Please help me. I seriously need help (part 2)

[Hunney Pooh]

I have recently posted my story with the topic "Still bothering whether he can change". Now I'm facing a serioud problem. My mother got to know that I'm with him again and she forces me to leave him or otherwise I have to leave the house by tomoorrow or she will throw all my belongings out of the house.

 

I'm really in a dilemma now as I do not want to make any decision as I'm not calm enough at this moment. My mum did not want to give me a chance to think and forced me to give an instant answer. I just kept quiet and she started to threaten me that she will throw out all my belongings by tomorrow. I have contact one of my friends and I plan to move to her house for the time being as I really do not any direction right now.

 

What I'm worried now is that my mother will go to my boyfriend's house and scold loudly which will make the situation worse.

 

Please!!!!! If you do read my story, please give me some feedback. Please!!!!!!!!

[raggamuffin]

Hi there,

Without trust in a relationship there really is nothing left. It seems that your boyfriend hurt you deeply when he was being with this other girl. You should be open and honest with your boyfriend about how you are feeling by telling him that you do not fully trust him again and it worries you every night and you cant sleep. I dont think that you will be happy with this man while you cannot trust him so you need to make a decision wheather you will be happy to be with someone you cant trust or with someone you can. Maybe you could ask him for some time apart so you can see how you feel about it, prehaps the only reason he begged for you back is becasue sometimes humans dont realise what they want until its gone and maybe even then he only wants you the most when he cant have you. I dont think this will be very helpful. I hope that you can soon go to sleep at night. R.

[Prettyangel]

There is no trust on your part in this relationship. What will eventually happen is that your bf will leave. Why? because men feel when something is wrong with a woman. Especially insecurity and dis-trust. What an invation of his privacy to snoop in his mail. That is plain wrong.

 

So if you want to loose him , go ahaed and do what you are doing.

 

Now if you want to keep him and want this to be a healthy relationship, changes have to happen, with YOU!

 

I say, get some good self help and self improvement literature. There is tons of this stuff online for free as well.

Work on your problems within yourself and learn to love yourself and respect yourself enough to know that snooping around in your bf privat things is absolutely wrong and very degrading to yourself.

 

I think you definitely need help here and soon. From what I read, I feel that this is an obsessive love for you and not a healthy partnership.

 

Good Luck.

[woopsydaisy]

I can understand your mistrust...i have never been in your situation before but i can only imagine what its like.Your boyfriend even though he made the mistake of the other woman, wanted you back...begged you back..and even told his parents...which takes a hell of a lot of bottle.It seems to me that he learnt his lesson by displaying remorse...and he genuinely could not stand the thought of losing you..which is very positive.Anyway i have been in the position before of a girlfriend of not trusting me...which really hurt...she used to check up on me constantly and i was well aware of it and it drove me insane..to the point of us breaking up.Now with you have a reason to be carefull, but remember you have taken him back and obviously given him a second chance ..by all means be carefull and communicate with him openly and honestly with him about your issue with trust...he should respond and reassure you..but over time trust should come back into the relationship..if not the relationship wont be going very far.

[woopsydaisy]

Oh no you are in a bit of a muddle...If i were you i would stop at your friends house until your mother has calmed down a bit...she is only concerned about you but admitidly she is not doing it in a positive way.If i were you i would talk to her and get her to realise that you have to make the descion yourself.Talk to your boyfriend as well about the situation you are now in he should help you out..that is if you still want to be with your boyfriend and you can trust him?

[raggamuffin]

Warn your boyfriend that your mother may come over and get angry at him. There is not much you can do to make your mother see the situation any differently because as we all know mothers are very very protective of their daughters. My suggestion would be not to move out of your mothers house and to explain to her that you are not going to chose. If she throws your belonings out move them back in. I you could lie to her and tell her that you have split up with him but that also wouldnt be good. Im not sure what to tell you because, my mother has always tried to be supportive of my relationshiips even if she hasnt liked the guy. I guess it comes down to who you woiuld prefer in your life. I hate to say it but Mums usually know best.