Seperating the past from the present..

[GizMo567]

I think we all know that we have a hard time looking at things ending and wondering about what may come. It is truly heart breaking and body numbing at times to think about moving on, going forward, and staring at the prospect of walking the path alone all over again.

 

Whether we like it or not, time really does move on. We have to wake up each morning whether we really can move on without her/him or not, whether our SO is coming back, how we can get them back, and the random other thoughts of them that dominate our very way of thinking.

 

But let me put into perspective what a lot of us fight.

 

We really don't separate the past from the present. We think that if the other half comes back, that we can walk the same path and everything will be fine.

 

But that is definitely not true. Something has to change in order for the relationship to work again does it not? Why did you break up in the first place? Obviously something or someone has changed and that you 2 are no longer compatible for the time being or in most cases, for the rest of our lives.

 

I think when reality sets in, that is when we feel the pain the most. We dont have what was once so apart of our lives that we yearn for the very thing we cherished the most. We long for there very touch, there very kiss, even down to the way they laugh and or look at us.

 

What it really boils down to is: can you look at the relationship from the whole and separate the past from the present? Instead of looking back, can you look forward to what may lay ahead? Can we take a deep breath knowing that if we take everything 1 second, minute, hour, day, weeks, months at a time that we can let our hearts heal?

 

I understand the challenge that lays ahead in facing these sort of "easy" tasks but if you can apply what you learned in your previous relationship to your next, you can only build a better foundation for hopefully, the right one that comes along.

 

I really hope everyone knows that we are capable of loving again, that hopefully we may meet the right one, and someday, build the love that much stronger for the next person that may come.

 

Good luck everyone and belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

[Truffle786]

Hi

Excellent post + I love love love Gizmo!

You are so right, a lot of us rather dwell on the past and not realise that there are so many possibilities in the future. I think its just a matter of time. Only now, I'm starting to get excited about falling in love again. I'm now realising that I can fall in love again, I've fallen before, and it always seems so special and if it doesn't work out, I just feel i'll never find someone so right for me. But everytime it just gets better. Because like you said - we learn. Yes - we are capable of loving again, and when I think of it - it makes me feel a lot better. Not all is lost.

Spot on Gizmo, thank you

xx

[franfran]

Great post OP!

[Wickedhurt]

Great post and I have thought about that but I dont want to be stronger for the next person to come. I want to be stronger for my wife. I just hope it's not too late. :sad:

[GizMo567]

Thank you for the nice comments It is really difficult coming out of a relationship and having your heart break all over the place.

 

For most people here, I can tell how caring and loving you people are. Reading what you write, you can hear the passion for the other person as well as the love and yearn for them.

 

I want people to realize that they are not alone in this. That in the most cliche sounding phrase - time really does heal. If you can move on from the past with what you have learned and reapplied it to the next relationship you might encounter, you will be that much stronger for that person and maybe, just maybe, fall in love all over again.