She's not acting like herself and i dont know what to do???

[kamui]

Hello everyone,

 

Ever since the start of the new year my best friend (a girl) has been acting odd, she hasn't been herself but it's only been with me. When i ask her why she's like this she doesn't give a reason. We were very close but now were drifting apart slowly and i wan't to do something but i don't know what, because it's her that's acting this way so she should be the one to set anything straight. I don't know if she's having troubles at home or with her bf but she always not herself when with me but fine with others. I told her about me having feelings for someone in college, and i don't know whether she's might be jelous (but she's just a friend). We can't talk like we did before all this started and it's exhausting all the time trying to find out what's the matter and i can't be asked doing anything anymore because if anyone's destroying this friendship it's her.

 

What do you lot think i should do? I would appreciate any input.

 

Thanks

 

-[ kamui ]-

[raggamuffin]

Maybe she doenst think that she is destroying the relationship. But I would like more information on how she is acting strangly. What is she doing that isnt normal. Prehaps you should just be understanding and start to work with the "new her" and be a good friend just by being there. Maybe she feels comfortable not being her normal self around you but she doesnt want to talk about it.

[kamui]

It's just over the past month she has changed so much. She isn't as open as she was before christmas. She told me that i was the only one who really knew her (apart from her bf). We used to hang out loads before christmas and now she doesn't talk as much as she did. I don't know why i mean i try but it to talk to her but it doesn't work. So now i don't spend as much time hanging out with her as i used to and she doesn't seem to be bothered by this. So i guess if she doesn't care then neither do i, my problem is i care too much and concentrate on making other people lives better rather than my own. At first i though that she was jelous of me liking someone else and then going off with her and not wanting to hangout with her. Well i guess this is the new her and i can't change her back to the way i want her. If she can change then so can i, i don't see why i should put my life on hold for her trying to find out what's wrong she can tell me herself.

 

Funny thing is we used to be able to talk to each other about anything and now she doesn't ask me how i am (sometimes i get depressed). Time for me to get my arse in gear and planning my future and do what i want to do and stuff anyone else.

 

Thanks

 

-[ kamui ]-

[raggamuffin]

Just because you think she doesnt care about what is happen doesnt mean that she doesnt. It also doesnt mean that you dont care, infact I would say that by coming here for help or advice or simply to vent you do care. No one said that you should put your life on hold infact you shouldnt have to put your life on hold to help her. You should be able to help her and move on with your own life. Unless of course you are waiting for her to fall inlove with you in which case you would have to wait, but other than that there is no real reason why you shouldnt be able to move on with your own life. I understand that some friendships are unable to be saved because of severe circumstances and if this is one of those cases and if you dont want to be friends with her anymore than cut your loses and move on. If you still do want to be friends than unfortunately you are going to have to put up with being treated like this and not always getting your own way. Sorry to sound so harsh but in these situations it sometimes pays off to use the tough love method.

[UnSweetMe]

it sounds like she might be a little jealous. even if you are just friends, it might hurt her a little to see you have feelings for someone else. the reason she's different with you and not anybody else is because she really doesn't know what to do with her own feelings. i'm not really sure what the *best* advice is, because that's purely based on your relationship and individual personalities. but, personally, i would either try to talk it out in an honest, sincere way so that the friendship will not be ruined, but be even stronger maybe. or...still just try to be the same with her so she will see that you having feelings for someone else doesn't make her any less special to you; that you're still good *friends.*

just out of curiosity, do you have any kind of feelings for this girl at all, outside of being friends? and what do you think your reaction would be if she told you that the reason she's been acting different is because she realized her feelings for you recently..?

[kamui]

Hi UnSweetMe,

 

Thanks for posting. First i'd like to appologies for replying to your post sooner but i have been for a while. To answer your question, yes i did have feelings for my best friend but i couldn't really do anything but we got very close as friends. I still don't know whether it's jelousy that's making her do this but i started acting the same way with her going off with some other mates in our class and not hanging around with her and i think it's done me some good being with the others. But the funny thing is that some days she's back to normal and for the rest of the week she'll be in this funny faze where she doing all these things to me. I just don't get it, and i don't care anymore because im being the same with her and it's accutly working for me. I'm now concentrating on improving my situation with the girl of my dreams. I gave her a Valentine's Day and she blushed, smiled and then hugged me in front of her friends, but im sure i would of gotten alot more if i had of waited if it was just the both of us (as i am i rushed like a fool).

 

As the saying goes "Love makes you blind" lol... well i guess that's true for me.

 

Thanks,

 

-[ kamui ]-