can you be friends with an ex

[john4321]

my ex and i have known each other for over 20 years. we broke up and got a divorce and it was terrible. now after 2 years, so much work, and so much change, we have somewhat re-connected. i do not think we will ever get back together, she knows i have changed and have become a different person, but i do not think she will ever give me the chance.

 

the problem is my life would be so diminished without her in it, even as a friend. we grew up together, shared too much together, just to let that all go. she is a wonderful person and when we are together we get along so well now, and have so much fun. i can talk to her, and her to me about our lives and about stuff others would not understand. i help her out when needed. and do what i can for her.it is a great friendship.

 

am i crazy or can it happen. any advice?

[Umlunguusa]

The simple answer is, yes, you CAN be friends with your ex, but...it'll never be the same, and you'll have to get used to the fact that intimate contact is not inevitable...so please, tread softly, though I wouldn't suggest it.

[ad-mortem]

From what you've said, I think it's definitely possible that you could be friends with her, and very good friends at that, provided you don't use that friendship as a tool to try and get back with her.

[mariposa81]

I agree with the previous posters. I definitely think you can be friends with an ex.

 

My best friend is actually a man that I was with for 5 years. After we broke up, we didn't really have much contact for about 1 year. He had a hard time getting over it, so I didn't feel it was appropriate to hang out frequently because I knew a relationship wasn't something I still wanted and he still had feelings for me.

 

He eventually moved on and so did I. So only at that point were we able to be friends without the jealously or hurt that sometimes comes into play after a break up when there's still residual feelings.

 

We both feel that we've evolved into different people and could never see ourselves back together because we no longer feel that way for each other. But I can't imagine my life without him in it because he's now one of my best friends.

 

So yes, it's possible.