How do I cope?

[zachiphus]

Hey whats up guys? Haven't posted on here in awhile, not like anyone would remember me, hahaha.

 

Alright... Here's the deal.

 

I am seeing a girl right now who dare I say I am falling in love with, she's 18 soon to be 19, I'm 19 soon to be 20. We had sex on the second date, and I initiated it, you wouldn't think this is important but hold on a minute....

 

Before I met this girl I was a virgin by choice, not for any religious belief, trust me I had chances, but more because I wanted to focus on my life without having to worry about someone else in it, and I don't want to have just a fling. She still doesn't know I was a virgin before-hand and probably never will, unless the question is asked.

 

She was not a virgin... And for one reason or another this is tearing me up inside... She has told me numerous times that I am the most amazing guy she's ever met, I have helped her through numerous situations, and I have given her the best sex of her life. I don't want to feel insecure about all this, she was probably with people she really liked before and she slept with them... I want to be able to forgive that, but it's difficult... Can anyone throw anything my way to tell me that this happens, and I should just let it go? Idk why it's so hard for me to do...

 

Btw, this is an internal battle I'm having with myself, and the thought of her sleeping with someone else before me literally makes me sick to my stomach... But it shouldn't... All I want to do is to let it go and be happy with what we have right now.

 

any comforting words or advice is gladly appreciated....

[Cognitive_Canine]

It's not yours to forgive. She's done nothing wrong. And she certainly has done nothing wrong to you. You are being rather judgmental.

 

She is with you now. Who cares what is in her past? Especially when her past seems perfectly fine.

[zachiphus]

You're absolutely right. I didn't mean to word it like that, but that was the easiest way for me to put it.

 

Anyways me and her talked tonight, and I will definitely sleep better tonight. She was surprised as hell to hear I was a virgin before I met her, lol. And the people she had been with in her past were people she was in a relationship with or who she clicked with I guess you can say. I mean her and I weren't even in a relationship before we had sex, so that's really not a problem.

 

But ya, I am no longer going to look at this as a problem, it was just how both of us lived in our pasts and we are both happy now. So I can now quit worrying

[Cognitive_Canine]

You're absolutely right. I didn't mean to word it like that, but that was the easiest way for me to put it.

 

Anyways me and her talked tonight, and I will definitely sleep better tonight. She was surprised as hell to hear I was a virgin before I met her, lol. And the people she had been with in her past were people she was in a relationship with or who she clicked with I guess you can say. I mean her and I weren't even in a relationship before we had sex, so that's really not a problem.

 

But ya, I am no longer going to look at this as a problem, it was just how both of us lived in our pasts and we are both happy now. So I can now quit worrying

 

Glad you came to your senses.

 

Cause, getting hung up on little things like that would be shooting yourself in the foot. She sounds like a really nice girl and congrats on getting over your first hurdle as a team.

[ghost69]

enjoy your time dating her. you don't have to tell her you were a virgin before. that's your past just like hers is hers.

[zachiphus]

Glad you came to your senses.

 

Cause, getting hung up on little things like that would be shooting yourself in the foot. She sounds like a really nice girl and congrats on getting over your first hurdle as a team.

 

Right, I know if I let my jealousy take over me, it will be me ruining the relationship, and not her. I also had a very christian mother and father who raised me to be the way I was and wait for that someone special. She has a mom, no father figure, that gives her food and puts a roof over her head, and not really any words of wisdom..... I'm not trying to make excuses for her, but it made me see things in a different light, that's for sure. But I seriously feel loads better.