She goes out every night, and leaves me at home waiting!

[mickmorley]

I need to know what to do...

My gf keeps going out, every night, leaves me at home waiting for her, she gets home late, keeps me up, and then we sleep, get up and goto work. We hardly spend quality time together n e more because she is always out with her friends....

I don't know what to do... I want us to be happy to be with each other again... I have told her how I feel, she says she wont go out late n e more, then she goes out, and calls me telling me she wont be home till hours later...

How can I stop this from occurring, I don't know what to do. Please help... (as you have probly noticed I have been trying to get our relationship on track for some time now).

[SwingFox]

Hi Mick,

 

Thank you for sharing your question with us. I see how you are going through a hard time with your g/f. I can fully understand your worries and concerns.

 

My suggestion to you is to think hard about what you need in a relationship and what your expectations are. May be it's even a good idea to write them down, to make sure you don't forget anything. After you have done that, I think it would be a good idea to have a REALLY serious talk to your g/f. I would tell her again how this situation makes you feel. Try to avoid her getting defensive over it and talk in terms of how YOU feel. It looks like her going out all the time REALLY bothers you. I want to point out to you that if you are not happy, Mick, you will never be able to make someone else happy. That by definition includes her.

 

My advice is to see if this situation is something you might want to put your relationship in danger. If this really really bugs you, then it might be a good idea, to communicate to her that this is very very important to you, and that you are not sure wether you could get along like this.

 

Last but not least, I would like to tell you that it might be a good idea to vary words of love with your concerns. Tell her that you love her, but that you are concerned. Then tell her that you think she's really awesome, but you still are confused over her going out every night and stay up that late. etc, etc.

 

I hope this will help you a little. I wish you good luck with this

 

~ SwingFox ~

[maelenebaby]

stop the drama baby girl! why do you allow her to do this to you? i was just recently going through the same exact thing and let me tell you it is not fun sitting there hoping she would call and count every minute til she comes home. ask yourself, why do you think she wants to go out so much? what other problems are you having in your relationship that may contribute to this problem? in my situation its bad enough i pay for all the bills and rent and shes been freeloading off of me but going out all night every night and no phone call? no way i kicked her out and i feel good about myself. give her an ultimatum, tell her either she stops going out because your feeling really neglected, or tell her your gonna need some time apart. and dont panic because if she really loves you, then shell think about it hard and she'll change for the better.

[mermayd]

Hey Mick...

I think that you deserve a bit more respect than what she is giving you. I truly believe in the suggestions that swingfox has offered. You need to have a serious talk with her and tel her your feelings. Words like, "I feel...I want...I think....and I need" are very productive in a situation like this. If she is not willing to change her behavior and if it bothers you to no end, you should maybe think about giving her an ultimatum. You cannot stay with someone who does not respect you or your wishes. I can only imagine how she is making you feel with this behavior. I would be very angry at my significant other in this situation...