on ENA will probably give a few links people have posted in the past. There's always counseling for this too, but I think I'd check out some of the material out there first, and sort of do a sanity check against your own history. Try and avoid the online quizzes though Link to comment
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