Unreal Gross: What would you do?

[atlantacindy]

I'm in love with someone who I've been dating for about 9 months. Here's the problem. We have never really had sex or never have I seen him with his shoes off because just last night, when we got back after a great day, he took his shoes and socks off in my apartment...

 

He has 6 toes. Yes, 6 toes.

 

Now, I love this guy alot and we already talked about marriage, but I don't know what to do because I would not want my children to have 6 toes. His 6th toe isn't really even a toe, it's as big as his big toe, but it has no toenail, it's more like a tooth hanging off of it. He said it can't be removed because a major blood vessel or artery goes through it. I can't believe he never told me about this, but he said he didn't think it was a big deal.

 

He kept laughing at me because I was so freaked out, but it was SO GROSS.

 

I don't know if this will make me shallow.. but I'm not sure I want to marry him.

[QTpie87]

well he can't help how he was born. you really love him right? well then it shouldn't matter. i know you love him because you talked about how you guys talked about marriage, but real love is unconditional, thereforeeee you wouldn't be spazing out because of his 6th toe. what if you were the one that had it, wouldn't you feel horrible that he felt that way? your children wouldn't have 6 toes for sure and anyway that shouldn't matter if you really love him. oh yes, im not trying to sound rub so please don't take what i said to be mean, i just don't know how else to put it. well if you want to talk about it you can pm me im here -k- oh, and the guy i like right now only has 3 toes on one of his feet. but i don't know why i said that, but hey pm me-k-

love ya,

Qtpie87

[lil_mamarains13]

You are not a very nice person if you are going to break up with someone and decide to not marry them just because they have 6toes. That is being discriminating. Put yourself in his shoes, and see how you would feel if someone didn't want to marry you because you have 6 toes. What if he decided not to marry you because you had crooked tooth or the wrong color of eyes or even the wrong color of hair. How do you think that would make you feel? Think about that one for a while.

[atlantacindy]

How can I put myself in his shoes? They are 6 toe shoes! I never noticed it before but his shoes are just a little wider than most shoes!

 

What gets me is that he never mentioned it! Wouldn't you tell someone that? I feel deceived because I think he hid it from me until I loved him. Now he reveals this gnarly toe and laughs at me because I freak out.

 

I'm more pissed about the deception than I am the toe itself, but they both bother me. This toe seriously has like a tooth thing coming out of it. C'mon!!

[lil_mamarains13]

OH my GOD the whole world is going to freaking end because your bf has 6 toes. Jesus Christ girl grow up. How is that deceiving you. He was probably born with it so it is not big thing to him, and he probably never even thinks about it. You need a reality check hit on you. I can't believe you are acting this cruel about a little freaking toe.

[QTpie87]

i am sorry for this but now i am going to be mean. really you need to pull your head out and think about this. stop making fun of him here and all "how can i put myself in his shoes, they are 6 toe shoes?" who cares! if you really love him then it would be okay with him. honey, im sorry im really not a mean person, its only maybe he was embaressed about it. maybe he was worried you would act like you are now.?. well im am sorry! i wasn't that mean! really i wasn't! it's just you loved him when you didn't know he had six toes so that shouldn't matter to you. you know what i am saying. really just sit down for a moment and think about how you would feel if you had 6 toes that you were born with and maybe you were a little embaressed about it. you need to take it easy.

love Qtpie87

[atlantacindy]

Okay.. I'll have to think about this all. My gut says I can't go through with something like this. I can't have a doctor tell me, "Here's your baby boy" and then see 6 toes. You don't understand maternal instinct.

[QTpie87]

okay this is the last time i am going to tell you this so listen up. IF YOU LOVE HIM THEN LET THE TOE THING GO, YES MAYBE IT IS BIG AS HIS OTHER BIG TOE, BUT WHO CARES IF YOU REALLY LOVE HIM??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAN! yes your children might have that same toe from his gene but if you loved them, WHO CARES? if you really love this guy then you will ecept him like he is , WHO CARES THAT HE HAS A 6TH TOE?!? do you really love him or what?

[Derek]

Oh my,

 

Well, the other hand could be, that if they did a DNA test on you,

you might have a small chance of giving your baby some other

strange anomoly too. Why should he marry you?

 

Life is weird. Embrace it. Deal with the cards you get.

 

 

[QTpie87]

so may i please ask you if you have any idea what everyone is saying here. and if you realize how silly and mean you are being?

[raggamuffin]

Is it just me or is anyone else thinking "Its just an extra toe?" Maybe he didnt tell you because he knew that you would react this way in which case hes probably glad he didnt tell you before hand. Maybe other girls havent given him a chance after they have seen his toe. I think your lucky that he took it sooo lightly when you were freaking out. I think that you should try and get over it I mean honestly how often do you look at someones feet? I know that when I have been in love they have been thel last thing ive even thought about. If you love him really love him it wont matter its in his heart that what really counts not on his feet. I agree with the others that have said think about how you would feel if you were the one with the extra toe you would want to be treated like any normal 5 toed person im sure. I think you have already made up your mind you seem pretty turned off by it. So if you are going to end it do it as soon as possible because its not fair on him that your shallowness keeps him in a relationship that he is not loved for who he is. He needs to move on and find someone that will love all of him.

[Tinkerbell]

Well, if you really love this guy and you've already considered marriage, you shouldn't let a 6th toe or whatever it is keep you away. When you think about it, a person's feet are covered the majority of the day. You'd really only have to deal with it when you guys are sleeping or having sex. If it bothers you so much you could always ask him to keep his socks on when you guys are getting intimidate. But after all, he is the same guy, and he's probably self-conscious about his minor deformity already, so I don't think you freaking out will help much. Give yourself some time to get used to it, and if you still can't bare it, try the sock idea.

 

Sincerely,

Cherry

 

[Michael2]

Are you kidding me? No offense, but your entire argument is flawed. Are you sure you really LOVE him, stating that you are considering breaking up with him, and thinking that your kids might have six toes. SOmething is VERY wrong with your thought process.

 

Dont get me wrong, I am not demeaning you , but for you to place such emphasis on a frigin TOE is wrong in so many ways.

 

An extra toe, I personally think that is pretty cool and could make for an awesome conversation piece with friends.

 

Sometimes I wonder what people are thinking.

 

 

 

Seriously, get over it.

[Chrisser]

I have heard you say that you are mad because of the deception but I am sure it was more an insecurity than anything. Think about what it must have been like to be a kid and the things that others have probably said about it. I personally don't think that its a big deal but then again I haven't ever been in this type of situation. The bottom line is if you truly loved this man you most likely wouldn't be thinking the way that you are. Just take some time and think about the man that you love his feelings. His lauphter I am sure was probably a nervous reaction to the way that you reacted. Anyway I hope that it works out.

[humanoidcontent]

To those who may have read my post:

 

let me apologize to the topic starter (or w/e you want to call it) You are entitled to you opinions and feelings and I should not be the one to question or discriminate you for your doubts or soforth. truly sorry, keep up the singing!

 

0X

[justagirl]

Well, I didnt read many of the replys to your post...but I am pretty sure I can imagine what they say.

 

I don't think you should be flipping out as much as you did or still are. He was born with something that can't be changed. How can you measure your love or willing to marry someone on a toe? That is just unreal to me that you would honestly break a great relationship, a guys heart and a possibly fantastic life just because he has one more toe than most people. How would you feel if you had something on your body that you had to deal with the torment, comments, decisions about what to do with the something, and just the idea that people would actually choose to live their life without you because they were childish enough to let it stand in their way of loving you? How would you feel? Why dont you take a step back and think about him for once and the fact that maybe he wouldn't tell you about the toe because he figured you'd act like this and he wanted to see if you would be adult enough to not worry about it or go negative on him.

 

Think of what he's gone through, ask him more about it, learn from it. and also, grow up. Its just a toe.

 

Justagirl

 

[fairywyngs]

Break up with him. Sounds to me like you're using the excuse that he has this MASSIVE deformity that you just can't get over, to break up with him anyway, so you might as well save him a bit of time and do it now so he doesn't have to put up with your behaviour any longer than he has to.

 

If you truly love him (which from your postings, suggests otherwise) you would look at this 6th toe as just more of him to love.

 

If you truly loved him, you would be empathic to his feelings. You would try to understand that he might had had to put up with peoples prejudices

in the past that has made him hestitant to tell you about it until now.

 

If you truly love him you would know that there is more to a man, a relationship, a love, than an extra toe.

 

Stop kidding yourself, if he didn't have an extra toe, you'd probably find something else about him that you just couldn't possibly get over.

 

So rather that trying to get over it, you should just get out of it.

[neva_black_n_white]

ok i can understand your shock because yes it may be the first time you saw it and too right you werent expecting it, but to be shocked and everything i dont reakon he was laughing because of that, think about it he had obviously avoided taking his shoes off until you were both comfortable with each other, im guessing this wasnt a boost to his confidence but he tried for you.

 

god though, it is just a sixth toe hes not the only one in the world with one, and it may be funny to you and possibly us for the whole ''how can i put myself in his shoes he has six toes'' but if thats too hard for you to take seriously what were asking is how would you feel is this was you?

 

if you love him you will stay with im this is a barrier you will have to cross just dont take it as hard as you have. reasure him. but dont lead him on.

 

 

i agree with the majority of what everyone else has said also, nice debate peeps!

 

kel

[atlantacindy]

Okay. He slept over last evening and I thought about it more. I actually dreamt about it but that's a different story.

 

Last night about 2AM I woke up and lifted up the covers and took a look at his toe again. I spent a long time looking at it, trying to get use to it.

 

I thought about your posts... am I being petty? It IS just a toe afterall.

 

I looked at the toe some more, even the little tooth thing coming out of it.

 

Well, this morning we had a long discussion.. we just finished...

 

I guess I've been so paranoid about the whole thing because I've never told him that I had a nose job a few years back. Little does he know that our children may have large and gnarly noses. So, any physical deformities bother me. That's why I was so unforgiving.

 

So, we'll have kids with big noses and 6 toes! Whoopie!!

[neva_black_n_white]

understandable now that you give your dilemma i guess you were conscious of things. i got a little lost, is it over, or are you apparently having kids with 6 toes etc, which does have good odds on not happening anyway it depends on how far the genes have gone back and outlook on each family. its all about dominant and recessive genes so dont jump to conclusions that this was going to happen.

 

whatever choice you made this morning i hope it was the right one.

good luck in life.

kel