The anxiety is just getting worse

[SchecterGuy]

So this anxiety began with an attempt to reconcile with my ex back in April to June. We broke up in October and back then I thought it was the right decision. I was wrong and after the failed reconciliation things just seem to get worse. Unfortunately I am in the mindstate where I look at my past as an indication of my future. When looking back there was very little good that happened to me since I left college three years ago. Moved in with a crazy roomate that I am just now moving away from. Job has been far from satisfying.

 

Here is my main issue. Everytime I try to change something for the better things just get worse. I changed positions within my company thinking getting out of the current environment would be better. The job I got into was worse than the one I started with. I thought breaking up with the ex would lead to a happier me because I wouldn't have to deal with her issues in life. I am way worse than I was before we broke up. I am about to move out. I am praying that does not become a fiasco. I want to switch positions again, but I am afraid it can only get worse. I have a very small support base near where I am at. I am afraid I will never find love again since I do not exactly know many women.

 

I am going to therapy and started going to synagogue again. Both help really well for the moment, but after awhile the effects wear off and I am back to filling anxious again.

[Mutley]

I totally relate to that non-stop anxiety you are feeling.

 

I'm with a new therapist in which I am working on reprogramming the negative thinking. She calls it simply good brain vs. bad brain.

 

I am currently on medication, but I hope once I get my thinking to together...I will be able to get off it.

[SchecterGuy]

Yeah I am deeathly afraid of going on medication. I do not want it to change who I am or cause undesirable side effects.

[Mutley]

Yeah I am deeathly afraid of going on medication. I do not want it to change who I am or cause undesirable side effects.

 

It won't change who you are. But if you can use it as a tool to get better, it's worth considering. In my opinion.

[Wolf_22]

It won't change who you are. But if you can use it as a tool to get better, it's worth considering. In my opinion.

 

It's a valuable tool if it helps. This is true.

 

I, personally, have realized that I believe in cognitive approaches due to my personal beliefs in medicine and cognitive-behavioral therapy.

 

My oldest brother was put on some medicine for similar issues. It helped him. I'm not too sure that medicine of this nature is as dangerous as the stereotypical perspective portrays them as being, but if there's still a wrinkle of hope in your mind that there is something else to try before resorting to prescriptions, then I advise you to keep trying to fight through it via things like your counselor is doing (good vs. bad programming ~ cognitive-behavioral approach).

[SchecterGuy]

I have had only two sessions. Basically these sessions consisted of me talking and him asking a question here and there (kind of leading the convo). I am curious as to how long before the "treatment" starts. When I leave his office I feel good. When I leave Synagogue I feel good. That lasts all of about an hour or so. After that I end up feeling like crap again. I have not had a full night's sleep in about two months. I can fall asleep now. But everyday I wake up abou two hours before I should.

 

I think I know why my anxiety is so bad today. I had a dream last night where I was with my ex and her sisters and her sisters kept telling me how my ex was so much happier without me and how much better things are now that i am gone. That was painful.

[Wolf_22]

Buddy, it sounds like you're just hurt. It takes time to get passed that pain. I was with someone whom I loved dearly, and of course, luck would have it that she's with someone now - and it's been almost a year and today, it hurts just as bad as it did when I first found out about the other guy.

 

Takes time man. Keep going to those sessions. Write down things to bring in and discuss with the professional like anything that may spark these emotions in you - such as whatever might be a catalyst for your feelings and sudden mood changes, etc.

 

Hang in there. There's light at the end of this dark tunnel your in.

[SchecterGuy]

I know exactly what I am going to talk about next time. I am a relationship addict that got force-fed relationship opportunities in college and now that I am out my next fix is a lot more difficult to obtain.