i know it depends on the situation, but....

[viewsonic34]

what % of these "need space" scenarios ever result in a reunion. i'd love a statistic. i know when i "needed space" in the past it was for good. but in those situations, i knew for whatever reason during the entire relationship it was not meant to be. i was kidding myself, kinda having fun with it and happy to have companionship until i reached that breaking point of "needing space" . do people, particularly people that are 25 years of age and older, date under these circumstances and know this fact all along? i am past the point of dating just for the sake of dating someone i have no long term interest in. would she do that? do they ever come back? i have been doing ok, mainly b/c i am so freaking busy i dont have time to think about it. as soon as i have thoughts to myself, i get busy again doing something else. not sure if that qualifies as "getting over someone" or "delaying the inevitable depressed sessions". i hate down days. i hate what this girl managed to do to my fragile eggshell mind ( which prior to this episode was just fine, thanks!!)

[QTpie87]

i don't understand what you are asking, but i really want to help. how about you pm me and let me know what is going on here. -k-

love Qtpie87

[avman]

Well like you said, it really depends on the situation. I've seen a few studies on this and they varied widely. But kind of the middle ground number that I recall was less than 1/3 of couples that breakup reunite successfully.

 

Its not a very encouraging statistic I'm afraid. But it does happen.

[JSHRN]

There are alot of posts on this forum from guys and girls who were in relationships for a few years which ended in break ups because their ex's "needed space" or "needed time" to "figure things out".

 

If your gf or bf can't look you in the eye and give you a good reason why they "need space," then it is just an excuse. If anyone reading this can think of a good reason then I'm curious to hear what it is...

 

If you ask for space and then your ex gives it to you, you might feel abandoned and rush back into the relationship. Conversely, if you ask for space and your ex does not give it to you, then you might become even more suffocated and repulsed by the relationship. These are the two extremes of course, and what usually happens lies somewhere in the middle.

 

One thing is for sure though... once this "game" starts, the whole nature of the relationship has changed and it takes a lot of work and communication to make the "game" go away.

 

My main problem is how someone can do this and still be in love with the other person? "I'm still in love with you and want to be with you, but I just don't want to see you for a while." Ohh...okayyy...thanks?

 

There is definitely a risk when you ask for space or break up with someone. I think the biggest risk is that one party, whether it be the space/break up requester or their partner, may actually find out that he/she isn't truly in love with the other or is better off without the other which I believe is something that would have came out someday down the road in relationship anyway. And in this case, you both just saved each other alot of wasted time and heartache (no matter how much it hurts now). You will be thankful later because this just would mean that there is someone better out there for you. But on the other hand, if it is true love and if you are meant to be together then what's the risk? I mean I'm not going to lie-- I am a little insecure now. But if you truly love someone, you're not going to run out and be with someone else right away. You would have no desire to.

 

I do know of some couples who have split up for awhile and gotten back together. But, I think it's an exception more than the norm. As far as an actually percentage of "second-chance romance" I would think it would be a relatively low %.

 

JSHRN

[Silent Lucidity]

I think a lot more of the space scenarios or breaks result in getting back together than is documented or predicted. Fact is that in today's society it is rare for young couples to meet, date, never break up and marry for life. It just doesn't happen that way. I needed space in the last relationship I was in and not because I saw the relationship ending or because it just wasn't there. I was concentrating on my career and my focus was being a solid human being and establishing myself for the future. I knew that my relationship would suffer and that is not what I wanted as I was dating someone younger than me by quite a bit, who was going through scholastic related stress. I knew and still believe she is the one and that we were meant to be together. I didn't take the break because I got selfish and needed her support. The result was the relationship did suffer and we broke up in December. I really regret not taking that break now. Certain situations benefit from the break scenario. For others it is an easy way to break things off and not hurt the other person.