Sweet Emotion

[Imconfused]

Ok I allready have a post its name was mixed emotion if you need more facts. Well a new problem has risin and I'm not sure how to "deal" with it. Well anyway to get started the girl that I like we have "made up" would be the term to use. She and I have steadliy began to talk and get along like we used to. Well she is still seeing her boyfriend and I wouldn't say anything that will let her know, which she proboly does that I like her. Anyway there was another kid, basiclly a jerk, who only wants one thing, has also been chasing her. He has stopped at the store we both work at and has called her and sent an email asking her out. Well about a week ago he tried again after she told him that she was seeing someone (I'm sorry this happen a few months ago) Anyway this kid has persisted and in hopes of getting rid of him (yes thats her basic words0 is going to "hangout" with him, but its only the two of them. This has made me question her morals, and knowing this kid I allready know he isn't going to make this a hangout session. So anyway I kinda became a little enraged about this, I keeped it to myself. But not to make this sound like a winny person, but for two years I have been waiting, I have asked her to hangout, but as friends if she wanted to, and I have been nice, a friend, etc... So how come I get kicked off to the side when some jerk who pushes him self in gets to (if you want to say as hard for me its) go out. I tried to tell her and she said she will maybe blow him off!!!, Maybe what the? Anyway I emailed her and listed several reasons why not to, mainly for her current boyfriend and tried to explain what this kid is all about. But as usuall the email is read, and assuming ignored, with no response, I did tell her it was none of my business to "interfer" but didn't want her to make a major mistake. Did I handle this right or what? So far she hasn't contacted me its only been a day, should I call her, send another email? lay off? I work with her again this week, and it maybe a quite night, but I just got finished saying sorry, and here we are again. I talked to one of the girls i work with and she told me that if I were to tell this girl I like her, she maybe fine, or most likely be fine with it if nothing is felt by her, so should I just go ahead and say something. The only reason I haven't is #1 she has a boyfriend who seems like a nice guy, and #2 I dodn't know if she would feel the same way back.

 

Thanks anyone who can help me!

[mhonkieys]

whoa dude, you sound like a very good friend of mine, he gets these long time obessions, i'll give you the same advice, which he hates and disguards. lay off, you sound like you're a total reck for this girl, and she sounds like she hardly cares. perhaps its simply the way i read what you said, but i see three things, 1 you're in love/lust 2 she isn't with you 3 you've focused so much on her that you haven't focused on yourself, others.

 

lets take this thing apart, what makes her so special? what does she give/have that you can't get elsewhere? are you focusing on her out of chemistry or out of lust? desperation? are you simply lonely?

 

one thing to think about is the reason we do things, not just the situations which fall into place, perhaps shes not your type of girl (if you honestly think she is going to "hang out" and then some with this 'kid') and in the end, it doesn't seem any of your business, not from her end at least, from yours i'm sure it very much does, you have a vested interest in her, you have focused emotions on this girl, but you've got to remember until otherwise confirmed, those are purly your emotions. as such, its not your place to give her the morals lecture.

 

in short pull back, and look at things from a different angle, try to understand all sides. and mostly, stop projecting your feelings/thoughts/hopes onto other people, its only good for driving people away

[Imconfused]

I don't believe its lust, I really do like her for her. There are several reasons why I like her. Most of which was her personality, but I understand what you are saying, and that proboboly best just to lay off altogether. I'm not lonely or desperate, its just felt like something clicked, but I guess I was wrong, and I am finding that out the hard way. Well Thanks for responding to my post.