I NEED HELP!! SO ANXIOUS OF TELLING MY EX

[DJHIPHOP]

Well, here's my situation!! well, my girl broke up with me like two weeks ago, and now she's with some other guy, why did she do that? does she love me still? well, here's whats going on? i barely found that this guy is a player? and she doesnt know it! one of my girlfriends saw his pictures on the internet and she talked to chat with him, it started to get pretty heated up with for example, she asked him so what kinda girls do u like? then she asked him, do u have a girlfriend? he didnt respond to that!! then he gave her, his number? why would u give a girl that u hardly know ur number? that night, she called him, and they were having a pretty long conversation, and she asked him again, do u have a girlfriend or what? because i dont want to have problems with that!! so do u know what he said, "NO, i dont have a girlfriend, i dont have time for one, i mean, even if i had one, i would still mess around." First off, how dare you deny that my girl is not ur girlfriend!! is that sign of something or what? he basically lied about everything!! i record the whole thing and plus i printed out the whole online chat thing!! so what im asking for is this? should i tell her now because she hasnt built any serious feelings for him yet but at the same time she can probably fall in love with guy? or do i let it play out until god i dont know how long!! people are telling to not say anything, others r saying that u should tell her!! anybody out there hit me up and let me know about my situation

[bamster]

I wouldn't tell her anything. You have to get a grip man. SHE left you for this player so let HER find out on her own. If you tell her anything she will only say you are stalking and lying to her to get her back. Let her learn from her mistakes and maybe she will come crawling back to you once she has realised what she has lost! Well thats my opinion i suppose other will say otherwise.

[Clambert]

Okay, that is some pretty good evidence, i still say tell her.

 

I am wondering, is this girlfriend of yours that spoke to him a friend of your exgirlfriend? If she is she may take it better coming from her, incase your worried about her being mad. Your friend could tell her exactly what happened, that she saw his pics on the net in the singles or whatever. Sine she is the one who got all the information, she may be able to convince your ex that this guy she is with really is a jerk.

 

With all the evidence you have she could use it to say that you are prying into her life, cause really it does look a little like you were spying. Not to say that you are cause i dont think you are, im just trying to cover every cenario possible.

 

Don't let it play out, you obviously care about her, and with that im sure you dont want her to fall in love and get her heart broken, even if it isnt you she runs to for consolement.

[DJHIPHOP]

hey clambert, well, actually its my friend's sister, that is being used as the decoy!! my friend he's going out with my girl's sister!! thats crazy, huh!! so we became close, since we are dating sisters!! well, i mean she's helping me out because i need it a girl to talk to him to see what kinda of stuff he talks about! well, as u can see, he's playing her nasty!! im just wondering if it all goes according to plan u know!! i mean obviously when i tell her, my friend and his sister are going to be with me!! because they were witnesses and his sister can explain everything to her, meaning what they talked about on the phone!! what do u think? write back okay!! what would u do in my position?

[Clambert]

well, i am assuming since your friend is dating her sister that your friends sister and his girlfriend are friends as well.

Are you tight with your ex's sister?

Maybe one of you could talk to her sis, let her know whats going on, i know id believe my sister over anyone. If you and your friend go with her to say something to your ex she may feel like she's being "ganged up on", girls take that kind of information better when it is coming from another girl, having you around may make her feel a bit uncomfortable considering the circumstances.

Either way, they know each other and if it were me, i wouldn't go and tell her myself and take witnesses because it would still make you look like you were spying/stalking. But you still need to let her know somehow.

So, in my opinion you do have a good idea, ya just may want to rethink it a bit.

I could give you about a thousand different ways of going about letting her know, but because i dont know this girl personally i cant tell you how she will react to each situation, just how i would, when i am giving you advice i am trying to relate it to things that have happened in my life. If you are tight with any of her friends maybe one of them can give you the best answer, they would know how she would react if you told her the way you are planning to and if they think it is the best way.

[DJHIPHOP]

hey, well, we're not tight but we're close to that!! well, ur suggesting for me to ask my ex's sister to talk with her!! if she does, then my ex is going to question her because she would probably ask her how she knows this stuff!! u dont think i should be the one telling her then or what? or u recommend someone close to her to do for me!! also, i mean, so ur saying that if i take my friend and his sister, even though, they were there in person when everything was going down, to not be there if they are evidence? well, i dont know, give me some advice

[Clambert]

I was saying you have a million different options.

Yes, i think it would be better coming from someone close to her, but at one time you were close to her. Your right, it is a good idea for them to be there to support every word said since they are the ones who obtained the evidence.

I didnt mean to confuse you, i was trying to give you some ideas that may be helpful. sorry.

 

When you do go to tell her just be as nice as you can. that may be hard for her even though it has only been two weeks. the longer you wait to tell her the harder it is going to get. Just dont be surprised if she thinks that you were snooping.

 

I only reccomended going to her sister because i know that sisters are often close, and it is easier to hear news like that coming from a family member. if you did do it that way, your friends could go with her sister to support the information, since she is dating your friend it wouldnt seem weird that they were all there.

 

But go with them regardless, she may need a shoulder to cry on and you could be that shoulder since you were the one who made it a point to make sure she wasnt going to get hurt even though she hurt you.

[Michael2]

Man oh man, I think you posted about this a day or two back.

 

I have one more thing to say. Previously I told you NOT to call her or tell her. Yet in your mind you have this crazy need to.

 

You are looking for someone on this board to tell you what you want to hear, which unfortunately isnt the right advice.

 

Here comes the blunt Mike, you tell her , you will not onyl look weak but it will come off as if you are desperate. Let her learn man, stop with the games. Arent you upset that she dumped you for another guy. Make her learn the lesson the hard way.You arent her teacher in this game. Im just saying, that if you do approach her, you will end up hurting.

[neallo82288]

I totally agree with everything that Mike said. Man, you need to look at the picture better. Open your eyes. She dumped you like yesterday's trash and you want her back. You know you will never be able to trust her again. You will always be looking over your shoulder and hers for the next time. Man, that is not how a relationship is supposed to happen.

 

If you tell her you will alienate her against you and she will never see the light. Just let her be and learn from her own pain. Yes, this other guy is a jerk, but she dropped you for him and that was just cold and heartless for her to do. Let her suffer like she has caused you to suffer. Never tell her that you know or things will blow up in your face and neither of you want that.

 

Neallo

[sprkal]

lets be realistic, ur hurting, she's broken up with u for some idiot who is no good for her, and u would be way better....blah blah blah yada yada etc etc BUT, maybe youre just looking for ways to prove that she should really be with u when she doesnt want to be. my advice, stay away, sh'es a big girl, let her deal. be her shoulder to cry on if it goes bad, but dont be the one to tell her. itll make u look bad/jealous in her eyes.

 

cheers, sprkal