Did I do the Wrong Thing

[mlchildr]

I just talked to my ex and it was friendly conversation actually it was about dropping off some papers to him. I called him becasue I need to give these back to him. we hav been in contact after the break up but I have read the no contact but that seems so hard. I just called him back and left a message saying that I need to know if I should just let go or is there a chance that we will get back together. I am willing to try the no contact but I don't want that to backfire and have him never get in touch with me again. He wants to be friends and of course I want that to keep him in my life but sometimes I think I am kidding myself that we will get back together. I want to be more than friends so that is hard. I am willing to do what it takes.

[tiger_lilies]

In my opinion, I believe that it is nearly impossible to remain friends right after a devestating breakup. You need time to be away from him in order to heal. If you stay in contact with him, you are kidding yourself about being friends with him because you will always be hoping that he will change his mind.

 

I know it's hard. I've been there. Give yourself an ultimatum and stick with your decision.

[sidehop]

Hi mlchildr,

 

I'm sorry about your loss, hang in there. As for the no contact rule, you either do it or don't. It's hard...very, the feeling of losing someone you loved and wanted to be with. Time will heal but if you keep trying to get him back, chances are, you'll push him away even more. If you're willing to give the no contact rule, do it as long as you can.

 

I guess from my experience, I learned it the hard way & paid dearly at the end. But take it as a lesson like I did. There's always something new to learn about after a break up. I almost called, emailed, or made up an excuse to go see my ex. In fact she has an extra key to my apartment and my favorite tupperware LOL. Don't make little excuses to see him or contact him. Just avoid it like a plague even though it's very hard.

 

Keep your chin up and smile. Everyday, it will be better and you have to believe yourself, things will get better with or without him.

[mlchildr]

I just want to thank everyone for the advice. It has helped a lot. I am still stuck with the being friends after a break up. I broke up with him.... alot of arguing in our relationship. I regretted it the day after and wanted him back so bad. He didn't want to get back together but wants to be friends. We have talked about this. He is my first love and it is so hard to let go.... I think that I would like to have him as a friend becasue I can't stand to think of him not in my life. I just don't undertand if he wants to be friends so bad why can we not just get back together. I have never been friends with any other X and neither has he. He made the comment that we had a different type of relationship from every other one that he has had. He said that I verbally abused him in the relationship and I guess he just dosen't want that form me anymore. We have only been apart about a week now and I realized so much about myself and the way I treated him. I feel so bad for treating him that way. I guess I just need to know should I remain friends or is going to be to hard.