Jonboy582 Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 Hey there is this girl I like we have been friends for a few years. I know you will say I have been "friend zoned" but bare with me. She has been sending me mixed signals, so many I can't be bothered to list. But she did admit she used to have a thing for me, and I had one for her but we did not realise so nothing happened. Anyway we have been talking much more recently, and getting on really well. And as I said I have been sent tons of mixed signals. So are there any signals that happen a lot I should ignore or focus on? Jon Link to comment
D_Lish Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 Only one way that you are gonna find out how she feels and that is, grow some nuts and ask her on a date Link to comment
Jonboy582 Posted December 21, 2008 Author Share Posted December 21, 2008 Only one way that you are gonna find out how she feels and that is, grow some nuts and ask her on a date that's where the problem is, I WOULD ask her BUT that's one of the mixed signals lol. She told me she is fed up of her friends at uni confessing there love for her or that they like her. So is she trying to like warn me off asking OR is she like saying she has interest in her to increase her appeal, or literally just making conversation and means nothing by it. Despite this I still would ask if she was not my friend. Link to comment
D_Lish Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 Yeah that's where the problem is, I WOULD ask her BUT that's one of the mixed signals lol. She told me she is fed up of her friends at uni confessing there love for her or that they like her. So is she trying to like warn me off asking OR is she like saying she has interest in her to increase her appeal, or literally just making conversation and means nothing by it. Despite this I still would ask if she was not my friend. I'm unsure. She could be saying it for any one of those reasons....either to deter you/to increase her appeal...lol And if she does like you as more than a friend, then maybe you are also sending 'mixed signals' to her and when you are unsure of how she feels. Most women like the guy to pursue them however and most women won't make a real interest known, until the guy makes it known first. She could be awaiting you, making that first move. Link to comment
keefy1972 Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 My instinct tells me that she is telling you how she is sick of all of the people hitting on her because, she has a thing for you, and she wants you to know her value. This is a classic flirting technique. Go for it! Link to comment
Jonboy582 Posted December 22, 2008 Author Share Posted December 22, 2008 Thanks you two, I guess I will have to make a move soon if I am not to miss my chance. I will wait until after Christmas when I am staying over hers. Going to have a couple of friends round as well but she changed the date as she said she didn't want to do it without me. Guess that's a good thing, also we are going to have a few drinks and all that. One problem is she is my friends ex, I made sure I waited a long time as I have turned down friends ex's before. Its been 3 years and they only had a 9 month relationship. Do you think that's long enough? Link to comment
D_Lish Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 Its been 3 years and they only had a 9 month relationship. Do you think that's long enough? Yeah, I think 3 years is a long enough gap. Doubt your friend will hold any grudge after that length of time. Good luck anyway and keep us posted. Always interesting to hear how these situations pan out Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 Hey there is this girl I like we have been friends for a few years. I know you will say I have been "friend zoned" but bare with me. She has been sending me mixed signals, so many I can't be bothered to list. But she did admit she used to have a thing for me, and I had one for her but we did not realise so nothing happened. Anyway we have been talking much more recently, and getting on really well. And as I said I have been sent tons of mixed signals. So are there any signals that happen a lot I should ignore or focus on? Okay, listen up. You like her. You know this. You stated it in your first sentence. There is nothing more you need to focus on other than acting on your desire by taking this somewhere other than "friendship". A girl is only going to send you signals as strong as the ones you send her. When you said you thought she was displaying interest to you, what did you do? You started talking to her more. Bleh! Unless by "talking to her more" you mean you are whispering sweet nothings into her ear and/or are making sexual promises to her then you are doing nothing. You have changed nothing at all. You are still doing friend stuff. Those are the signals you are sending her. You think you are confused? How about her? Let's just say for the benefit of the doubt that she is sending you signals of interest. Assuming that, how do you think she feels right now? Do you think she knows 100% that you are interested, or do you think she might be a little bit confused how you ignored her signals and have only increase the amount of friend vibes you are sending her? You will only receive signals as strong as those you send. You want this to be more? Then friggin do something! Set up a romantic date. Ask her out, make sure she knows it's not just a "friend thing" but knows that it is more. Do not go an confess feelings, but instead just make moves that are in no way confusing for her. They need to be blatant signals of interest. Take her out on a date and tell her it is a real date. On the date kiss her. These things display interest. If you make a move to kiss, it's a strong move. Thus, by reaction her response will be equally as strong and clear. Get on the ball here. All you are doing is shuffling your feet and sitting in FZ longer. Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 Yeah that's where the problem is, I WOULD ask her BUT that's one of the mixed signals lol. She told me she is fed up of her friends at uni confessing there love for her or that they like her. A) That worries me. Sounds to me like she is suggesting that it has happened more than once... which in turn tells me that she strings a lot of guys along. Possibly for the attention, but doesn't like it when they try to get something back for the attention they gave her once for free. B) It is possible that she is warning you off. Don't know. C) You don't have to "confess love". NEVER do that. Instead why not just ask her out on a date or make a move? That's not confessing love. It shows her you are interested but she doesn't know how much. This is why you use actions and not words to display interest. Confessing is way too much. Link to comment
Jonboy582 Posted December 24, 2008 Author Share Posted December 24, 2008 Ok thanks alot dating coach (btw did you used to be called didgity dog or something?). Anyway, if only I had read your post before I went out tonight. Got stuck in the most awkward situation ever lol. Anyway I saw her was round her house, went to leave. I went to hug her, then I think she thought I went to kiss her and went to kiss me, then I kinda went to kiss her, then she went to hug me then we kinda started shaking our heads in a very uncomfortable manner hugged and parted ways "slaps face" Anyway the way I see it I have a couple of days to make a move before its too late. And will make sure I do so, I kind of realised after I left that "hukis" as I'm naming it could have been confusing. So just sent a little text saying well it was interesting and should turn out different next time bla bla bla lol. Oh as for stringing guys along I don't think she really does that. And tells them strait after they have said something she is not interested. So yes will report back in a few days, hopefully after not doing a pigeon impression again. Oh wait christmas, might have to add a couple of days to that lol. Anyway thanks for the advice what do I have to loose ! she is still friends with the other guys that said similar in the past. Finally, how much can I do by text seeming I am not going to see her until after christmas now? I would say call, but she has some minor phobia over phone calls. She can text, talk face to face but hates the phone lol. Jon Edit: I just saw your thingybob that goes under your posts which confirms my suspicions lol. Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 That was awkward, and it's because you are sending her mixed signals. You guys are getting too mixed up. You could say that she should be as equally blatant as you, but that's just not how it works. Men are expected to make the moves, and so you should be the one. As far as texting... keep it down to a bare minimum. You should not be using it as a crutch. You do not have to stop it all together but don't be on it all day long either. Link to comment
Jonboy582 Posted December 24, 2008 Author Share Posted December 24, 2008 Ok ... I have found out why I'm getting the mixed signals. Maybe I should make a new thread for this. Actually I will and stick a link at the end of this so if you want to pass a verdict your welcome. Link to comment
Nutz Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 Completely cut off contact for a few weeks and then follow this advice: link removed There's more than that so be sure to read the full post. Link to comment
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