1st year no Christmas with the kids...

[TexasDad]

This is what I find hard to take about divorce...I won't see my kids again until December 28th. I'm left without my kids for Christmas I never intended when I got married and had children that they or I would not get to share in the joy of Christmas together. I will not get to see the anticipation in the days leading up to Christmas that builds in the lives of a 7 and 3 year old, the pure excitement of going to bed Christmas eve barely able to sleep, as they wake up early and wake mom and dad and we all get up to see the magic that is Christmas morning, the pictures and video preserve the moment forever, no I only get every other year...Divorce sucks...everything about it sucks...I know my kids will miss me on Christmas morning they too think divorce sucks...Divorce is a lot like suicide... being that the actions of one causes grief in so many others.

 

How can you heal when the only remedy involves something you can never have?

[BellaDonna]

I'm sorry. I know this must be very difficult for you.

 

To good news is that kids are resilient if they are given a lot of love.

 

What this means is on December 28th you need to make your own special Christmas day with the kids- and tell them that Santa made a very special trip to your place just for them. Take those pics, enjoy their smiles, and know that they will light up for you too. Watch some Christmas movies together, have fun. Don't let them see the disappointment you are feeling about missing Christmas. Make 12/28 a day of joy.

 

You might want to see if you can legally arrange vistation so that you get some major holidays. As their father you have rights too.

[Clabs]

Hi Texas

 

I know that this can be such a hard time of the year when you have children. My first year without my children was sooo hard and I was sooo miserable.

 

But - my ex and I agreed that the children would come to me on Boxing day and spend a couple of weeks with me. I simply organised another "Christmas day" with a tree and prsesnts all over again and lots of family over (and not a turkey in sight!). When the children arrived and saw all the presents under the tree, I asked if they could cope with another Christmas day all over again and their little eyes nealy popped out of their heads!

 

These days I have always preffered this arrangement - so much more relaxed and the kids actually have a few days to play with their new toys.

 

Shift your focus onto YOUR Christmas day mate - trust me, it works. It may not be ideal but you have to make the most of a bad situation.

 

Mark