Is it too late? Would I just be embarassing myself?

[WhyAmIShy]

There is this girl that I have had a crush on since the beginning of the fall semester (September 2003) and around Christmas she started working at a store where my brother is a manager. One night I went in there (still before Christmas) for some shopping ideas and later that night my brother told me that she thinks I'm adorable (not sure if those were her words or not).

 

I am quite shy and also work practically full time while attending school full time. I also tend to procrastinate from time to time... So I have done everything up until now to avoid confrontation even though everyone tells me I should ask her out. Just working keeps me busy most of the time so on my day(s) off I would just assume sleep as go to the mall and humiliate myself.

 

The last couple of days/weeks have been pretty good for me and my self-esteem and I have made some good friends where I work who want to set me up with another girl this weekend (I have never really dated or had much of any kind of relationship). While I feel that this set-up would be an excellent experience/opportunity for me I also think that I may be closing the door forever on my crush mentioned above.

 

I have the next couple of days off from work and feel that if I am ever going to ask out this girl, now is the time. At least if she says no now, I have a backup plan (not sure if that's the best term...). But have I waited too long to ask her out? It has been about a month since she mentioned me to my brother and I have never said much more than "Hi" to her since the first time I met her. I am starting to have the same fears I had when I first met her of wondering if she has a boyfriend since I waited so long. With these days off I will also be able to have the support of some friends who want to help me overcome my shyness, but I'm still not sure.

 

Do I take the brave road and go after what I have wanted for so long? or do I just take the practically sure thing and go on this date (which would be a double date with a guy I work with)? And if I take the brave road and she says "yes" what do I tell my friend from work... "Oh, sorry, I've been single my entire life but the idea of you and your girlfriend setting me up with a friend inspired me to ask out someone else!!"

 

I mean, I know this girl my brother works with is absolutely beautiful, and she (at one point) liked me.

 

I feel like I'm talking in circles, so I'll shut up and let someone else tell me what they think...

 

Thanks in advance,

Scared, Excited, and Confused

[buffalosoldier]

Hey Sweets,

 

I felt compelled to answer your advice request, coz i know of so many people that feel this way and are shy around people they like.

 

Its funny,most of the time we are not shy around people that we have no interest in,but yet as soon as someone comes along with whom we are attracted to,we go all gooey and dont know what to say or how to act. One of lifes unexplained mysterys!

 

I dont think that you are closing the door on your crush,all you are doing is simply keeping your options open and taking chances.There is nothing wrong with this,you are single and have the right to go on as many dates as you wish.I know what you mean though,i mean if your crush finds out,then she might think you dont like her.

 

Why not take out your crush?seeing as she is the one that you have wanted to be with for a long time,i think you should try your hand at asking her out on a date first.That way you have nothing to lose.

 

Go for it,being shy myself i understand how scared you might be,but you just have to DO IT.dont think about it,dont agonise over it,just do it. the worst case scenario is that she says no..well all this will do is give you the green light to take the other girl out.You have a choice here so think yourself lucky!!

 

Have fun!

[ilinara]

I would definitely ask her out. Who knows if you will like the other girl or if it will work out with her. You can postpone the meeting with the other girl. Ask your brother to talk to the girl you like to find out wether she has a boyfriend or not, as she will guess that he is asking for you her answer will be something like a no or yes for you inviting her to a date as well.