confused by his behaviour... advice/opinions please :)

[subtitled]

I have liked this guy for over half a year now. I've posted about him before, he works in the cd store i used to walk through to get to school everyday. He used to give me cds and we'd chat a bit. I'm now finished school, but in my last weeks of school he gave me his number. I called him up a few times, he was out. He eventually returned my call, there have been some confused signals like his strange behaviour when i've said hi to him at work and he's acted completely indifferent towards me, yet in phone messages puts lots of emotion in through smiley faces and punctuation..

 

anyway, the most recent thing is that before i went away on schoolies (holiday/party when you graduate), he messaged me at 1am in the morning saying hey how are you etc, we should go to a gig together, when are you 18? etc... it was a pretty flirty convo through mobile phone messages... anyway, i was in the middle of courting another person, so i tried not to be to responsive. He asked me to call him when i got back.

 

I didn't call him when i got back as the person i had been courting had asked me out. Then, one night i got a message from the other guy (cd guy) letting me know about a music journalism course i might be interested in. I said i would call him that week, that i'd been quite busy etc and was he going to see THe Strokes? and he said yeh, we should go together and yeh to give him a call when im free.

 

So i called, i dropped in "my boyfriend" once just to let him know without directly saying - i have a boyfriend. Soon after, he started talkinga bout his ex girlfriend and how she's his best friend but he sometimes thinks it's a bit complicated etc. i totally didnt expect him to discuss this with me! some of my friends thought he might've felt intimidated by me talkinga bout my boyfriend.

 

ANYWAY... i said - we should do something sometime... and he said yeh, weekends are good for me. this was about 4 weeks ago.

 

I've now broken up with my boyfriend.

 

Last thursday i messaged the cd guy and said - hey what are you up this weekend, want to do something?

 

he replied only on monday! so 4 days later... saying "hey dude sorry about the delayed message! but we should do something soon? maybe this week one night? let me know what day is cool for you cos i'm pretty easy "

 

so i replied "yeh whenever, i'm free all week. Give me a call sometime [home phone number]and we'll organise something! Talk to you soon!"

 

it's now sunday and i haven't heard from him...which is really disappointing.

 

this is the first time he's ever had my home phone number. i've called him at home though.. also i'm not sure if he owns a mobile, because when we first exchanged numbers he said he didnt have one, but then he's messaged me since and i've been on the phone with him when his mobile has rang.. it could be his mum's but i dontknow.. something might explain the delay of his reply to my initial invite.

 

Basically - do i call him up or message him and say "hey its sunday and we still havent done anything! if you dont want to that's cool, just let me know"

 

or do i leave it? and what to think of the signals?....they've always been so mixed with hiim for the last 5 months. i used to put it down to the fact i was finishing school and had important exams so he wouldn't be asking me out.

 

on a side note: he's going overseas this year, in feb/march i think.. so there would be no chance of a long term relationship, but i dont want to lose contact with him... some part of me longs to see if we'd ever make a good match

[SecretsGirl]

Hey,

Does this guy know that you split up with your boyfriend? Maybe that's stopping him from getting in contact with you if he doesn't. He might have been surprised by the mention of a boyfriend if he knew you were interested in him.

It can't do any harm to send him the meaage that you mentioned...even if it's just to let him know that you're still interested in meeting up.

Good Luck, Hope things work out.

xx

[subtitled]

No, he doesn't know we split up... i want to tell him, but that would require having to speak to him...

 

i sent him the message but he hasn't replied...

 

i think maybe he doesn't have access to the mobile, that would mean he couldn't get my phone number (home or mobile) as they're on the phone only... maybe the phone really is his mum's and she's got it and she's away or he's not home or something.

 

i dont know, but it's really frustrating and disappointing

[SecretsGirl]

I know how you feel...time seems even longer when your waiting for a phone call or a messgae to arrive. If he's shown interest in you before then there no reason why he should hesitate from seeing you now, maybe he's just got a lot on at the moment and hasn't realised how much time has passed. Also if he thinks you have a boyfriend he might not want to appear too keen so as not to cause any trouble.

There could be many, many reasons why he hasn't replied yet but none need to incude how he feels about you. Like you said he might simply not have the phone. If you've waited 6 months, you can hold out for a few more days...even if they do seem long!!

Or do you have any mutual friends who you could ask about it? or do you know any of friends who might know where you stand?

Wish you all the best, really hope it works out for you

xx

[subtitled]

Unfortunately, he's only my friend as i met him where he works. I have friends who work in the same complex, and have seen him around, but they don't atually know him and i think going up to him and asking about me would be entirely the worng idea

 

It is true that if i've waited 6months i can wait... i guess what is most annoying is that it's always been so on and off with him, i thought finally i was going to do something with him outside of the place he works.. but no.

 

Things have always swung around with him, like he gives me his number, then i call, he's out, doesn't return my call, then he calls from a friends place, then he barrs me off in person, then he messages me at 1am...

 

you know? it just seems to go round in circles, i want a resolution, even if it is that he doesn't like me.

 

thanks heaps for you support secret girl!